Are we wrong to do this?

Lioness_Twinkletoes

MortgageMamma wrote: »

What I am trying to say is - am I WRONG to try and teach my daughter financial responsibility in this way?

Yes. Christmas is about WANTS not NEEDS. It's supposed to be fun, not a life lesson.

SingleSue

A gaming pc is a want not a need. A switch is a want not a need...so no difference really.

If she is choosing to have a Switch over fixing her gaming pc, then that is her choice....she will soon realise the mistake.

For school work, a common cheap secondhand laptop or desktop will do, if your husband builds them, that can be done extremely cheaply and is a need that a parent should be providing (if there is no family pc available).

I'm coming at this as a parent of a gaming offspring. He had access to the family laptop for homework, he decided he wanted something better, he was informed my budget didn't run to something better, so he saved for and built his own but that actually sparked off in him what he actually wanted to be doing in life as he is now at university doing a computer science related degree!

AylesburyDuck

Havnt read the whole thread sorry,
Putting aside what Christmas should be all about, and focusing on what Christmas seems to have developed into, then yes without doubt i think your wrong to think of giving her what she needs as opposed to what she wants.
It's my belief that computers these days are an essential to education, and yes of course we should provide our children with the essentials for education, but not for christmas or birthday, god no.
Your child cant be thinking of education 24/7, its essential that she has downtime as well (unless your of the pushy parent variety) so let her have her switch or whatever it is, because it's Christmas for goodness sake.
It would be like you wanting (for sake of example) a kindle to read books on, and this is something people know you want, however they choose to buy you a new iron because they know yours broke.
Yeah, dont be "that" person!

MortgageMamma

SingleSue wrote: »

A gaming pc is a want not a need. A switch is a want not a need...so no difference really.

If she is choosing to have a Switch over fixing her gaming pc, then that is her choice....she will soon realise the mistake.

For school work, a common cheap secondhand laptop or desktop will do, if your husband builds them, that can be done extremely cheaply and is a need that a parent should be providing (if there is no family pc available).

I'm coming at this as a parent of a gaming offspring. He had access to the family laptop for homework, he decided he wanted something better, he was informed my budget didn't run to something better, so he saved for and built his own but that actually sparked off in him what he actually wanted to be doing in life as he is now at university doing a computer science related degree!

Nice to hear about your sons interest in computer science, its was exactly this scenario that pushed my husband in that direction too. He didn't do a degree or even A levels as his parents didn't afford him that opportunity, but he does alright for himself and then branched out into providing IT support for local companies as well. Good luck to your son, if you enjoy your job its not work most of the time!

MM

*Robin*

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

Yes. Christmas is about WANTS not NEEDS. It's supposed to be fun, not a life lesson.

Really?

That attitude says a lot about the moral decline of C21 Western Society.

tesuhoha

I would get her the Nintendo Switch or give her the money for it. Its her Christmas present and Christmas presents should be personal and what you want to be spoiled with. Its not like you are buying her one randomly.

If you can afford it I would quietly buy a cheap laptop for her studies (as long as you are clear that its not suitable for gaming) and say if she wants to contribute towards the cost of it then she is welcome to. You might be surprised.

I agree with the other poster. It would be like someone buying you a saucepan for Christmas!

tesuhoha

*Robin* wrote: »

Really?

That attitude says a lot about the moral decline of C21 Western Society.

Boo humbug!

Sunshinesally

Hmm it's a tricky one. I would buy a cheap family laptop/pc with windows package etc. I'm not sure how old your younger kids are but as they grow older it could also be used by them also. We've always had a family laptop, my children often get set online homework that couldn't be done on an iPad so it was a necessity. But also for typing letters, saving work, CVs, creating leaflets, power points etc.

Then I'd give her the £150 to spend as she pleases.

tesuhoha

If this is any help I have been quite soft and indulgent towards my kids regarding money as they grew up, although they only ever got gifts at Christmas and birthdays. If they needed something for school, however, I would always fork out for it.

Nowadays neither of them will ever take a penny off me, my son doesnt even want me to buy him Christmas presents! In the past if I have given them a loan for something both of them have paid back every penny.

I think your daughter is intelligent and will work out how to manage her money.

borkid

Slightly off topic I'm surprised you buy your daughter's clothes. When my daughter was about 12 it was always 'I need a new blouse/ skirt....' whatever she wanted. So we made a pact, at the time her eyes lit up, that we would give her the amount of money we saved for spending on her clothes but we would buy school uniform and shoes. It was amazing to see that suddenly she didn't need all the clothes!!!! She's turned into a very canny shopper. We did similar with her brother, he is/ was into designer labels. He would save for months for just one piece of clothing but he would look after it so well. His attention to detail and care as an adult is second to none.


For xmas and birthdays we used to do a combination of want and need. Also if they wanted something large mid year they would save up from their Saturday jobs and we would often give them half the money.