I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

Savvy_sewing

Police rang, missed calls as I was in the opticians so got a text to call. With an apology for not turning up today and asking when they can come again Called back and the call centre said that they would try to come tonight, and I said that as it is referenced to last Sunday it's kind of irrelevant now. After 5 days so much as gone on.

tw1nklestar

Might still be worth them visiting as it all goes to build a case I guess. Hope you can get some rest tonight knowing they are all safe. Hope your biggest is doing as well as she can after yesterdays bomb shell. xx I bet you wish you could scoop them all up with your mum also and move to a new safe, secure, warm and happy life in Portugal. But for now take hour by hour (a great suggestion earlier) and take smiles and happiness from where you can.

hb2

Mooloo, what a roller-coaster! I hope the little ones are safe and sound and that everyone sleeps well tonight, all this emotional energy is exhausting!

You have had some great advice from Sue, to just eat that elephant one bite at a time.

Savvy_sewing

Waited up until 10 for the police. Still no show.
Kids were home by 4, and I did cook but neither really ate much, they were eating biscuits in the car when DS finally found them yesterday so I suppose they were eating junk. Neither had shoes or coats and we didn't get back the good clothes we had dropped them off in. Just the clothes they were wearing so after I take stock of what's what today I am going to Banbury to buy what we might need.
Dgd comes home tonight so luckily she missed all the drama.
My brother was amazed at how quickly my son was able to get the court order, and actually so am I. The next job will be the non molestation order.
I won't be back in time for the next appearance in court but DS seems to have handled it all extremely well and I am proud of how he is stepping up to the plate.
With the baby monitor he was up this morning when the baby woke up although he didn't hear the lad coming in to wake me. , because he didn't make a sound until he told me it was morning. We had a few cuddles and tickles and laughs. Although last night he needed quiet a few stories to settle. I don't know if I did right but I introduced the Bag of Worries, book to him. Which Dgd has unearthed and I found by her bed yesterday when I was blitzing. He told me that he didn't want to sleep because of the Monster ( which he actually gave his mothers name too!) I said that he was safe in my house and that I was magic, and I waved my arms, put on a silly voice and banished all the monsters away. He was asleep without anything else and slept all night. Daddy was crying when I went down stairs, as he heard us on the monitor. His friend was also here and was shaking his head. It was quite a moment to hear the lad call the monsters by her name. Obviously I didn't pick up on it, and will be very careful not to mention it with a name. But it is extremely important that we make a note of it, for the health visitors or Nursery to be aware.
So today I am not going to work, I have everything covered, and I will take cuddles and laughter, and we will start to rebuild our defences as we will have a fight on our hands, this is only the beginning.
Biggest was more taken up with our day then saying much about hers. But she has cancelled appointments etc and wants to try to get her hubby to talk about what they will do next. I hope that it's just a midlife crisis for him like the motorbike of his Dad's that he has started to learn to ride.

Let's hope for calm waters today.
My coping mechanism feels very broken. But I know that it's their lives and I cannot do it for them. I have to be strong for them, and listen, but I don't have to fight their battles as if they were my own.
Even though it feels like it at times.

Onwards and upwards we go.
One step at a time. One hour at a time. This hour I am wondering if I can go back to sleep for an hour?

I have lost half a stone this last 2 weeks.
I know that I wanted to loose weight but not through mental exhaustion!

thorsoak

Well done to DS for stepping up to the plate - step one: tick!

I am so glad that DGD has missed all the dramas - it is telling that she had pulled out of all her treasures and gubbins the book the Bag of Worries - it may be that it unearthed some of her bad/early memories. So maybe something to talk to her about after the current dramas die down a bit.

What was DS' friend doing in your house first thing in the morning? Is he there to support DS? Make sure that DS doesn't "open" your haven to one and all in his need for support for him. Maybe time to have a quick chat with him before you go away.

Biggest has got her sensible hat on and, imo, is doing the right thing, trying to talk and sitting tight. As you say, it could well be a mid-life crisis - lets hope so.

Anyway Mooloo, I do hope that you succeed in having a well-deserved break - what will be for other people will be - with or without your presence - just try and relax and let the world revolve around someone else for a change xx

MadamMim2013

Mooloo what a shining example of a truly wonderful person you are.. just reading your last post made my heart ache and I sat and shed a few tears for you all.
The littlies are lucky to have you in their lives and they will be blessed with the love and laughter they so deserve, your strong support and care will also help to heal your DS who, from what I gather has had his soul bashed from the whole experience with her..
Sending much love and some extra strength your way..

Ooh.. please dont forget to show yourself a little kindness too.. x

pollyanna_26

Wishing you all a peaceful day Mooloo . I hope Biggest and her husband can talk and work through any problems. It was so lucky dgd was away and missed a deeply upsetting time . Having the order in place will protect the little ones and if there are any problems they should be dealt with quickly . Although rightly deeply upset your son does seem to be coping . Although the police seem to be messing around the issues will be logged .
Hoping you can get some rest and a chance to recharge your batteries .
pollyx

hb2

Morning all,

I hadn't heard of the 'Bag of Worries' book so looked it up, it sounds as if it could be helpful for the little ones. It's horrible to think of young children going through so much, thanks heavens they have you, Mooloo, as a stable influence. Look at your signature and know that the difference you are making is far from small (((huggs))).

When are you off to Portugal?

Savvy_sewing

Biggest has been on the phone offloading her bag of worries, I can listen.
DS has been to get some food this morning while I have sat with my feet up as baby is asleep, and Dgs 3 is playing toys on the floor.
The friend was here at 7-9 last night, not here in the morning. I know the lad well. He is a good lad.
It is important that DS has some friends as previously he was in with the wrong crowd while with the gf.
Police were on route, but were rerouted as something is going on this way, we saw 3 police cars go by about an hour ago.
I am a little worried that I am coming down with something as my skin is crawling and despite the heating being on I am so cold and I keep getting cramp in my feet. Off to dig out more socks that are warmer.

Savvy_sewing

Ps I go Sunday afternoon and come back Friday night.
Dgd is going to her Mum on Tuesday, so she is going to stay with DS now, but has Biggests as a backup if she wants to.