Are we wrong to do this?

caprikid1

” So what do you and your husband do when you need to use a PC for personal use? Are they PCs supplied by your employer or did you buy them yourself and designate them 'work machines'?"


This has no relevance as to who purchased their machines. They have a responsibility to their clients and the data entrusted to them . Part of that responsibility is ensuring its secure. Not letting children /third parties use these machines is 100% essential and not relevant to this.

Red-Squirrel_2

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Only mine and my husbands work computers which cannot be used due to data protection regulations.

Ok, then as she is still 17 I do think it is up to you to make sure she has access to a computer and the internet for her studies. That's a need.

That could be a basic cheap laptop or a family PC though, no need for it to be an expensive high spec gaming laptop. That's a want.

-taff

Give her what you usually give her and then don't give her anything else. If she needs a new thing, she can save her own money for it.


https://www.t3.com/news/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-buy-a-nintendo-switch-for-christmas

rach_k

I'd get a cheap basic computer for all of your kids to do homework on. If you ask around family and friends, I bet somebody has one they have moved on from they would either give you, or let you pay £50 or less for. You probably only need something capable of browsing and word processing.

Personally, I'd consider that a school expense, but if money is tight I'd take an equal share from the kids' Christmas pressies. If it's only a tenner each, that's not much to lose.

Then I'd give the full amount remaining to my daughter, if that's what she requested. She's old enough to make her own mistakes... and has a job so she's also capable of living with her mistake for a while as she earns more to fix it.

sheramber

She is a PC gamer and has not been able to use her PC for a month as the capacitors gone and the graphics card needs replacing. It basically means her PC is a write off, despite upgrades in 2016

So she doesn't need a PC for anything else ? She has managed to live without one for a month so seems to be managing without one so why does she desperately need a new one?

MortgageMamma

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'm still not decided.

My other children aren't relevant. They are much younger and all get exactly the same money spent, and none of them need or want computers.

When I say she is a gamer, I mean PC gamer. She has never shown an interest in consoles. She has not used her PC for two months due to it being broke, and has been handwriting her college work. However she has assignments over the holidays which mean using a computer.

She earns £140 a fortnight. We do not take a penny off her and still pay for all her clothes, food, transport and college money. She spends her money unwisely and we are trying to teach her to spend responsibly - after all, if we don't do this now what will happen at Uni when we are not there to feed her?

No she cannot use mine or my husbands for data protection purposes. We take our responsibilities very seriously regarding this and the machines are in a separate locked office in the house. We would lose our businesses if there was a breach.

Over the years we have upgraded her computer to a very high specification, obviously at our own cost. We feel she is at an age where she needs to be contributing towards the cost of upgrades, but instead she spends her money on manga comics, sweets, bottled drinks, Mcdonalds and her boyfriend and we wish to show her how to manage her money better. Its not just about saving money for ourselves, its about showing her financial responsibility.

As our children approach 18 (one is 21) as parents we personally expect them to become more independent, do some kind of work, and generally pay for SOME of the things they need/want themselves. When they were younger they would do chores for pocket money and things they wanted. I think this is important as it teaches them the value of money/work ethics and that Mum and Dad will not pay for things indefinitely. These are important life lessons. Our kids have what they need but we do not spoil them or let them have everything they want.

So my point is every family is different - this is my perspective and my family - and I judge nobody for having a different approach and do not expect to be judged harshly myself.

I still cannot find a convincing argument to give her the cash for the ninetendo switch....

happyandcontented

I assume she feels she will 'game' on the switch? Maybe she hasn't missed her PC for gaming?

Re your work computers, I completely understand we have those too, but we also have a laptop for family use and our use. We do not use those machines for anything other than work. Do you not have access to another machine for your personal use such as posting on MSE or are you using the work machine for that?

I would give her what she has asked for after saying that if she needs to use a PC it will have to be done in college or the library or paid for from her own earnings. If she is aware of the consequences then she should be allowed to make her own decisions in the interests of growing up.

Christmas is about what people want, not what they need or what other people think they need!

Red-Squirrel_2

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'm still not decided.

Do you not think its your responsibility to provide a basic PC/laptop for school? She's still with compulsory education age.

Ozzuk

I'd keep it simple, give her the money but let her know you won't be funding PC repairs. IMO she is old enough to prioritise what she needs, if she needs another PC she'll need to save/work more (as above).

pickledonionspaceraider

It seems to me that you are going to end up paying for a lap top anyway, as she will likely need it for college..as she is still in education - and is your duty as parents to provide this equipment


but it also comes across to me that you want to dress it up as a Christmas present to save yourself forking out twice...instead of helping her towards something she really wants


There is no other reason I can think of, where you would give her a present that you know is not what she wants - it is like you have your own agenda - and it isn't about what your daughter wants


This started off as a Christmas present thread, and then quickly turned in to how bad your daughter is at managing money as if that is justification or in some ways related to Christmas


Managing money is a long term lesson for some pple, not a point to prove at xmas