Housekeeping money from partner?

Grezz24

I earn more than my wife, who works part time and looks after our son the rest of the time while im at work.

We class all money as equal as while my wife isn't working full time she is doing something far more valuable in raising our son. All money goes to a joint location where we each take the same spending money for our hobbies then the rest is fully joint.

Id suggest you look at that option where you get a joint account for everything other than personal spends, and each take an 'allowance'

ViolaLass

Haven't read all posts - has anyone else mentioned that £500 pw is £24k a year, which shouldn't mean anything is lost due to child benefit. It also isn't that much to be earning. Even if the £500 is post tax, the pre-tax income is something like £35k, isn't it? Still not enough to lose income due to child benefit. Don't you start losing that at £50k? If he's earning that, where's the rest of the income going?

candygirl

Grezz24 wrote: »

I earn more than my wife, who works part time and looks after our son the rest of the time while im at work.

We class all money as equal as while my wife isn't working full time she is doing something far more valuable in raising our son. All money goes to a joint location where we each take the same spending money for our hobbies then the rest is fully joint.

Id suggest you look at that option where you get a joint account for everything other than personal spends, and each take an 'allowance'

That's exactly how a family should work , n it's lovely how you appreciate the important job your wife's doing

pjcox2005

I'm glad you got talking and hopefully can find a resolution.


Interesting thread as it does feel like a lot of unconscious bias feeds into the replies. I don't know the situation but suggestions like he's maximising the benefit to him by having kids over during the week (reducing payments) and then not looking after them seem off. I would expect the normal assumption should be that he's probably not thrilled about working a night shift and missing out on seeing his kids for more time.


Also, agree with poster above, it doesn't feel like you'd have alot of change from a combined £700 pw to house and feed seven people so if those incomes are correct then he may not have as much spare money as you think. Also, I'd be careful on points like tell him to leave, as I'd expect trying to support 4 people on one wage (even with benefits) and restrictions on childcare could be even harder.


I do personally agree though that ideally finances are pooled and you all work together even if that means changing who works when.

maman

candygirl wrote: »

That's exactly how a family should work , n it's lovely how you appreciate the important job your wife's doing

Spendless wrote: »

There's been plenty of threads on here where people don't agree, they have their own money and don't share. There was one recently but I can't remember what the exact scenario was (I'm tempted to say it was a MMD but they are normally so stupid I don't think it was). It does indeed put a non working or reduced working spouse/partner in a vulnerable position.

I didn't read that particular thread as I try to avoid the MMDs but there have been many similar ones over time.


I respect your opinion that it's how a family should work but that's not everyone's opinion.


I haven't read all this current thread as the title put me off. From what I've seen the gist of it is about what's been agreed (or in this case not agreed) rather than assumed and is now close to being resolved because the two parties are talking about it.


Surely rather than assume a one size fits all blue print for a family/family finances it should be tailored to the individuals concerned. In the current case the dad wishes he didn't have to work so much and the mum wants to work rather than be stuck at home with all the children. They're talking, they'll resolve it.




Conversely, I've often read of cases where the dad would love to be at home a bit more but he has to work long hours to support someone who's chosen to be a SAHM. This is as bad to me as the women who say something like he won't let me work as he's the breadwinner or describe themselves as housewives. :mad:


We're all different. I heard Martin on the radio recently saying that having separate finances and then perhaps a shared pot for household expenses was increasingly common. His reasoning was that people who've been financially independent for years don't like joint accounts as it feels like a backward step.

sheramber

ViolaLass wrote: »

Haven't read all posts - has anyone else mentioned that £500 pw is £24k a year, which shouldn't mean anything is lost due to child benefit. It also isn't that much to be earning. Even if the £500 is post tax, the pre-tax income is something like £35k, isn't it? Still not enough to lose income due to child benefit. Don't you start losing that at £50k? If he's earning that, where's the rest of the income going?

the OP said the child benefit had been reduced due to his earning last year. Presumably , his income last year was more than his income this year.

newbutold

sheramber wrote: »

the OP said the child benefit had been reduced due to his earning last year. Presumably , his income last year was more than his income this year.

I would think it is the child tax credits that have been reduced not child benefit.

74jax

newbutold wrote: »

I would think it is the child tax credits that have been reduced not child benefit.

When my now husband moved in with me my child benefit reduced in the first year then stopped altogether in the 2nd year due to his salary. It could be child benefits she means.

Teacher2

Either all of your money is pooled and shared or you start charging a going rate for the school runs. I paid £70 a day for my two to be dropped off and looked after until I could pick them up, twenty years ago. If he doesn’t want to cough up tell him you are forced to discontinue the school runs so you can get a job to stay solvent.

This man is taking the mickey.

jackieblack

Teacher2 wrote: »

Either all of your money is pooled and shared or you start charging a going rate for the school runs. I paid £70 a day for my two to be dropped off and looked after until I could pick them up, twenty years ago. If he doesn’t want to cough up tell him you are forced to discontinue the school runs so you can get a job to stay solvent.

£70 a day just for school drop off & pick up and a couple of hours after school care?£350 a week? :eek: