Are we wrong to do this?

MortgageMamma

-taff wrote: »

I'm guessing mortgage advisor, but I could be reading her sig all wrong...



Use their own computers I'd imagine, since they are allowed to see the info on them? With adequate anti-virus measures etc...

I am a mortgage broker. My husband is an IT professional. Obviously we are both skilled in our own ways and our IT is like Fort Knox. Literally. We made the decision only to use our work computers for work, use our phones for browsing and forums. Our teenage son has a gaming computer that he will not share. Our 8 year old has a games console and that's it. There are no other computers or laptops in the house.

We've discussed this again with our daughter this afternoon when she got back in from college. She's agreed she will buy her own laptop with her own earnings in the new year. As she's committed to this, we will help by boosting whatever she has saved by Mid Jan, to take advantage of the January sales. She has also committed to selling the spare parts and case from her old computer. We are not telling her that we will help with costs, otherwise she will think she doesn't have to save for it. Job done!

And to anyone who thinks I'm harsh for not forking out for a new pc/laptop because she's 17 - think again - harsh are those parents who do not buy clothes, sanitary protection and basic essentials for their kids. I just have a different parenting style to you.

Red-Squirrel_2

MortgageMamma wrote: »

What I am trying to say is - am I WRONG to try and teach my daughter financial responsibility in this way?

Honestly?

Yes, I think so.

Red-Squirrel_2

MortgageMamma wrote: »

And to anyone who thinks I'm harsh for not forking out for a new pc/laptop because she's 17

Who said that?

dawyldthing

Same for her wages.

Possibly go through one day with her about how much she will get in loans then how much halls will cost (if she’s going in them) or how much she will need to contribute at home. Then say ‘right this is what is left, and needs splitting between 52 weeks’, but you could save a bit of your wages (say £20 a week) and by the time you go to uni you’ll have another couple of grand for food and activities. As I know when I went to uni (back in 2005) I got just over £6k (I believe they get nearly £9k now) but halls was £90 so didn’t leave me much, but I’d saved up from when I worked at kwik save and got a job at the uni for other bits.

She’s probably enjoying her freedom, boyfriend etc but might need a bit of direction as money doesn’t go far when at uni

Gavin83

Tammykitty wrote: »

I don't think what the OP and her husband do for their personal computing needs is relevant.

Why not? You can't really argue for stringent security and then use the PC for personal tasks. I'd actually argue using a PC for personal tasks is more risky than giving family members access. At least you could create a second account for the daughter and control her permissions, ensuring she doesn't have access to anything sensitive. It's likely that personal browsing will take place on a high level account with less restricted access, could potentially pick up something nasty while browsing/downloading as a personal user rather than a business user.

Tammykitty wrote: »

Many work laptops can be brought home and used for personal use, but not my other people - as its giving out passwords etc, and giving access to information stored on the computer which is work related.

I agree, an employer will likely have their own usage policy, hence my original question.

Tammykitty wrote: »

Or they may have tablets, or just use a phone

Maybe.

However I'm starting to steer this topic off course now so I'll drop it.

Doodles

Give her the £150 for her to put towards the Switch.

Your girl is doing good. She is working hard at college and holding down a part time job. She is doing a lot better than many youngsters. For goodness sake, let her have a little bit of fun in-between!

PrettyKittyKat

Yes I think it is mean to force her to have a 'gift' she needs rather than wants. Get her the Nintendo switch. Then when she is moaning about struggling to do school work and needing a PC point out she will have to use her wages for this.

Personally I hate to buy things that I would 'like' with my wages that are extravagant as I feel like this is wasting money. Instead I use this for 'need' and then don't feel so bad getting extravagant things I 'want' for xmas or birthdays as presents are a treat.

Her college will have computers available to use also so she can start putting some extra time in there to complete her assignments.

Fireflyaway

I can see you are being practical, your suggestions make sense. However Christmas is a time for gifts and nice gestures that you wouldn't otherwise get (unless for a birthday maybe) not necessarily things you need. I need a new oven door but it wouldn't fill me with joy to receive one for Christmas!
Your daughter is working and if she is willing to contribute I think that shows a sense of responsibility and fairness. 17 is still young so I'd give her the gift she wants. She will have plenty of practical Christmases ahead.

MortgageMamma

Just want to say thanks to everyone for their perspective. I didn't realise it was the exception rather than the norm for teenagers to have part time jobs. When I was younger we all had them, how times have changed. I guess they were easier to get back then.

charlieismydarling

If your daughter is like most teens then she would most likely hope that you give the cash and then a few months down the line whine for a new computer .

I make my Ds have things like iPads, computers, phone and the like for Christmas and birthday presents as it’s not my fault that he has expensive taste. However I am tight as a single parent who works very hard for everything and he appreciates that and is happy to have these things in the first place.