Medical Expenses: Brother Very Ill in Thailand

mrschaucer

This is info from a Thai expat site re healthcare costs:
http://www.expatarrivals.com/asia-pacific/thailand/healthcare-thailand

"Health insurance in Thailand
Expats are required by law to have health insurance if they are working in Thailand. Legally-working expats qualify for social security which is funded by a monthly salary deduction of 5%. Social security holders get free consultations and medication, but consultations are usually very brief and medications limited to generics. Expats are assigned a particular hospital - if needing to go to another, treatment is not covered.

Some expats opt instead for private health insurance, which provides access to an excellent standard of care at a range of private facilities. If choosing this route, there are international companies that can provide health insurance for expats in Thailand.

It is often best to get in-patient insurance as the basic minimum and then get out-patient cover as an addition if it is necessary. Out-patient treatment is so affordable in Thailand that only getting out-patient insurance is somewhat pointless."

It does sound as if the hospital is concerned about payment, so it is likely that either the brother is working illegally and not paying his social security or he hasn't bothered to get insurance.

humptydumptybits

missprice wrote: »

And apparently not once in 20 years has the brother got in touch, no cards at Christmas, birthday, Easter, Hanukkah, Yom Kippur, Chinese New year.

I would hate for one child to be in penury, possibly have to sell a house and be officially homeless to help another who has proved he does not care. Or even just give A chunk of money to an estranged sibling.
I didn't bring up my kids to be dependent on anyone else but themselves.

I don't think either brother made an effort. We don't know how things happened when the mother died. Every one is assuming the OP was in the right with selling the house but there are ways of doing things. Their mother had just died and one brother was also losing his home, did the OP give him a reasonable time to move out or did the brother arrive home from his mother's death bed and discover a for sale board in the front garden? We only have one side of the story.


I do know someone who arrived at their mother's house the day she died to discover a sibling there with a van removing everything of value, even if it was very little value.



You sound very proud that you apparently brought your children up to be totally selfish and self centred. Well done you.

humptydumptybits

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

But it's not about what their mother wants. The jailed brother wanted no contact and that's what he's getting. Mother's wishes don't override everyone else's wishes.

I haven't said a mother's wishes override everyone else's wishes. I said as a mother I would be disappointed if one of my children did that to one of their siblings.

missprice

humptydumptybits wrote: »

You sound very proud that you apparently brought your children up to be totally selfish and self centred. Well done you.

You get that from self sufficiency?
Ok well your not my mother so what you think means nothing.

I know your not my mother cos she died well before she could make me self sufficient. Growing up without parents makes one very self sufficient, there is no one to help.
What if OP had died, was suffering with Alzheimer's, was unable in any other way to help. Who would sort out Thai brother then?

Nicki

humptydumptybits wrote: »

I haven't said a mother's wishes override everyone else's wishes. I said as a mother I would be disappointed if one of my children did that to one of their siblings.

Did what exactly?

Broke off all contact for 20 years and then got back in touch to demand that the brother who is retired on a small pension with only modest savings pays over a large sum of money for medical bills?

There isn’t a money porridge pot here. The OP is not still working and so any money he has put aside is for his own medical care/care needs in old age. Exactly why should the OP be prevented from accessing the care he may need in his old age just because his brother didn’t make provision for himself?

It was the brothers choice to become estranged and the OP says that he is not a wealthy man. Giving in to the demands will cause him real hardship and he has no moral obligation to do this if he doesn’t want to. It would be exceedingly generous of him if he volunteered to.

candygirl

I don't understand how anyone could expect the OP to help his Brother.He hasn't got a relationship with him any more, nor the financial means to do it
If it was my Brother , I'd try to help in any was possible, but am in no position to help out financially

gilett

candygirl wrote: »

If it was my Brother , I'd try to help in any was possible

My point exactly, you'd at least try but the op doesn't seem to even want to do that much. There could be other ways of securing funding but It's not even about money. It's about flesh and blood. Thats what I find so callous about it and I'm more surprised none of the rest of you find the ops approach somewhat callous.

Surely you'd at least TRY to do something?

gilett

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

But it's not about what their mother wants. The jailed brother wanted no contact and that's what he's getting. Mother's wishes don't override everyone else's wishes.

Has it occurred to you the jailed brother might have asked the foreign office to contact his family in the uk because he knows he's gravely ill and wants them to help him?

OldMusicGuy

gilett wrote: »

Surely you'd at least TRY to do something?

In the case of a sibling in my family, no. This sibling in question has a long history of selfish decisions that have seriously hurt other people and also thrown away their own financial security (which a partner of theirs worked very hard to give them). This sibling has never done anything for anyone except themselves and does not lift a finger to help their ageing parent. If it was them in this situation, I would not provide any help.

People need to earn the respect of others if they expect to be bailed out like this. Flesh and blood means nothing IMO. However, we don't really know in this case how bad the situation is, but there are plenty of family situations where relationships are quite toxic.

gilett

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

In the case of a sibling in my family, no. This sibling in question has a long history of selfish decisions that have seriously hurt other people and also thrown away their own financial security (which a partner of theirs worked very hard to give them). This sibling has never done anything for anyone except themselves and does not lift a finger to help their ageing parent. If it was them in this situation, I would not provide any help.

People need to earn the respect of others if they expect to be bailed out like this. Flesh and blood means nothing IMO. However, we don't really know in this case how bad the situation is, but there are plenty of family situations where relationships are quite toxic.

I get that, but I still find it all rather cold.