Help. My 10 year old DD is turning into a teenage monster

Merlot

I'm off to grab a pot of coffee and then come back and read this thread, my DD is ten and is an absolute angel, I would have ten of her but my DS (8), if he came with an extended warranty, he would have gone back as faulty by now.

I'm dreading the teenage years, I can only remember too well what I was like.

Merlot

Kantankrus_Mare

Kantankrus_Mare wrote: »

My daughter started her periods this time last year (age 11 ) and yes there was a lot of moodyness surrounding the whole business.

Thing is though...........she has only had about four periods and they seem to have stopped. (She hasn't had one for four or five months )

I know they can take a while to settle down and Im not unduly worried but wondered when and if we should seek medical advice?

Thought Id quote myself as something amazing happened today.

Now I know that women who are close as in familys can have similar menstrual cycles, but I found this really bizarre..........I started my period today ( a day late ) within five minutes..12 year old was shouting me to tell me her well overdue period had started. Totally amazing.

Just hoping she gets into a regular pattern now though.I don't suppose it really matters till shes older and wanting to start a family of her own.

She made me laugh though..she said "Dad better watch out!"!:rotfl:

marie17

hi everyone. Well i'm not sure I won the battle yesterday as last night I felt like i'd been conned well and good. I'd took the kids to school on time then at 3pm i'd picked them up. Then my daughter asked if her friend Lorraine came would I do one way. Either pick her up or take her home. I said i'd pick her up as I was going out anyway so it would be easier. Well her friend lives a few miles away by the school, but I did pick her up. Then as I was about to pick my daughter up from their other friends house not too far, she rang and said I've walked home with Lorraine, can you pick me up from her house? So I ended up going over again. That was 4 trips and back up to the school or near it. I well and truely fell for that one. Thing is, my daughters friends parents have 2 cars, but never pick her up or drop her off,they seem to leave it up to me. If she rings and asks them to fetch her they say they've had a drink and can't come out, so for safety reasons I take her home as it's not a pleasant walk for someone on their own. So I think I need to have a re-think on how to handle this. She's upstairs with my daughter at the moment and I think I'm expected to take her home tonight. I know I will because I wouldn't let her go on her own. Oh well, that's what kids were put on earth for... to get one over on us.
:rolleyes:

Cerenia

Remember about the Bodyform free tin offer on at the moment with selected packs - cute and stylish to pop into bags with a spare pad or 2 in for school and so.

Also, I remember reading somewhere that if women are in the same area, quite a few of them will develop the same menstrual cycle due to hormones in the air... or so I was told in the "growing up" talks at school years 7, 9 and 11.

Regarding makeup - why not have a 'girlie day', and try out makeup styles, maybe going to a makeup counter and hairstyles, show young girls that they can be pretty in a few moments rather than hours! A slick of sheer lipgloss, tinted moisturiser, maybe some eyeshadow is more than enough for quite a few teenage girls, rather than over the top orange foundation (as i've seen quite often), panda eyes and vamp red lippy, and hair can be easilly slicked through as well (I always use a makeup wipe over mine to eliminate frizz and smoothes it a little)

I don't think I was too bad as a teen myself, dunno what my mum would say though (she's around on these forums too). I had a few strops, but more hyperactive and chatty than anything else... think my main problem was the loud bad singing into the hairbrush! Could wake up at half 7, ready washed changed and packed by 7:50

stebiz

Well I feel better too now knowing our house is normal. Yesterday my DD who is 11 came home from school saying she had no money and wanted to get a magazine. I offered to buy her the magazine if she hoovered the house and tidied up before her mum came home. In the meantime I would make the tea.

She stomped around the house huffing and puffing. At this stage I simply said if you don't want to do it then don't. However she continued.

