Life changing issue and I do not what to do

Username91

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

What's more alarming is that MITSTM is a woman.

I wonder how she'd feel about a third party having such expectations about her body and choices?!

This sounds made up to me anyway. I don't believe for a second that the OP is so completely irresistible that a co-worker concocted this scheme to trap him into a relationship. Women just don't do that. Convenient that if he doesn't move in she apparently will reject all financial support as well as contact.

I am not sure based on which grounds you say this is all made up. Do you think it is something I am comfortable with and can make up things like this because I enjoy?

She gave me the two options and there is no middle ground, I tried talking to her for hours. She knows that I will not run away and try to avoid responsibilities so probably she gambled that thinking that I will move in and compromise my freedomg and be with her against my desire for the sake of the child.

"Women just don't do that" I am dissapointed by your view which is biased

charlotte1994

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

You shouldn't be having a natural cycle on the implant.

I don't but I have an app which is very helpful (:

onomatopoeia99

Username91 wrote: »

Hi and thank you for your reply

I work as a hotel manager and she is a supervisor. It states clearly in the policy that a personal relationship which may cause a conflict of interest is considered as being gross missconduct.

Now someone find out about it and I decided to resign before we would both loose our job based on that. The company does not tolerate anything like this I know for a fact.

The UK is a member of the Council of Europe and signatory to the ECHR which provides the right to a private and family life. This includes keeping your family life private from your employer.

The question becomes, what "conflict of interest" does the relationship create? Further, the employer should have a procedure to resolve the conflict, e.g. moving one party to a different department. Just firing people for having a relationship has the possibility of landing the employer in trouble in court if challenged.

Talk to your union.

charlotte1994

spadoosh wrote: »

They didnt say that did they?

They said if you dont want children you need to be particularly careful about casual relationships and contraception that is known not to be 100% effective.

Why did you make your posts about you and your decision not to have children?

You literally created the thing you wanted to be offended by.

I'm just saying that I understand where he's coming from, I don't think that you should have to sacrifice your sex life because you don't want kids! I'm just trying to be sympathetic, I can't imagine being forced into parenthood Sadly some women do trap their boyfriends/partners into family life, it's not on.

Comms69

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

The UK is a member of the Council of Europe and signatory to the ECHR which provides the right to a private and family life. This includes keeping your family life private from your employer.

The question becomes, what "conflict of interest" does the relationship create? Further, the employer should have a procedure to resolve the conflict, e.g. moving one party to a different department. Just firing people for having a relationship has the possibility of landing the employer in trouble in court if challenged.

Talk to your union.

Its too late. The OP resigned.

Red-Squirrel_2

charlotte1994 wrote: »

I don't but I have an app which is very helpful (:

Eh? What is the app tracking then? The implant stops your cycle so you don't get pregnant.

Red-Squirrel_2

Username91 wrote: »

I am not sure based on which grounds you say this is all made up.

Lots of people enjoy making up stories, sometimes they do it on internet forums to stir things up and get a response.

Just doesn't sound realistic.

What is her motivation in all this? She wants to bring up a child with no practical or financial support from the father? Or she wants to raise a child with a man who doesn't love her that she had to force in to it?

spadoosh

charlotte1994 wrote: »

I'm just saying that I understand where he's coming from, I don't think that you should have to sacrifice your sex life because you don't want kids! I'm just trying to be sympathetic, I can't imagine being forced into parenthood Sadly some women do trap their boyfriends/partners into family life, it's not on.

No one thinks or has suggested you should sacrifice your sex life if you dont want children though, you made it up.

Username91

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Lots of people enjoy making up stories, sometimes they do it on internet forums to stir things up and get a response.

Just doesn't sound realistic.

What is her motivation in all this? She wants to bring up a child with no practical or financial support from the father? Or she wants to raise a child with a man who doesn't love her that she had to force in to it?

I wish that would be the case. I wish that my next post would be sorry, was fooling around but not it's not. My reality is the one I wrote about and it is so traumatic and the thinking doesn't stop. I can't sleep, eat or think properly. I avoid driving because yesterday I almost crashed. Despite all these I have to carry on and have a clear thinking about all this.

She has another daughter from a previous marriage and she raised her herself because she did not want the father to be involved and he wasn't, he saw his daughter once in 8 years. I don't know any other details around what happened there to think that it might apply in this case too

username12345678

You are clearly prepared to meet your financial obligations to the child which is of course right and proper.

My advice in regards to being forced to move in is run and don't look back.

Be there for you child (you will have rights that come with the obligations) but you definitely do not owe this woman a relationship.