Wading In Treacle

catandy

I've been working on OH and been researching balance transfer cards and I've talked him into moving the larger card onto a 0% for 9 months. I've conceded the fact we leave the smaller balance on the existing card and that is cleared asap - like first payday at the new job. payments on % card will be 277 pm minimum to clear it by end of 0% period. That gives me £300 pm left over after all bills/ living expenses are paid which means I can start building an emergency fund.

In return for that OH went for an interview for the job down the road on Friday and should find out tomorrow if he gets it. If he does the majority of his wage goes towards debt repayments and living a tiny bit. Oh and agreement has been made on pay-out from his ex job (if he gets it) - 50% to clearing debts and 50% towards living expenses.

all of the above has lots of ifs and buts and me relying on him to step up and do it. I can but hope and have everything crossed for tomorrow when we find out if he has a job.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have come to a good agreement with OH. Hope he comes through for you.

catandy

OH has arranged to move out at the end of the month - he got offered the job he went for but turned it down saying its not a fit as its too physical and he cannot cope with it and I finally flipped out at him. He's moving in with his youngest daughter and her family and will rebuild his life from there and I will do the same for myself and this time just giving a damn about myself and my sons if they need anything.

I feel numb to it all, sad that 18 years of togetherness came down to this but looking forward to what is next. I've got to get thru next month on just over £800 - the weeks pay I am owed from the job that lasted only a week and a weeks pay from the job I start on Monday but I will do it.

End of April it will start to get a bit easier and then end of May a bit easier again - at least I can see a bit of a future now instead of feeling like I'm buried alive. Time to kick myself up my derriere, pull up my big girl panties and get the hell on with putting my life back together - its more than time for this to happen!

Toni'sfriend

I can totally empathise with you having been in a similar position once myself. Actually after he left I just felt a great sense of relief that I only had myself and my son to think about. I won't pretend that it's easy financially to begin with but you do see light at the end of the tunnel and you do get there. You find you have strength you didn't know you had, Good luck on your journey

anna_1977

I've just read your diary and am sorry to read today's news.
You now need to focus on yourself, stop repaying any of his CC debts and just concentrate on yours.
Best of luck

Silver_Queen

Hi Catandy

Sorry to hear your news. I do think it might be a blessing in disguise, though. Now you can focus on yourself and your sons.

Hope you feel ok x

PositiveBalance

Hi catandy,

I've read your diary from the start and it's quite a tale...

I have a feeling that this is the start of the rest of your life and as Toni'sfriend said it might be a bit tight money-wise to start with but with a little time it will become easier and the sense of relief you will have will be priceless.

All the very best.

*Subscribes*

Kitten868

Hello there,

I was drawn in by the title and really hooked on your story. Is there anything that can break your spirit? You're like superwoman picking yourself up and dusting yourself and doing the next thing. Jumping straight into everything to make it happen. And all that despite having a strength/financial/happiness leach in situ. I'm totally in awe of you. I can't believe how much strength you have.

I'm sorry that hes gone as I know right now its hard and you feel lost. BUT what a relief. For a kick off you've just saved yourself £2k - that pram was going to happen and you know it. I think you need to see this as an opportunity. That move to the coast can happen. Work out what you want then fill in the gaps of making it happen. Could you file for bankruptcy then live with one of your children for a couple of weeks? Or even a hostel?

You can do this!!! Xxxx

Sayschezza

Can't say it came as much of a surprise to be honest.You have done so well to manage so far with so little mental and practical help. I know I would have thrown in the towel a long time before now.
How much of the debt is actually in your name? Anything you can off load onto him indoors then do so. Guess his DD is going to get a big shock when she realises who has been doing the present buying up to now.
Good luck for the future.

liselle

Very best wishes for the future - you're doing so well and have already received so much.
I was in a similar position to you and until someone put it into words, I hadn't thought that I was my OH's enabler.
I never looked back and felt so much better at being in control of my own finances.He always had a plan for money.......