Medical Expenses: Brother Very Ill in Thailand

Mojisola

You can name anyone you want as your NHS NOK - it doesn't have to be a blood relation.

moneyistooshorttomention

Mojisola wrote: »

You can name anyone you want as your NHS NOK - it doesn't have to be a blood relation.

What is the purpose of naming someone as NOK? What might the NHS do with that information?

Flugelhorn

Guidance on consent in the UK for people who cannot consent themselves

The scope of treatment in emergencies
79
When an emergency arises in a clinical setting and it is not possible to find out a patient’s wishes, you can treat them without their consent, provided the treatment is immediately necessary to save their life or to prevent a serious deterioration of their condition. The treatment you provide must be the least restrictive of the patient’s future choices. For as long as the patient lacks capacity, you should provide ongoing care on the basis of the guidance in paragraphs 75–76. If the patient regains capacity while in your care, you should tell them what has been done, and why, as soon as they are sufficiently recovered to understand.

Making decisions when a patient lacks capacity
75
In making decisions about the treatment and care of patients who lack capacity, you must:

make the care of your patient your first concern
treat patients as individuals and respect their dignity
support and encourage patients to be involved, as far as they want to and are able, in decisions about their treatment and care
treat patients with respect and not discriminate against them.

treat patients with respect and not discriminate against them.
76 You must also consider:

whether the patient’s lack of capacity is temporary or permanent
which options for treatment would provide overall clinical benefit for the patient
which option, including the option not to treat, would be least restrictive of the patient’s future choices
any evidence of the patient’s previously expressed preferences, such as an advance statement or decision
the views of anyone the patient asks you to consult, or who has legal authority to make a decision on their behalf, or has been appointed to represent them
the views of people close to the patient on the patient’s preferences, feelings, beliefs and values, and whether they consider the proposed treatment to be in the patient’s best interests
what you and the rest of the healthcare team know about the patient’s wishes, feelings, beliefs and values.

Doody

You might get some advice and translation help from this organisation https://www.prisonersabroad.org.uk/

For what it's worth, if you and your brother do not have a loving sibling relationship, there is no need to feel guilt tripped by anyone saying you have an obligation just because of shared DNA.

unholyangel

gilett wrote: »

This all sounds rather callous to me. Wouldn't it be ironic if the sibling who forced the estranged brother out of his home because they wanted their share of the cash was now forced to sell up to pay for his treatment?

He's your brother for God's sake.

Brother cuts off all contact because OP didn't give in to his wants - wants which only benefited one brother at the cost of the other....yet OP is the callous one?

Wheres the "he's your brother" attitude towards OP's brother for being selfish and wanting to act in a manner where one of them receives the benefit of the inheritance of both?

elsien

Next of kin is NHS speak for "we'd like a point of contact for if things change so we've got someone to talk to if we need to, and to inform if they die so we've got someone to give the death certificate to. We'd like to know who you want that to be do we can be careful about confidentiality."

If someone has capacity they make their own decision. If they don't then NOK cannot make decisions unless they have power of attorney.
You do still get some professionals saying they need the NOK to make the decision. Without power of attorney that is unlawful - they are consulted, that is all.
And other family members/friends can also be consulted in a best interests decision regardless of whose name is on the form.

moneyistooshorttomention

That makes sense to me Elsien:T

That just leaves the thing about one can't name someone as NOK (be they relative or close friend) anyway if they might try and make a different decision on your behalf.

My own decision, for instance, if there was a "die peacefully or have some further treatment" decision on myself would most definitely be to "die peacefully". If I had named my best friend as NOK, for instance, I would be surprised if she respected that decision (as she believes so strongly in the "sanctity of life" anyway that her "life or death" decisions are the polar opposite to any I would ever make personally).

I have a feeling it's time the NHS amended their procedures on this somewhat for people generally.

Certainly a frequent radio advert for the Welsh section of the NHS is one asking people to make their own decisions quite plain personally re organ donation - so that their "nearest and dearest" don't countermand what they would want personally if it came to it.

elsien

Make an advanced decision or power of attorney. Then it's academic what your NOK thinks. But when being consulted they would be asked what your own previously expressed wishes/preferences were, not making the decision. If someone is a good friend they should not lie about that regardless of their own beliefs.

It also stops situations like a relative whose ex husband that she couldn't stand and hadn't seen in donkeys years turned up trying to make decisions for her. In that case there was a power of attorney but the hospital hadn't been informed.

humptydumptybits

gilett wrote: »

I disagree. I actually find it a bit disturbing. My mother would turn in her grave if this were my brother and I were on here quibbling like this while he's dying in the Bangkok Hilton.

On the surface it's shamefully.

As the mother of grown up sons I'd be devestated too.

Doody

humptydumptybits wrote: »

As the mother of grown up sons I'd be devestated too.

Well, yes. I'd be very sad if my children had fallen out like that. But it's their lives, not their parent's