Are we wrong to do this?

kay0601

If you’re keen to be teaching financial responsibility you could try what an ex’s parents did for him. They asked for a percentage of his wages as rent/ food etc but they put it to one side without his knowledge. Throughout his life, his family also had a rule where he had to save half of his birthday/Christmas money. As a result he had £18k in his savings account at 22 to buy his first flat and then they gave him back 5 years of ‘rent’ which went on furniture.

Conversely, my mum was an advocate of using credit cards to make it to the end of the month because it was free money 🤦🏼!♀️ I ended up in a pile of debt before I was 20 thanks to that nugget of wisdom. Combined with being a slow learner, I’m glad I finally learned fiscal prudence or I dread to think what sort of a mess I’d be in now!

Red-Squirrel_2

kay0601 wrote: »

If you’re keen to be teaching financial responsibility you could try what an ex’s parents did for him. They asked for a percentage of his wages as rent/ food etc but they put it to one side without his knowledge. Throughout his life, his family also had a rule where he had to save half of his birthday/Christmas money. As a result he had £18k in his savings account at 22 to buy his first flat and then they gave him back 5 years of ‘rent’ which went on furniture.

I'd be interested to know how he fared financially as an independent adult, because to me that doesn't sound like teaching someone to manage their money that sounds like doing it for them.

How valuable is the lesson if you never even have the chance to make mistakes to learn from?

SandraX

kay0601 wrote: »

If you’re keen to be teaching financial responsibility you could try what an ex’s parents did for him. They asked for a percentage of his wages as rent/ food etc but they put it to one side without his knowledge. Throughout his life, his family also had a rule where he had to save half of his birthday/Christmas money. As a result he had £18k in his savings account at 22 to buy his first flat and then they gave him back 5 years of ‘rent’ which went on furniture.

Conversely, my mum was an advocate of using credit cards to make it to the end of the month because it was free money 🤦🏼!♀️ I ended up in a pile of debt before I was 20 thanks to that nugget of wisdom. Combined with being a slow learner, I’m glad I finally learned fiscal prudence or I dread to think what sort of a mess I’d be in now!

Excellent post, Kay:)

happyandcontented

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I'd be interested to know how he fared financially as an independent adult, because to me that doesn't sound like teaching someone to manage their money that sounds like doing it for them.

How valuable is the lesson if you never even have the chance to make mistakes to learn from?

We did a similar thing with our children and saw it as providing a framework for them rather than doing it for them. As adults, all but one manage their money very well indeed. The one who isn't as good as the others is still what most people would see as reasonably good, in that he pays all his bills by DD first before looking at what is left to spend, doesn't use the credit card he has for 'emergencies' but falls down in the area of regular savings as he is a 'spender!'He has no debt other than a mortgage.

maman

Personally I wouldn't use your DDs Christmas present as a project for teaching financial responsibility. If everyone had needs instead of wants as gifts it would be a very dull world and in any event she's prepared to save her own money to pay the difference so I'd let her go ahead and have the console she's set her heart on.


I have 2 DDs, now grown up. We gave them each an allowance from when they were young teenagers so that they managed all their personal spending.


Incidentally, the only exception to this was school uniform and other expenditure to do with school.


Although brought up together and treated equally, the 2 girls have completely different attitudes to money. One is a saver and buys limited amounts of quality clothes, household goods etc. The other just loves spending and is constantly buying disposable tat both in terms of clothes or for her home. Neither is in any debt so we live with it although we'd prefer that DD2 was a bit more considered in her spending.


My point is that you may not approve of what your DD spends her money on but provided she lives within her means then perhaps that's all you can hope for at this point. Maybe in the new year you could help her set up some sort of savings account but don't be surprised if she then blows her savings on something you don't like.