Am I being unreasonable? Husband demanding sex!

Grezz24

A relationship should be a shared commitment, yes the sexual aspects are important, but so is the kids and house work etc.

Myself and my wife usually approach things in a joint way, one cooks then the other cleans after. One walks the dog, other baths our son etc.

Id suggest that you look into it that way, its about helping each other out, that way jobs are finished twice as fast and you both have the down time to chill out, which would then lead into a more sexual relationship as you are not rushed off your feet waiting on him.

OscarFoxtrot

Relationships are a constant negotiation between two people.


He's stated his position, you've stated yours. There seems to be no common ground, so time to move on

[Deleted User]

TBH you sound like a single parent household now, just with a lazy lodger in tow.


If it was me he shapes up or gets out the choice is his but for me I wouldn't be prepared to carry on like this.

Pollycat

Sadly, I think where the OP went wrong was to take him back after he 'wanted space' several years ago and then let him slide back into his previous attitude.
During the few months apart, he probably thought 'Jeez! Don't reckon much to this looking after myself malarky, I'll see if I can black my way back in by empty promises that I have no intention of keeping' - unless he stayed with his Mother (who maybe enabled his behaviour through his childhood.

OP - you deserve better and so do your children.

Doodles

It does sound like this relationship has run its course I'm afraid. I think you should start to make plans to move on.

LandyAndy

paddy's_mum wrote: »

It never ceases to amaze me that the male of the species can boast (and have done for centuries) that they are the clever sex, the ones with the technical minds, the inventors of such great things as algebra, aircraft, typewriters, medical advances, telephones as well as the much vaunted rocket science and yet don't know how to do basic Cub Scout stuff such as switch on a hoover.....:rotfl:

Oh! We know how to do it.........

74jax

TyrMorrison said:

Everything will be fine. In any family there are problems no matter which, they are all solved

together. As you said you have kids now and this is a big responsibility. You have to take care of them, cook, clean and so on, and it often happens that you simply can't physically spend time with your partner. When children appear, you have to refrain from some things and in the end a man, even if he is the pillar of the house, he needs love and attention too. Once children appear, this desire to make love disappears more and more. I say that, because it happened to me too, I am a father of 2 children and we rarely make love. Half a year ago I started to lose interest of making love and the thing that we rarely had sex, I ignored my wife more and more, but every problem have a solution you need just solve it together. So I went to the doctor and he recommended me some pills of boosting my sexual life and now we have time for our children and for ourselves too. You can go to a family psychologist. In any case, there is always a way out of the situation.

Note for everyone. 
This is an old post from 2019.

Pollycat

74jax said:

Note for everyone. 
This is an old post from 2019.

Yes - and the OP hasn't logged on to MSE for 5 months.

sevenhills

mojo69 said:

I suppose I have to maybe admit it's the end of the road. I know I'll be ok without him, it's the impact on the kids that'll be hard. They took it bad last time he left, but we were ok after a while.  Thank you for responding, sometimes you just need someone to say it's not you...it's him.

If your finances are secure and you can pay all your bills, then people can always get back together, although it sounds like this relationship is dead, at the moment.

It can take a long time to get back to a happier life, that is what I found.

Pollycat

sevenhills said:

mojo69 said:

I suppose I have to maybe admit it's the end of the road. I know I'll be ok without him, it's the impact on the kids that'll be hard. They took it bad last time he left, but we were ok after a while.  Thank you for responding, sometimes you just need someone to say it's not you...it's him.

If your finances are secure and you can pay all your bills, then people can always get back together, although it sounds like this relationship is dead, at the moment.

It can take a long time to get back to a happier life, that is what I found.

Just to point out that the post you quoted was written almost 2 years ago - March 2019 - and the OP hasn't logged on for 5 months and hasn't updated this thread since March 2019.