When her mum came home she said I'd forced her to do all the tidying up and hoovering. To put the top hat on it she hated the tea too. Sometimes you just can't win

Stebiz

Savvy_Sue

Mrs7ones wrote: »

We have a new 'problem' at the mo with DD.
Her bedroom is next to the bathroom, and she has a habbit of wondering in and out with no clothes on (after showers etc). She also likes to sleep topless, and gets up in the night and doesn't bother to cover up...

Now, although she is only 10, and very immature emotionally, she is very tall and has started to develope.
It's got to the point that DH and DS1 and DS2 don't want to be seeing her wondering around topless/naked (understandably).
I have tried to reason with her, telling her that it just isn't right and that they boys are embarressed by seeing her, but all she says is 'just tell them not to look'!!
DS1 is 15 and bless him, he has to peep out of his room door and run down the landing if he wants to go into the bathroom or downstairs it's that bad!!

Lord knows how i'm going to solve this one!!

Either the time will come when she is ready to cover up, or it won't. While you're waiting to see which, I would try not to make a big deal of it. I know that it's not as simple for the boys as 'not looking', but surely the problem is their reaction? As in, if they didn't care, she wouldn't.

Having spent some time in naturist circles, maybe I find that easier to say than others, but honestly after a while you just don't notice the lack of clothes. When DH is chatting to people, it's their faces he's looking at not the bits which would usually be covered up, and the same goes for me. He is sometimes asked how new male naturists 'cope' with the autopilot response: that's one reason why they carry a towel, and as time goes by it's less likely to happen.

I think you can of course have a house rule of no-one going downstairs topless ... and that includes the boys!

Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't help feeling that the longer our children can stay comfortable in their own skin and with their own body, the less vulnerable they are, to all sorts of things.

marie17 wrote: »

Thing is, my daughters friends parents have 2 cars, but never pick her up or drop her off,they seem to leave it up to me. If she rings and asks them to fetch her they say they've had a drink and can't come out, so for safety reasons I take her home as it's not a pleasant walk for someone on their own. So I think I need to have a re-think on how to handle this. She's upstairs with my daughter at the moment and I think I'm expected to take her home tonight. I know I will because I wouldn't let her go on her own. Oh well, that's what kids were put on earth for... to get one over on us.
:rolleyes:

I do so empathise with this one! Sometimes feel like I might as well put a 'for hire' sign on top of the car.

However, the way I try to handle it is by finding out in advance how DS3 is getting to AND from his friends' houses, and what the rest of his little friends are doing - the one I really LOATHED was cricket on a Friday night, crossing the city at the height of the rush hour, and then discovering that at least two other parents had done almost the same journey! Somehow I don't mind doing it so much if I've got a car-ful ... or if I can do one way and someone else does another. (I solved that one when I realised that one of the dads is coaching, so there all the time anyway, so he does the cricket run and I chauffeur his son at other times.)

I suppose it helps that we only have one car, and it's often working late with their Dad, so the boys know that I can't automatically ferry them around. But DS3 does tend to assume that I'll be available to do whatever he wants.

I've thoroughly wound him up tonight: he wanted a friend round tomorrow to watch a DVD which we have and they don't. This DVD is an 18, and they're only 15. Now, what my son gets away with at home is one thing, but I insisted on talking to his mum to make sure she was happy with her little darling watching it! Oh, and I've said he has to do some revision before this friend arrives. Since he denies that anyone at school has talked about revision plans or strategies (which I know to be untrue!), tomorrow will be interesting!

Mado

stebiz wrote: »

Well I feel better too now knowing our house is normal. Yesterday my DD who is 11 came home from school saying she had no money and wanted to get a magazine. I offered to buy her the magazine if she hoovered the house and tidied up before her mum came home. In the meantime I would make the tea.

Stebiz

:rotfl:
I had to bribe y kids and their cousins this morning to get them out of house and help with leaf raking (I was doing it with my MIL while the kids were inside playing with their game boy or on the computer...)
It was £1 each for raking a given area and the threat that only helpful children would get chocolate cake after lunch. I think it was the cake that did it!:rotfl:

jackieb

anonymousie wrote: »

Hmm, I have a stroppy hormonal 8yr old here too. Unfortunately as we had to explain to her when she as 7, "her body (then) though she was 9 or 10".

