Help. My 10 year old DD is turning into a teenage monster

Mado

I ordered the book too!!!!
I reckon I need all the help I can get!

anonymousie

Mado wrote: »

I assume she will start her period in the coming year.
No boobs yet and last time I saw her in the bath no "hair in funny places" as babette Cole said , but she asked to have deodorant when she plays sport (and yes, she smells without it...).

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
It wasn't in the instruction manual the midewife gave me....:rotfl:

Hmm, I have a stroppy hormonal 8yr old here too. Unfortunately as we had to explain to her when she as 7, "her body (then) though she was 9 or 10".

She has a sort of premature puberty but not the full blown sort (than goodness). At 8 and nearly 6 months she has smelly armpits (since age 5) hairy armpits (since 6yrs but very fine and pale initially) then teeny but definate little breast buds and now a hint of pubic hair too. She also has hips.

THe reason I tell you, is that, though your DD may be hormonal, on average things happen in the order they are doing here. You generally need the whole lot before you can even think re periods. We have been told that DD will probably start when she is 9 or so, and the sort of average rate from when hormonal changes start obviously kicking off physically is 2yrs. You probably, luckily have a while to go.

Interestingly or endocrinologist was of the opinion that actually age at puberty isn't getting that much younger on average (though anyone involved with kids seems to think so, me too- but I guess we notice the 9yr olds who are filling their bras and getting tall- the rest don't stick in our minds maybe?). DD1 was 11.5yrs and the endocrine lady thought actually she was a bit on the early side of average still.

What I really didn't know about girls and puberty is that periods are a late thing and that you are going to stop growing (again averages) only 2yrs after that:eek: DD1 is therefore a fairly short 160cm (just) and wont grow anymore.

DD2 is very tall now but may end up short as well, esp if her periods start at 9 and she stops growing at 11-that makes me sad.

'nother obsevation- year 7 girls (age 11-12) are a very interesting bunch to look at- they are either teeny and pre pubertal or tall and post pubertal- there aren't any of middling height:rotfl: Observation made at DD1s school at some very, very tedious even when we had just started to digest all this stuff about DD2.

anonymousie

~daisy~ wrote: »

anyone ??

Well,as you know, she can use teeny tampax (or lillets minis) from the start. DD1 doesn't like tampons at all (even though she has had periods for nearly 3 years) though and does miss swimming- she isn't thant commited TBH!

Me I used lillets from very young and loved them (I used to spend my seetie money on them so mum didn't know- how daft was that!).

anonymousie

BTW anyone any advice re DD2 and her hairiness etc-She knows it is early and a bit unusual, but I find it hard to find a balance between Being 8 and the "modesty" I feel (yup my problems I think) is appropriate when your body starts changing.

DD2 swings between the "mum don't look" (but do wash my hair for me) when she is in the bath, and standing around stark naked after swimming yacking to her mates in the big changing room as 8yr olds will:rotfl: .

Part of me thinks- well none of them care a jot, why should I, but when they start noticing and talking about it she might be so upset (on the otherhand she might just tell them what she knows "my body is growing up faster than yours and lets get the barbies out" knowing her!).

At the moment I just go with the flow- which we did with DD1 but she was so much older.

Kantankrus_Mare

My daughter started her periods this time last year (age 11 ) and yes there was a lot of moodyness surrounding the whole business.

Thing is though...........she has only had about four periods and they seem to have stopped. (She hasn't had one for four or five months )

I know they can take a while to settle down and Im not unduly worried but wondered when and if we should seek medical advice?

bikerqueen

tampons all the way (although my girl is a bit young yet...) when i had to wear pads again after my baby was born i remembered how horrible they are!

vixarooni

~daisy~ wrote: »

anyone ??

I used to be a swimmer and a syncronised swimmer. I started my periods at 14 but i gave that all up because i just didnt like it anymore so it was never a problem for me.

I couldnt use tampons before i lost my virginity, i dunno why but i just couldnt get on with them. I used pads up untill the age of 19 then found the wonders of the tampon were for me!

It really does depend on your daughter. Buy some by all means but if she cant get on with them than i guess she will have to miss a week.

Savvy_Sue

COOKIEWILLOW wrote: »

Dont mention tampax to me! came home 2 years ago to find boys had used thread from top to bottom of stairs and all my tampons were dangling from it!! Youngest saw an advert once for the pads "with wings" and wondered if he could have them to "fly" his little soldiers on.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Priceless!

Mrs7ones wrote: »

And one of my most frequent sayings is ''please don't speak to me like that, I don't speak to you in that way do I?''

I have described my 'controlled shouting' technique before, and maybe here's the place to do it again.

Every now and again, I lose my rag and shout. And occasionally, I keep shouting - not very often, and not for very long. But I let them ALL know, at a volume louder than is strictly necessary, that I have HAD ENOUGH, that this behaviour is NOT ACCEPTABLE, and they must STOP NOW (or COME NOW or DO THEIR HOMEWORK NOW or whatever it is).

And I also vividly remember 'cracking' after spending several days ignoring DS1 saying he was going to leave home and go and live with someone else's mummy because I was so horrid. He was about 8, I guess. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that no-one else would have him. I listed all the little friends who I thought he would think had mummies who would take pity on him, and explained why he could not go there, ending each time with a reminder that anyway, THEIR mummy would not love him like I did, because NO-ONE could love him like I did, because his behaviour was so horrible that no-one else would put up with it.

He never mentioned leaving home again (although he has now gone off to Uni, so can't have been too scarred ...)

So maybe just once, respond to her the way she speaks to you, and see if she likes it.

for the flatchested girl who wants a bra, would one of those lycra bra tops with no padding or cups do the job?

As for the modesty question, DS1 became completely modest before he was 8, when there was NOTHING to see, and I don't think I've seen him since ... maybe for a few years after that when washing his hair, but only reluctantly on his part! DS2 wanders naked from shower to bed but does it as quickly as possible, doesn't seem to occur to him to take his pjs with him or keep a towel on. DS3 wears as little as possible around the house, but ALWAYS pants or a towel after the shower, and if a friend arrives he rushes to put a t-shirt on too ...

So I would be guided by the child. As long as the child is happy to stand there starkers chatting, I'd let them. I know their bodies are starting to change, but honestly, one body is very much like another body under the towels and what are we all hiding?

hobo28

This thread is fantastic!

My DD1 recently turned 11 and is also beginning puberty. Mood wise she's been ok except for spending ungodly amounts of time locked away in her room.

But already I've become "that" parent who knows nothing. Whatever I say doesn't count and her favourite sayings are "Yeah but...", "It's not fair!" and of course the classic "you don't understand....."

robnye

hobo28 wrote: »

Whatever I say doesn't count and her favourite sayings are "Yeah but...", "It's not fair!" and of course the classic "you don't understand....."

dd1 favourite saying was 'you dont understand'
dd2's 'its not fair' (even bought her a book about saying it...... soon stopped it)
dd3's is 'stop shouting at me'..... when we arent shouting...... dont mention being deaf, cos that it is..... she isnt deaf, just doesnt like being accused of it.

:rotfl:

oh joy, not looking forward to marrying them off...... apart from fathers speech......