Money Moral Dilemma: Should I turn down my friend's Italian wedding invite?

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

In what way?
Putting a bus on?
So everyone would have to leave at the same time?
Multiple buses for guests who are invited to the whole shebang and those just invited for the evening do?
Feeder buses to get everybody to a convenient place to start from?

You could have gone with another guest but you didn't want that option.

I think people getting married have enough on without arranging transport for guests.
If the location is too remote for you, decline the invitation.
As long as the couple getting married don't sulk and throw a strop when invited guests decline the invitation because of difficulty in getting there, I don't see the problem.

Many years ago I went to a wonderful wedding on a remote loch in Scotland

For those of us who weren't driving the couple laid on a coach from Glasgow Airport. We all stayed in either the hotel where the wedding was or another one a couple of miles down the road. Transport was arranged to and from the wedding venue for those staying at Hotel B.

The coach then took us all back to Glasgow Airport the day after the wedding.

It, really, wasn't that complicated. Everyone who was going went to the wedding and the evening do. Mind you the lack of a loo on the coach back to Glasgow was a disadvantage! :eek::eek::eek:

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

Many years ago I went to a wonderful wedding on a remote loch in Scotland

For those of us who weren't driving the couple laid on a coach from Glasgow Airport. We all stayed in either the hotel where the wedding was or another one a couple of miles down the road. Transport was arranged to and from the wedding venue for those staying at Hotel B.

The coach then took us all back to Glasgow Airport the day after the wedding.

It, really, wasn't that complicated. Everyone who was going went to the wedding and the evening do. Mind you the lack of a loo on the coach back to Glasgow was a disadvantage! :eek::eek::eek:

But as you say 'many years ago'.
I can see that working 'many years ago'.
But maybe not so much nowadays.

If I was invited to a wedding that was in a remote location, I'd check out the options of getting there & back and if attending the wedding wasn't feasible, I'd decline the invitation.
I would never expect the bride and groom to 'make it easier' for me to attend their wedding.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

As a group of friends, we do this when our children get married. The coaches run from church to the venue and back at an appointed time, and there is an evening pick up from the local pub for evening only guests. It has always worked well, the option is there but if you wish to go earlier or stay later than the coaches are booked for then you organise your own taxi.

And I can see that working.

I was talking about random guests, not a close group of friends.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

But as you say 'many years ago'.
I can see that working 'many years ago'.
But maybe not so much nowadays.

If I was invited to a wedding that was in a remote location, I'd check out the options of getting there & back and if attending the wedding wasn't feasible, I'd decline the invitation.
I would never expect the bride and groom to 'make it easier' for me to attend their wedding.

It really does work even today, it just needs a bit of planning and adding to the invitations with a request that you advise if the offer of transport will be taken up. My friend's daughter got married in the middle of remote countryside and it worked perfectly for all concerned.

The coaches were for all the guests both evening and all day guests. By referring to friends I meant this is what is common in our friendship group.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

But as you say 'many years ago'.
I can see that working 'many years ago'.
But maybe not so much nowadays.

If I was invited to a wedding that was in a remote location, I'd check out the options of getting there & back and if attending the wedding wasn't feasible, I'd decline the invitation.
I would never expect the bride and groom to 'make it easier' for me to attend their wedding.

I, absolutely, can

Same remote location. Same coaches to and from Glasgow Airport. There was no "expectation" from the guests for it to be made easier for them, The couple just made it part of their planning and saw it as the best way for people to get there. The roads were a bit iffy!

Why would you say it wouldn't happen today?

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

I, absolutely, can

Same remote location. Same coaches to and from Glasgow Airport. There was no "expectation" from the guests for it to be made easier for them, The couple just made it part of their planning and saw it as the best way for people to get there. The roads were a bit iffy!

Why would you say it wouldn't happen today?

The poster I was originally replying to did have an expectation for it to be made easier for them.

You are talking about a specific location.
I was talking more generally.

You said 'everyone who was going went to the wedding and evening do'.
Nowadays, there appears to be different 'classes' of guests.
As I've already said, some are invited to the whole do, some just for the evening.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

The poster I was originally replying to did have an expectation for it to be made easier for them.

You are talking about a specific location.
I was talking more generally.

You said 'everyone who was going went to the wedding and evening do'.
Nowadays, there appears to be different 'classes' of guests.
As I've already said, some are invited to the whole do, some just for the evening.

But you responded to my specific post and said "not so much nowadays". I can only reply to that and say it would work just the same.

As a general point

If you want to go you'll find a way

If you don't want to go you'll find a reason not to.

And I am as guilty of that as anyone else.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

The poster I was originally replying to did have an expectation for it to be made easier for them.

You are talking about a specific location.
I was talking more generally.

You said 'everyone who was going went to the wedding and evening do'.
Nowadays, there appears to be different 'classes' of guests.
As I've already said, some are invited to the whole do, some just for the evening.

Why wouldn't the Bride & Groom want to make it easy for guests to attend their wedding? If they choose a specific location that is not close to where the majority of guests live then it seems logical to enable as many of their family and friends to attend as possible.

It isn't that hard to consider transport for guests up front in those circumstances. Of course, if you get married in the village church and have the Reception in the local cricket club or church hall it isn't an issue. However, destination weddings are quite popular now and we have been to several where the church and the venue were 50 miles apart or the whole wedding was in a location 250 miles from home. In the latter case, most of us stayed in the same hotel as the wedding or in nearby places but there was transport available for those who needed it.

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

But you responded to my specific post and said "not so much nowadays". I can only reply to that and say it would work just the same.

I guess we must agree to disagree.
It's no big deal.

As a general point

If you want to go you'll find a way

If you don't want to go you'll find a reason not to.

And I am as guilty of that as anyone else.

I do believe we've been here before.

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

I do believe we've been here before.

And you were wrong then!

:D:D:D

:beer::beer::beer::beer: