Money Moral Dilemma: Should I turn down my friend's Italian wedding invite?

bouicca21

For me it would depend on how close a friend and whether language skills were needed. If I went, I’d also book extra days and treat it as a holiday.

Cimscate

You say she is a close friend so have a chat with her explaining how you feel. Being in your own with strangers can be hard work not pleasure but if she is a close friend are you sure you won't know anyone? I would expect you would have met other family members at some stage....you hopefully will find that she recognises the problem and has ideas to help. A good friend will certainly not be will certainly not be offended if you don't go, perhaps you could suggest an alternative get together at a later date.....

brewerdave

If you asking the question ,then you don't want to go and are looking for excuses.

archie1411

If she is such a close friend, I'm surprised you won't know anyone else there - fianc!/her family/mutual friends- and/or are not part of the wedding (bridesmaid etc). However, be that as it may, if you want to go, then go. If you don't, then don't. A really good friend would understand.

mrmicawber

If you can afford it then it's not really a money dilemma.

You seem to see the opportunity from your point of view. For any bride, it's her big day and from her point of view, she wants you there otherwise she wouldn't have invited you. How would you feel if you were in her place?

If you've not got anyone special in your life to take with you why not just go and see what happens? Who knows you might meet someone and the next wedding that your special friend attends could be yours!

Bellisima

I’ve turned down wedding invites abroad in the past, but mainly for financial reasons. If I was on my own I doubt I would go either. I think I would feel so lonely, unless I could bring along a +1 of course! My sister was thinking of having an Italian wedding, but I couldn’t afford it (Amalfi Coast!). She said it wouldn’t be the same without me, so had her wedding in the UK then honeymooned in Italy. Sisterly love! You obviously don’t want to go, so don’t.

AUDITOR

Who makes up these ridiculous questions. If you want to and can afford to, then go. If you can't, then don't. Where's the dilemma?

Jellybean2020

perhaps see if your friend will allow you to have a plus one. It would not be cheeky to ask, and if you put it to her that you might be a bit lonely on the day as you don't really know anyone but her she might be willing to see if you can bring another friend or partner.

alternatively, you could use this as a really great opportunity to make some new friends! meeting new people can be a very nerve wracking experience but if you dont want to ask for a plus one, see if the bride can put you on a table with people she knows you would get on well with so you dont feel too alone!

Italy is a beautiful country so make the most of it - if you can afford it I would go either way but I hope the above options help. Good luck

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

An invitation to a wedding is not a summons to attend, it's not obligatory.

You are at liberty to say 'no'.

MalMonroe wrote: »

If she's a true close friend and you explain how you feel, I'm sure there won't be a problem.

As above - anyone who plans a wedding abroad should realise that not everyone they would like to attend will be able to go - whether for financial reasons or using up holiday days or hating flying or any other reason.

Maat

The first thing I'd ask myself in this situation is how I'd feel a couple of weeks after the event if I'd not gone. If the answer is 'disappointed with myself' or 'I'll never have that chance again now' or similar then you should seriously consider going. If the answer is 'relieved' then you have your solution.



If you do go it should be possible to make it easier for you, though. I'd ask the bride if she has an English speaking relative or friend (assuming your Italian is as bad as mine) who'd be prepared to spend a good amount of time with you. They could introduce you to other people and help you feel less alone there. I'm sure the bride would understand, especially if you gave her plenty of notice. Heck she could probably put you in touch with such a friend beforehand so you got to know the person a little first. If you felt more secure you might find you'd be glad to go after all.

Good luck with your decision.