I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

hb2

Mooloo, I'm glad you are going to speak to your GP again. It might be that you are encouraged to persevere with the current meds, or a switch might be indicated. At least you will be able to talk over your concerns.

Regarding the core meeting, I really don't have enough knowledge to comment - other than to suggest that you think long and hard about what you want to do and how you will feel if the results are not what you hoped. Would you beat yourself up for not going? Or would you rest easy knowing that you have already done everything you can? You don't want to anything else to beat yourself up over! (((hugs))).

Of course, I only know what you have told us about the ex - but I do know that a woman who leaves her kids short of clothes, and deprives them of a holiday for no good reason, has no right to be called a Mummy!

Savvy_sewing

Morning.
Taking my tablet at 7pm and going to bed early listening to my hypnosis tape seems to have worked. I was awake and actually pottering just before 6.40 this morning. Mind you the lad waking up and coming in to tell me it's morning probably helped. Dgd has gone off to school, hopefully we will have an accident free week. (Or longer).
DS has left for the school tun and I have 20 minutes to myself. I have called my Seamstress to remind her that I won't be in first thing and that I am going to go to the meeting.
We should be introduced to the new worker anyway.
I am not sure what I can input except the fact that she is using the children as a weapon to get at DS.
And now her determination to transfer here. Apparently her family have helped her clear her half of the rent arrears. (Wonder why they didn't help when I paid off her debts two years ago!?). But they won't pay DSs half. Housing have never come to the meetings even though they are invited.
Right quick potter before I leave.

Savvy_sewing

Well as usual the time for the meeting changed and I wasn't informed until I was there. So I had an hour to hang around. Then the meeting was delayed as the exgf was late so it was nearly 11.30 before we started. Well we started a few minutes before her, but had to repeat it all.
Unfortunately after an hour of her bullsss I had enough, when she was asked how she copes with the children on her own all week she said fine, and I said except Thursday/Friday when she called my son at 1.50am as she couldn't settle the lad and had been drinking! She called me a blatant liar. After already listening to an hour of her changing her answers etc, refusing to compromise or accept any of the professional help I was so frustrated and angry at her I had to walk out, I had enough of her.
The careworker came out for a moment to talk to me, and I was crying, I said that I was not a liar, and that she constantly pesters my son and uses the children like weapons, she said they had asked her why she wouldn't let us take the children on holiday and she had said because she wanted to be the one to take them on their first holiday. She is also apparently exchanging houses with someone in my town! Which is not good for my son. We have asked once again for the professional that my son told about the abuse to fill in the forms we sent 6 weeks ago so he can get legal aid for the private court case, as currently we can't afford the several thousand pounds it is going to cost to take it back to court with legal representation. Either that or I am going to have to try and get another loan or crowd funding or something!? It is rediculous that he hasn't been able to get legal aid so far (only in the plo) which is against the authorities not her.
Right I need to get up and get ready for work as I missed most of yesterday and I am going to be on the back foot today.
Mind you it is still an effort.

hb2

Mooloo, you did well to walk out rather than exploding. I'm not sure I could have kept my mouth shut under that kind of provocation (mind you, I'm not known for keeping my mouth shut at the best of times )!

Of course everything is still an effort. You are keeping so many plates spinning at the same time but that doesn't come without a cost (((hugs)))

pollyanna_26

I'm sorry to read the meeting ended in tears yesterday but well done for attending. You are the voice of reason. Clearly explaining the situation adds to the things that are taken into account when decisions are made on the way forward.


I'm pleased the careworker followed you out and you had a chance to speak of your concerns. One of the reasons for these meetings is to get as clear a picture as possible of the situation and you are giving that as your son ,the little ones and the family are experiencing it.


I'm at a bit of a loss why ds isn't eligible for legal aid .Is it just a lack of action on the part of the person filling in the forms and forwarding them?


It could be worth you going online to law centres network and /or advice now . There's advice there and information on legal matters including family law etc.


