Medical Expenses: Brother Very Ill in Thailand

Marisco

Pollycat wrote: »

And this may be part of the reason why our opinions differ.
Also from the other thread:


Why would my Mother be disappointed?
I'm a grown woman. I've already said that I don't feel any obligation to any of my family simply because they are family.

But were I in the circumstances the OP is in, my Mother would understand very well.
One of my siblings is estranged from the whole family - including my Mother - and has been for some years.
My Mother would not expect me to help in any way.

Quite. I know what my kids are like, it would upset me, I think that's natural, but I would also understand the reasoning behind the decision.

Gavin83

humptydumptybits wrote: »

I wasn't thinking of the house I was thinking of one child seriously ill in a foreign hospital and their siblings not doing anything to help them.

What do you suggest the sibling does to help them in this situation? Pay what is likely to be an extremely substantial medical bill they clearly can't afford?

Also, people keep talking like they're best friends here. They're not, they haven't spoken for 20 years, they're strangers.

Pollycat

Gavin83 wrote: »

What do you suggest the sibling does to help them in this situation? Pay what is likely to be an extremely substantial medical bill they clearly can't afford?

Also, people keep talking like they're best friends here. They're not, they haven't spoken for 20 years, they're strangers.

But...but...but...they're brothers...:whistle:

humptydumptybits

Gavin83 wrote: »

What do you suggest the sibling does to help them in this situation? Pay what is likely to be an extremely substantial medical bill they clearly can't afford?

Also, people keep talking like they're best friends here. They're not, they haven't spoken for 20 years, they're strangers.

He could at least find out if his brother can have the medical treatment without his consent. He doesn't know that agreeing would cost him a penny so he could be refusing life saving treatment that wouldn't cost him anything.

humptydumptybits

Marisco wrote: »

As a mother, yes I would be upset. However, as a mother I also know what my kids are like, I presume this mother did also. If she knew (or guessed) one sibling would be liable to kick off, then she should have done her will in such a way that it would not have occured.

But again that is focusing on something that happened 20 years ago. The man is seriously ill now. Would you want one of your children to step in if the other child's life depended on it?

sheramber

It doesn't read as of the brother is not receiving medical treatment . He is as he is hospital in ICU. They can operate the same way as they have given him treatment him so far.

He chose to live illegally in a foreign country by overstaying his visa- presumably by many years.

He must have been earning an income on some way but did not make any provision for medical treatment.

He gave no thought to what would happen of he became ill.

He is an adult and made his lifestyle choices.

The OP is just as entitled to make her lifestyle choices.

The OP cannot pay money she has not got nor should she get into debt or sell her house to pay his bills.

Do not confuse the relationship between loving siblings and estranged siblings.

missprice

humptydumptybits wrote: »

But again that is focusing on something that happened 20 years ago. The man is seriously ill now. Would you want one of your children to step in if the other child's life depended on it?

And apparently not once in 20 years has the brother got in touch, no cards at Christmas, birthday, Easter, Hanukkah, Yom Kippur, Chinese New year.

I would hate for one child to be in penury, possibly have to sell a house and be officially homeless to help another who has proved he does not care. Or even just give A chunk of money to an estranged sibling.
I didn't bring up my kids to be dependent on anyone else but themselves.

Pollycat

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

If I was a mother, I'd be more disappointed in the son who acted selfishly, cut off his brother, then landed himself in jail, rather than the one who's just got on with his life and respected his brother's wishes to live separate lives.

Great point. :T

Gavin83

humptydumptybits wrote: »

He could at least find out if his brother can have the medical treatment without his consent. He doesn't know that agreeing would cost him a penny so he could be refusing life saving treatment that wouldn't cost him anything.

As others have pointed out, it appears he's receiving medical treatment, although I'm surprised by this as I assumed Thailand was one of those countries where they wouldn't treat you without up front payment. I suspect, like the OP did that the contact is more about money than consent. I think the most the OP should be doing is speaking to a solicitor, ideally one who has an understanding of Thai law (ideally Thai themselves) and finding out if they'd have any liability by getting involved. However I don't think they should be under any obligation to do so.

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

But it's not about what their mother wants. The jailed brother wanted no contact and that's what he's getting. Mother's wishes don't override everyone else's wishes.

This is a fair point. The brother has made it clear he doesn't want contact, surely it's disrespectful and dismissing his feelings if you go against this?

Tammykitty

I wouldn't say I am estranged as such from my brother - but we definitely aren't close - we only see/hear from each other when he visits or phones my parents and I happen to be there.


However, if my parents died, and we jointly inherited their house and sold it - I think I would happily use the amount I inherited from my parents to help my brother out in dire circumstances - as if they were still alive it is what they would have done.


However, as long as the OP's brother is getting medical treatment, what does her signing a document possibly making herself liable for his treatment actually achieve?


In the OP's position I would be getting the document translated, and perhaps hiring a translator for a few hours to talk to the Thai hospital/officials and/or their brothers friends.