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My EX is threatening me ...

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Comments

  • pimento
    pimento Posts: 6,243 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Marvel1 wrote: »
    Do not move out until the mortgage is in his name only.

    Also don't forget meter readings with photos.


    Add that you'll move when he delivers your dog back to you.
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
  • lisyloo
    lisyloo Posts: 30,094 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    pimento wrote: »
    Add that you'll move when he delivers your dog back to you.

    Was it established who legally owns the dog?
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I hope we wont end up in court cause thats the last thing i want right now dont think i can deal with anymore stress.
    Then stop thinking about and get on with things. Clearly the breakup was very emotional for you when it wasn't for him so your notion of time is very different to each other hence the conflict. He wants to close that chapter of his life as apt move on, you need time to adjust to it all and make sure you are doing the right thing.

    You will need to find a compromise and this needs to a business one, not an emotional one.

    Him getting in touch with the mortgage company IS a good thing. It means that he's got the wheel in motions to get you remove from it so you can indeed get the money you agree on and be in a position to move. So this is a good thing not something to criticise him about.

    At the same time, you need to move somewhere you are happy with. July or August is more time then would normally be expe Ted to find somewhere new to move, especially as from his perspective, it will be more like 6/7 months from when you broke up. So you need to von Ince him that you are not messing him about trying to delay you moving out and that the plan is sound indeed.

    Most likely, if he is convinced that you do have a firm plan in place to move out this suer, he will resign himself to it. If however you say things but have nothing to show that you are indeed on plan to move 5hen, expect him to continue to put pressure on you.

    Ultimately, the quicker you move out and sign things over, the happier you will both be.
  • pimento
    pimento Posts: 6,243 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    lisyloo wrote: »
    Was it established who legally owns the dog?

    No but the OP has something he (badly) wants by the way he's acting.
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
  • pimento
    pimento Posts: 6,243 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Use the dog as leverage.
    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair
  • lisyloo
    lisyloo Posts: 30,094 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Who bought the dog?
    I really sympathise with your situation, but you need to face legal realities.
    So who paid for it?
  • pelirocco
    pelirocco Posts: 8,275 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    michelechan wrote: »
    What i want is time to look for a new place to move to, and thats all i want - time.
    When i said i need time to move he wont listen but wanted me out by 30 april, i said that is unreasonable and unrealistic. He then kicked off and got very aggressive and threatening me about how he is not going to pay for the mortgage and the house will get possessed and we will both lose out. and he also said financially he is going to be ok with that and will i! It was horrible to hear because he is using his power and Director role earning almost £100k or more than me.
    He keeps threatening me and blackmailing me about this!


    He has no right to ask you to leave until he has bought you out . i.e paid over the agreed amount , taken your name of the deeds and has the mortgage in his name
    You will be in a very vunerable financial postion if you move out before this is done
    Vuja De - the feeling you'll be here later
  • Slithery
    Slithery Posts: 6,046 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    michelechan wrote: »
    He paid for the dog in cash
    And that's all that legally matters. It belongs to him.
  • lisyloo
    lisyloo Posts: 30,094 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    michelechan wrote: »
    He paid for the dog in cash

    I am not a lawyer but from reading the link put up by Chuck Norris the dog is his because he paid. (I know you love the dog but we need to face legal reality here).

    He wants the house, you want the dog and it sounds like what he is offeRing you is reasonable financially(?)

    Talking doesn’t seem to be working and winding both of you up (well him at least) so this is better dealt with formally.

    I would write a formal letter (not sure why you don’t like these when face to face is quite emotional and he’s not dealing with it well because he’s angry).
    Offer to leave and give him when he wants, when financial settlement is reached and the dog is handed over.

    Maybe you should now get a solicitor involved.
  • pelirocco
    pelirocco Posts: 8,275 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    BrassicWoman wrote: »
    That’s really childish. You aren’t anything else to each other any more.

    He sounds to me like he’s simply explaining consequences of your inaction. That’s not threats.

    Just because one person decides to move on , doesnt mean the other person cant write off their feelings
    He has no right to make up the ''consequences of her inaction '' she doesnt have to do anything until he can prove he has the means to buy her out , and as with any house sale you do not let the 'new' owners to move in before they pay
    Vuja De - the feeling you'll be here later
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