Another thought is to check if there are any Pro Bono solicitors and barristers in your area. Many of them will advise and sometimes take on cases for either no or mnimal cost. They tend to focus at barrister level on a specific area of law . If your son no longer has a solicitor it may be a source for further advice.


I would strongly advise you not to seek a loan to fund the case. You can't afford it and really don't need any more worry and stress. The medication is helping reduce the anxiety so work with it and give yourself time to fully get back to you.


Not sure if you're serious about crowd funding but there are identity and safeguarding issues that make that a no in this situation.


If exgf really is moving nearby it opens up a new scenario as if she comes near you or yours it will reinforce harassment and you will be free to phone the police .


I'm glad you found the right time to take the med . As I said previously everyone is different and sometimes it's a case of finding that perfect time without being in zombie mode.


Hope today is going well.
pollyx

Savvy_sewing

No not serious about crowd funding!

Savvy_sewing

I got through the day, but it was a long one. I was very busy contacting all the finished jobs again, trying to get people to collect and get money coming in again. We had a lot of new jobs, cushions, curtains and Roman Blind orders today. So I am going to be busy next week as the Seamstress is going on her holiday now I am back.
The Ex gf has been messaging DS today trying to change the days that they agreed yesterday to drop for the nursery hours.
Then she said that she wasn't going to move here after all. All 3 social people were here this afternoon and so are aware of her actions today as well.
If they recommend she gets custody to the courts I will be flabbergasted.
There are some local bar jobs going here so DS has applied to them all, fingers crossed that he can get more hours and not have to travel so far. It is time for some good vibrations for him.
The baby is running a little temperature and so I picked up Calpol on the way home from the chemist opposite. I will miss that when it moves next year.
I actually did dinner tonight as I wanted the roast chicken to be eaten.
I am still yawning my head off all day though.

pollyanna_26

Good to hear the work is coming in , Blinds and curtains are usually bigger more time consuming jobs so how do they fit around the wedding orders? Hopefully you've got a decent time scale on the latter.


If it wasn't for the fact some of the drop offs are at weekends it would be worth pushing for them to take place at the centre in a neutral space. She's not doing herself any favours trying to change things all the time. If she was ill it would be understandable but it's trying to control in a my way or the highway manner

Add in lying and contradicting herself during meetings she's not showing herself to be polite , caring, capable or concerned with anyone but herself. She's been shooting herself in the foot constantly and to my mind doesn't come across as someone deserving custody. Someone need to get through to her it isn't all about her but two little ones.


I hope your son can get one of the bar jobs nearby . He'll save on fuel etc and be nearer if needed.


Has dgd settled ok back in school and no accidents so far?
The baby may a bit of a chill which the Calpol will sort.


Well try and pace yourself as much as possible. See if you can avoid bringing work home and keep up the early nights. Baby permitting.


Tomorrow is dds face to face PIP assessment attempt 2 . I'll be checking the landline and calling them before we set off to check it will be happening. It's too long and exhausting a journey to be messed around again and isn't helping dds high anxiety etc.
They finally refunded the fares from attempt no 1 last Friday . Not a few days as we were told and one way or another we'll be claiming them back again tomorrow and the refund process will begin again.


Take care Mooloo and those here . I hope things are ok with Beanie . It's odd not to see her pop in and out.
pollyx


Eta I did suspect you were joking about crowdfunding but only just saw your previous post

Savvy_sewing

Good luck tomorrow Pollyanna. X

She has already lost her temper, lied, changed her mind etc in front of the new Social Worker, so she won't be hoodwinking this one.

I have taken my tablet, having a cup of tea and then will retire to bed, listening to my hypnosis tape. It's really helping me.

pollyanna_26

Thanks Mooloo. Just hope they get it over and done. I worked out the claim for taxi fares was posted on the 9th May and the cost was refunded to the bank account on 31st.
dd is lucky not to be struggling without family etc but I feel for those on the breadline waiting for a refund with bills to pay and needing food etc.


Glad the new SW seems to be on the ball . Sounds as though she will be much better and will already have sussed out exgf. Hopefully things will be better managed now and progress will be made.


The hypnosis tape sounds good . Sleep well.
pollyx