Life changing issue and I do not what to do

charlotte1994

thorsoak wrote: »

Yes - it was suggested ....but I find it sad that today, sex comes before a relationship, before trust has been shared - but there again, I'm old :cool:

So I didn't make it up :-) not saying it does, but personally sex is a huge part of a relationship, obviously it's not the same for everyone but suggesting that someone just stops having sex is insane to me lol

charlotte1994

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Its supposed to stop you ovulating, if you're still having regular true periods maybe it isn't working properly. I know some women get a bit of spotting but most I know on it (including myself) get nothing.

nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/contraceptive-implant/

"Your periods may become irregular, lighter, heavier or longer.
A common side effect is that your periods stop (amenorrhoea). It's not harmful, but you may want to consider this before deciding to have an implant."

The tracker tells me when I'm likely to come on, it's not completely accurate but I've found that it's a good guess. Also you can still have a period without ovulating, it's not the same thing!

Primrose

My first reaction on readingnthis, as a female, was to wonder why on Earth she waited three months to tell you she was pregnant. It does rather seem she may have wanted to,present you with a fait accopli.

My second reaction is to wonder why, if you had no intention of wanting a child as the outcome of your relationship you didnt take your own precautions but you have learnt that lesson now and must move on.

I really suspect this woman planned this. You are right not to trust her. If she's planning to go public on social media, you may just have to take the hit and thank your lucky stars you're not going to marry her or move in with her because you can already see what kind of miserable life you would live and the type of behaviour she,s capable of.

However there is still an innocent child arriving at the end of all this unless she decides to have an abortion or you demand a paternity test and discover the child is not yours . You may have to swallow your distrust and try again to have a rational conversation with her about the way forward.

Just remember that if you, inthe future, meet the love of your life and want to marry her and have a child , the fact that you walked away from one child may always leave her with a niggling doubt in her mind that you might be capable of doing it again.

I would give bedrooms a very wide berth until you have sorted this one out.

Slashy

This seems to have happened really quickly - she called you yesterday. It's been 24 hours and she's already threatening you and you've handed in your notice? You've already discussed paternity tests and financial arrangements?

I hate to say it but are you 100% sure she's actually pregnant? Have you seen a positive test or a scan picture?

Slashy

Also, can you clarify? Your OP says

The situation gets worse as we worked together so I resigned a few weeks ago just to avoid the both of us get sacked. At this point, I feel betrayed by her decision of not telling me that she stopped taking the pills, especially that I asked each time and trusted her.

But today you say

She told me this over the phone yesterday out of blew.

So your resignation had nothing to do with the possible pregnancy?

Username91

Slashy wrote: »

This seems to have happened really quickly - she called you yesterday. It's been 24 hours and she's already threatening you and you've handed in your notice? You've already discussed paternity tests and financial arrangements?

I hate to say it but are you 100% sure she's actually pregnant? Have you seen a positive test or a scan picture?

I resigned weeks ago because someone was about to disclose that there is something between me and her, I had no idea of her being pregnant at that point and I did resign thinking that this way we won't get sacked. She is pregnant, when she called me I was driving and stopped at the nearest Sainsbury and bought a pregnancy test and then went to her house and she did it straight away and came down with it. Hiding it from me for at least 2 months makes terrifies me as she can be capable of this. After one month she probably knew she is pregnant and decided to tell me nothing.

Username91

Slashy wrote: »

Also, can you clarify? Your OP says




But today you say



So your resignation had nothing to do with the possible pregnancy?

The resignation had nothing to do with her being pregnant, I had no clue about this until 2 days ago. I resigned because what was going on between me and her has been discovered. In my company that goes under gross missconduct as it might be a conflict of interest, me paying her line manager and responsible with her payroll

Username91

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

Is she a time traveller from the 1940s? Why would you care if she told everyone she's pregnant? They're not going to force you to live with her either. You'd just tell them that you want to be involved and intend to pay financial support, but she's trying to blackmail you into a relationship. She sounds like a rather odd duck.


BTW, if you're certain that you don't want (more) children, have you thought about having the snip? (Although, to be honest, if you weren't in a serious relationship with her, you should have been using condoms anyway. They don't just protect against pregnancy.)

Do not get me wrong, I don't care and this is just raising more suspicion around how she pre planned this. Why would you try anything you can to threaten someone. If it genuinely happened and it was a mistake then:

1. Why she told me after 3 months (As a woman after 1 month at the latest I think you try to see what's wrong)
2. Why she offered me 2 choices all in or all out
3. Making empty threats sound desperate to me so once again, I don't care if she goes on live television, it just makes me be more surprised that she can be like that.

Fireflyaway

The fact she didn't tell you until 3 months pregnant makes me believe she isn't that bothered about what you think. I remember finding out I was pregnant, the hours dragged until my husband came home that night. I couldn't wait to tell him he was going to be a father!
The demands and smirking makes me think she did trick you and doesn't respect your feelings. Maybe she was banking on you coming round to the idea.
As others say, don't make any important decisions until you are a bit calmer. Don't let her push you around and dictate what you must do.
I worked with a woman who set out to trick someone into getting her pregnant. I felt sorry for the guy but sorry that the child had purposely been denied a dad because the guy didn't have anything to do with the baby. Even though shocked and upset you have set your mind to support the child. That's pretty cool.
I'd seek legal advice because it sounds as though she might make it hard for you to have contact with the child. It would be sad for the child to grow up wrongly thinking you don't care.
Whatever happens I'm sure you will find a way forward. Maybe there is a support group for single dad's that might help?

Mojisola

Username91 wrote: »

Then I found another useful link saying that for £89 you can get a paternity test done at home, you get the kitt and everything.

That will put your mind at rest that the child is definitely yours.

If the dna isn't a match and she still tries to get you to pay maintenance, you will need an official test done which is more expensive.