Are we wrong to do this?

Red-Squirrel_2

*Robin* wrote: »

Really?

That attitude says a lot about the moral decline of C21 Western Society.

Blah blah, what’s so terrible about fun?

Midwinter festivals were all about fun long before someone tried to make them all about the baby Jesus!

Kevie192

Access to a computer and the internet is a basic need for any child attending school, college or university. It has been proven that those who don't have this access tend to achieve less and struggle more.

Therefore, it is part of your role as a responsible parent to provide this for your children; unless you don't want them to succeed in life?

happyandcontented

*Robin* wrote: »

Really?

That attitude says a lot about the moral decline of C21 Western Society.

You see I don't think it does. It speaks to me of wanting to please those you love, which is the antithesis of the 'me, me, me' attitude which is prevalent today.

We brought our children up to think carefully about what gifts they wanted and to think about what they buy for others, not to just buy willy nilly. Today, they buy thoughtful gifts for us and for each other, so I don't think our attitude was the wrong approach.

Christmas is supposed to be fun and for many people that isn't always possible because of illness, poverty or bereavement. If you are lucky enough not to have those problems why wouldn't you want to enter into the spirit of giving and make those you love happy?

I agree with those who have said that providing a PC if you can afford it is the responsibility of the parent for school/college age children. Without easy access to one, a child is disadvantaged today.

enthusiasticsaver

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Just want to say thanks to everyone for their perspective. I didn't realise it was the exception rather than the norm for teenagers to have part time jobs. When I was younger we all had them, how times have changed. I guess they were easier to get back then.

My two daughters, now in their early 30s had jobs from the age of 16 which they did on Saturdays and school and university holidays. It taught them to manage money and gave them a work ethic so I think your daughter doing a part time job and earning her own money is great.

Having said that I am not sure I would give her Christmas money and then tell her how it needs to be spent which goes against the spirit of present giving. I realise you have now come to an arrangement with her to buy a PC in the New Year so the problem is in fact resolved.

It is best your daughter makes her financial mistakes now rather than in a few years time when she may have credit cards etc. Financial discipline needs to be learned but some find it easier than others. Getting her in the habit of saving would be a good move.

Savvy_Sue

I think you're wrong to try and teach your DD financial management at Christmas, but definitely NOT wrong to start teaching it all year round. For example:

borkid wrote: »

Slightly off topic I'm surprised you buy your daughter's clothes. When my daughter was about 12 it was always 'I need a new blouse/ skirt....' whatever she wanted. So we made a pact, at the time her eyes lit up, that we would give her the amount of money we saved for spending on her clothes but we would buy school uniform and shoes. It was amazing to see that suddenly she didn't need all the clothes!!!! She's turned into a very canny shopper. We did similar with her brother, he is/ was into designer labels. He would save for months for just one piece of clothing but he would look after it so well. His attention to detail and care as an adult is second to none.

I continued to buy clothes, but then mine were boys and generally weren't fussed what they wore, BUT I did pay an allowance into their bank accounts to cover their travel to school and their lunches. And I expected them to withdraw cash when they needed it, rather than asking me at 11pm on a Sunday night for £20 cash for a weekly bus ticket ...

That worked really well. DS1 made his own lunches at home, so only spent on bus fares. DS2 made his own lunches at home and generally walked (4 miles) to and (4 miles) from school, so spent nothing. DS3 made his own lunches at home, but asked for several months' allowance up front so he could buy a bike and then spent the rest on CDs and clothes I wouldn't buy him ...

I also got them cooking and doing their own washing. Now all fully house-trained ...

steph2901

I'd give her the £150 towards the Nintendo and make sure she understands that you won't be buying her a computer too.

System

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I think you're wrong to try and teach your DD financial management at Christmas, but definitely NOT wrong to start teaching it all year round. For example:I continued to buy clothes, but then mine were boys and generally weren't fussed what they wore, BUT I did pay an allowance into their bank accounts to cover their travel to school and their lunches. And I expected them to withdraw cash when they needed it, rather than asking me at 11pm on a Sunday night for £20 cash for a weekly bus ticket ...

That worked really well. DS1 made his own lunches at home, so only spent on bus fares. DS2 made his own lunches at home and generally walked (4 miles) to and (4 miles) from school, so spent nothing. DS3 made his own lunches at home, but asked for several months' allowance up front so he could buy a bike and then spent the rest on CDs and clothes I wouldn't buy him ...

I also got them cooking and doing their own washing. Now all fully house-trained ...

I wish that kind of parenting worked for me, i;v always been terrible with money. I got acess to my bank account when i was 16 and blew most of it on clothes and I used to get a tenner a week towards dinners when i was in 6th form but quickly figured if i didnt eat i could use it to buy drinks in the pub

Joannas

There is no right or wrong answer. I’d just give her the money and let her buy the switch.

I don’t think there needs to be a household PC either, she’s 17 not 12. DD can just use one in college. A lot of people at university level complete assignments in the library.

charlotte1994

I would give her the money, she has a job and is willing to work for the rest, that's good enough for me! She is probably gutted about the PC but if she works she can probably keep saving up for another one. She will soon realise that she can only have one. It will be a good life lesson but I good on her for wanting to work for something she wants!!

Katapolt

Sorry but you cant give money as a gift but dictate what someones does with it, full stop.

Shes 17, she needs to learn these thingso n her own while she has parents as a safety net, becuase if youre always TELLING her what to do then she wont ever actually learn or understand why is it she has to do things that way.

She earns enough, and is perfectly capable of saving wages to buy a cheap laptop to do coursework on if needed, and she wont need a super reccy PC gaming on if she has a switch anyway.

Let her buy what she wants, she will only buy it herself anyway either way.

If my parents ever told me what i HAD to spend my own money on id have told them in no uncertain terms to get their noses out.