She has a sort of premature puberty but not the full blown sort (than goodness). At 8 and nearly 6 months she has smelly armpits (since age 5) hairy armpits (since 6yrs but very fine and pale initially) then teeny but definate little breast buds and now a hint of pubic hair too. She also has hips.

THe reason I tell you, is that, though your DD may be hormonal, on average things happen in the order they are doing here. You generally need the whole lot before you can even think re periods. We have been told that DD will probably start when she is 9 or so, and the sort of average rate from when hormonal changes start obviously kicking off physically is 2yrs. You probably, luckily have a while to go.

Interestingly or endocrinologist was of the opinion that actually age at puberty isn't getting that much younger on average (though anyone involved with kids seems to think so, me too- but I guess we notice the 9yr olds who are filling their bras and getting tall- the rest don't stick in our minds maybe?). DD1 was 11.5yrs and the endocrine lady thought actually she was a bit on the early side of average still.

What I really didn't know about girls and puberty is that periods are a late thing and that you are going to stop growing (again averages) only 2yrs after that:eek: DD1 is therefore a fairly short 160cm (just) and wont grow anymore.

DD2 is very tall now but may end up short as well, esp if her periods start at 9 and she stops growing at 11-that makes me sad.

'nother obsevation- year 7 girls (age 11-12) are a very interesting bunch to look at- they are either teeny and pre pubertal or tall and post pubertal- there aren't any of middling height:rotfl: Observation made at DD1s school at some very, very tedious even when we had just started to digest all this stuff about DD2.

I took my then 7yo to the doctor because one of her nipple became inverted. The doctor said that she was probably entering puberty. :eek: The doctor said her periods would probably start a couple of years after she started developing breasts. I came out of the surgery and wanted to cry! Within a few months her boobs started to develop and her nipple went back to normal. She started her periods when she was 9, and she's just had her 12th birthday last week. It seems a bit unfair because you can see that many of the girls in her class haven't started yet. She's head and shoulders taller and a lot of them. She's spotty and awkward. Her periods still haven't settled down yet, and we can have moods that change lightening quick. One minute she seems fine, 10 minutes later she can be in tears. She gets a bellyache before her period starts and for that she gets paracetamol. She loves a fleecy blanket, a hot water bottle and for me to cuddle her and watch a girly film together. I never had that with the boys (obviously!)

Kantankrus_Mare

I'd never heard that before about stopping growing two years after periods start. I'm hoping this is so as daughter is very tall for her age.......(she is 13 in May and approx 5ft 10. She started last xmas with her periods though they have been hit and miss.

She's not really got the option of being small though :rotfl: I am 6 ft and her dad is 6 ft 3.

Thinking about it though when I look back.....I stopped growing at about fourteen and had started periods when I was 12.

Hated being so tall at that age but now I dont give a monkeys.

Mrs7ones

Kantankrus_Mare wrote: »

I'd never heard that before about stopping growing two years after periods start. I'm hoping this is so as daughter is very tall for her age.......(she is 13 in May and approx 5ft 10. She started last xmas with her periods though they have been hit and miss.

She's not really got the option of being small though :rotfl: I am 6 ft and her dad is 6 ft 3.

Thinking about it though when I look back.....I stopped growing at about fourteen and had started periods when I was 12.

Hated being so tall at that age but now I dont give a monkeys.

My DD is 10 and not much shorter than yours..... probably about 5'6 / 5'7.
i'm hoping she gets her periods soon - to stop her getting too tall.
Both me and her dad are 5'11, so like your DD, not much chance of being short (DS1 is 15 and 6'1):eek: .
But again, like you, I don't care about my height - in fact I see it as an advantage in many ways..... particularly in that I can eat the same as my short round best mate and still be tall and thin:T :T