I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

Savvy_sewing

Not the best night. Everyone was too hot. Baby woke every two hours ish. So I am a bit jaded today.
DS has had to take boys to contact but finally a social worker is supervising. Although they were 35 minutes late getting there.
I had hoped DS would go home and build the beds but he didn't as he said fuel was sparse. Not sure that I would've rather he ask me for fuel and been able to build beds while no children about though!

dreaming

It's cooled down a bit today so hopefully the baby might settle better, but I expect there may be some disruption from the contact. With DS it is probably not wise to "hope" he does what needs to be done. Wihen eldest lived with me (before the ASD diagnosis) I learned to be very specific about what I wanted doing. I could'nt even say "please tidy up a bit" as she didn't/doesn't see untidiness in the same way I do. If I said "can you vacuum", or "please wash the dishes" she was usually happy to do it. I learned later (after the diagnosis) that this is common amongst people on the spectrum. I know your DS hasn't been diagnosed with ASD but to my mind he shows a lot of the traits associated. Hope you don't mind me saying that. Anyway, hope you have a restful weekend.

beanielou

Hope tonight is better.
Hope contact went well.

beanielou

Oh & hope you are shifting lots of stock.
Some of it is lovely.JUst as well I am not nearer :eek;

hb2

It is cooler and more comfortable here today too, I hope the little ones are more settled and allow granny Mooloo to get some sleep!

My son is not on the spectrum but does have short term memory problems. I learned with him (eventually, I'm a slow learner!) that I can't give him a 'to do' list, or a set of complicated instructions. Even now (he's 33) he is better being told, 'please do x and let me know when you have finished' rather than 'will you do x and y please?'!

Savvy_sewing

hb2 wrote: »

It is cooler and more comfortable here today too, I hope the little ones are more settled and allow granny Mooloo to get some sleep!

My son is not on the spectrum but does have short term memory problems. I learned with him (eventually, I'm a slow learner!) that I can't give him a 'to do' list, or a set of complicated instructions. Even now (he's 33) he is better being told, 'please do x and let me know when you have finished' rather than 'will you do x and y please?'!

My girls were diagnosed but not my Son, but I agree with what you said. I have told Dgd to tidy her room or no Xbox for a week and told DS to build the bunk beds or he would loose his Xbox for a week too. As I came to work.
The baby is teething at the back at the moment so bonjela to the rescue.
I have been sorting out the many piles of fabric etc in the workshop today. I now have 3 empty sets of shelves that need to be re homed. I hope that I might get a few £ on a selling site, if not they will be on a freebie one by the end of the month. Local lady's daughter has a shout out for curtain fabrics as she's making bags to fund a school trip so I am sorting some out for her and making clear plastic bags of off cut and remnants that when it stops raining will hopefully go outside and also sell for a few £, or in September they will be donated to the local schools.
I have found a bag of vintage feathers from fascinators or hats that look 1940-50's. Beautiful curled soft feathers and I have not a clue where they came from.
This afternoon I am back to granny duties and tonight I have two extra as Biggest is going out for a meal worth hubby to celebrate their wedding anniversary, a bit late as he was in Canada at the time of it really. So I doubt that I will be good for much tomorrow.
Social Connected Persons team tang me yesterday and are sending the Social worker ( who should have gone, and another one to interview me and assess my life all over again. But the woman asked who lived with me and when I said my Son the children's father she said he won't be allowed to stay with me.
I think we need to get a solicitor on to that, as I think he may not be the brightest tool in the box but he is not going to be a danger to them, and he has given up The whacky backy etc
His problems are not the care of them totally more the inability to provide for them or to see the financial problems and there impact on his ability to care for them.
Although I must agree that if I had to put up with him living with me for the next 16 years I might not feel so easy about it.

I would prefer he stayed and helped me, but I suppose if he can't then they will hopefully help assist him into housing. But someone will have to help him with the money side etc as he really is useless. And if I have to have the children on my own I will not be able to do much work until January when little one starts Nursery.
So 5 months with little or no income will be a different kettle of fish.

Let us hope that I sell off as much as I possibly can this week!!

beanielou

Surely it is a bit late in the day for them to say that you can’t have your DS staying with you.
I find there changing the goalposts all the time quite frightening.
Hope that you can sell lots of stock b

jackieblack

Mooloo wrote: »

This afternoon I am back to granny duties and tonight I have two extra as Biggest is going out for a meal worth hubby to celebrate their wedding anniversary, a bit late as he was in Canada at the time of it really.

Apologies if I’ve missed something... Does this mean that all is fine with them now? Since April’s bombshell was dropped?
(I have been wondering how things were going for Biggest)

NeilCr

Sorry

I am probably going to get crucified for this but you are threatening your grown up son with the confiscation of his XBox?

That's just not right on a number of levels!

surveyqueenuk

Mooloo wrote: »

o much work until January when little one starts Nursery.
So 5 months with little or no income will be a different kettle of fish.

Can you cope with them on your own? Be truthful with yourself. Don't just say "Well, I'll just have to get on with it", can you actually do this alone for the next 16 years?

Do you feel strong enough to call the council's bluff? I can't help but feel you will be left up sh*t creek without a paddle. Do you feel able to say to the social workers: "I cannot do this on my own, financially, physically and emotionally. I will NOT agree to take these boys until funding and support is agreed and put in writing, with concrete dates. Until you can do this, I cannot and will not take these children."

You don't have to mean it, of course but unless you seriously put your foot down and make them act, they won't hurry with anything.