Money Moral Dilemma: Should I turn down my friend's Italian wedding invite?

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

Why wouldn't the Bride & Groom want to make it easy for guests to attend their wedding?
If they choose a specific location that is not close to where the majority of guests live then it seems logical to enable as many of their family and friends to attend as possible.

It isn't that hard to consider transport for guests up front in those circumstances. Of course, if you get married in the village church and have the Reception in the local cricket club or church hall it isn't an issue. However, destination weddings are quite popular now and we have been to several where the church and the venue were 50 miles apart or the whole wedding was in a location 250 miles from home. In the latter case, most of us stayed in the same hotel as the wedding or in nearby places but there was transport available for those who needed it.

Maybe ask those brides & grooms we read about on here who plan to get married abroad and throw a strop when someone declines the invitation.

You could ask the person who initiated this 'dilemma' why her friend is getting married in Italy if there'd be ani chance of a reply.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe ask those brides & grooms we read about on here who plan to get married abroad and throw a strop when someone declines the invitation.

You could ask the person who initiated this 'dilemma' why her friend is getting married in Italy if there'd be ani chance of a reply.

The poster we responded to was commenting on the transport arrangements abroad, obviously, if the wedding is abroad then guests make their own way there, but once there if the wedding is difficult to get to then I agree that transport should be thought about.

I was commenting on weddings in the UK but not necessarily close to the home location of the majority of guests. It is really quite common here to put coaches on for wedding guests. We did it for our own wedding for guests on DH's side coming from 40 miles away.

ska_lover

People should get married where they want - and do what they want. It is their life

However they should not be surprised if other folk are not as inclined to spend a fortune. I think its perfectly to be expected for a fair few to refuse the invite based on that

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

And you were wrong then!

:D:D:D

:beer::beer::beer::beer:

No, dear.


We just had different opinions.
And I wasn't so pompous as to assume I was the one in the right.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

The poster we responded to was commenting on the transport arrangements abroad, obviously, if the wedding is abroad then guests make their own way there, but once there if the wedding is difficult to get to then I agree that transport should be thought about.

I was commenting on weddings in the UK but not necessarily close to the home location of the majority of guests. It is really quite common here to put coaches on for wedding guests. We did it for our own wedding for guests on DH's side coming from 40 miles away.

OK.
That's just not been my experience.
Hence my earlier comments.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

No, dear.


We just had different opinions.
And I wasn't so pompous as to assume I was the one in the right.

And I was only joking. . Sorry if it came across any other way

I've got to say I agree with happyandcontented. Weddings I have known about in the UK in out of the way places have had transport put on. And those who were invited were there for the whole bash. There wasn't a division between guests

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

And I was only joking. . Sorry if it came across any other way

I certainly got that from the smileys you used.
I was joking too.
And I was expecting a response like that when I said we'd been here before.
Sort of set you up for such a riposte.

I thought the winky smiley and kiss would have told you that my reply was light-hearted.

Should we delete our posts in case someone comes along and decides to report us?

But in any case, no offense taken here. :grouphug:

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

I certainly got that from the smileys you used.
I was joking too.
And I was expecting a response like that when I said we'd been here before.
Sort of set you up for such a riposte.

I thought the winky smiley and kiss would have told you that my reply was light-hearted.

Should we delete our posts in case someone comes along and decides to report us?

But in any case, no offense taken here. :grouphug:

I thought you were joking. Just making sure!

:j:j

Leave the posts. It shows other posters how to live in peace and harmony!

:A:A

crmism

Tell your friend Thanks, but No Thanks.

As she's getting wed in another country altogether, I'd expect her to cover part of the expense of your being there herself, at the very least - and, as you rightly say, what will you do the rest of the time if you don't speak Italian?

It's most unfair and, to some degree, inconsiderate, to plan a wedding such a long way away, without thinking about the upheaval of the guests who just might want to attend. There again, she might be anticipating you to decline anyway!

Pollycat

crmism wrote: »

Tell your friend Thanks, but No Thanks.

As she's getting wed in another country altogether, I'd expect her to cover part of the expense of your being there herself, at the very least - and, as you rightly say, what will you do the rest of the time if you don't speak Italian?

It's most unfair and, to some degree, inconsiderate, to plan a wedding such a long way away, without thinking about the upheaval of the guests who just might want to attend. There again, she might be anticipating you to decline anyway!

I disagree with this ^^^^.

I think people should be able to decide exactly where and when they get married.

Pollycat wrote: »

As long as the couple getting married don't sulk and throw a strop when invited guests decline the invitation because of difficulty in getting there, I don't see the problem.