Nst november in new york

Shrewbie

NSDs still on 12!

ORGANISE Housemates away this week, so not doing a proper food shop and going to try to use up some stuff in the cupboards.

VALUES No Spanish... freelance writing work is taking up too much time. although it does help a bit with Spanish as I'm doing some translations. I'm determined to fit it in though, I know it's just a case of being more organised.

ENJOY Loved cooking with BF yesterday after a really long work day.

BUDGETS Doing well. The hard part will be sticking to it over xmas. Going to continue with the freelance writing over the holiday so that should bring in some extra cash, and spending minimal
Thanks apple muncher, I should bring back turron etc, I should be able to fit some in my case.

EXERCISE None since Monday with this stupid cold.

RULES - doing ok.

NO takeaways etc - None this week!

EVERYONE - Will be debt free next month and cannot wait.

YOU - Going to batch cook tomorrow for the week ahead.

REPORT - Trying to do better with that!

KINDNESS Fetched a bottle of water for a girl who was feeling really faint at the metro station yesterday.

greent

Spent on Thurs, Fri and today - but mainly Xmas and bday things (DD's 21st bday is mid Dec, DS2's 13th early Jan - so double for them) Did get some BF deals, but only on things I was going to buy anyway and had already checked prices out as to what I was prepared to pay - so if they were cheaper on BF then that was good Not yet finished, but a lot closer than I was 3 days ago!

Food - all tracked.

Takeaways/ coffees out - none

Exercise and outside - used free parking outside town - brisk walk in and back (x2)

Extra - got some hours for work in Dec. Still trying to sell some bits on fbook but will send to CS if not gone soon (new items/ as new, so not offloading junk) Did use tcb for all applicable online purchases.

mothernerd

f0xh0les wrote: »

Ah, The Fairytale of New York, a proper Jeremy Kyle Christmas song.

Saw a card in a shop window, it read:

' These days Mary and Joseph would be on Jeremy Kyle'

I did giggle.

I am not so worried about Christmas per se,

The in-laws never tell us what they want, they need nothing, all they want is their kids to want to be with them, and for them to like their kids, but I am not a miracle worker.

Step Gran has informed me she wants something but it cannot be food, she does not drink, and she does not want gadgets or ornaments. She is housebound and frail. So that is easy then!

DH does not see what all the fuss is about. He would ignore the whole business.

The kids open their presents, drag their loot off to their rooms, and then get back on their computers.

You koow, I think I might suggest present opening after lunch this year.... DH never wants to get up, DS1 and 2 are getting up later and later, so maybe it is time to switch things up a bit.

We have no family within 250 miles. and so we have never really done the whole going to visit 1, 2,or 3. so really there is no reason not to just please ourselves. By pleasing ourselves, I mean everyone else does nothing .

What I simply do not understand, is why it has fallen to me, the person with the least money, to buy gifts for everyone else.

Maybe I have just fallen into this trap and it is time to build a ladder and climb out of this pit, instead of sitting inthr bottom of it and digging it deeper and deeper.

For Christmas, from the age of about 13, I got a multipack of socks and a cheque for £100 with a card saying 'We did not know what you want'. This continued every year.

I am not sure whether my parents were simply absent, or set me up to be financially aware, but more and more I am becoming aware that my 'upbringing ' was not normal. DH is convinced I was a lodger, not a child.

Anyway. in summary, my kids seem ungrateful, but I am still doing things, as we had was a box of roses and a tree. That was Xmas. I think my kids would cry.

Hugs f0xh0les. I've used your post because it raises a lot of issues which many of us struggle with.



* I'm not an expert on in laws (mine only talked to me through OH or directly (very loudly so the whole world could hear) if they presumed I had done something 'wrong' (as opposed to OH, the apple of his mother's eye, who could do no wrong).


* Step Gran - it might seem a bit off the wall, but when my aunt was ill (long term) I bought her a hot water bottle but it was one of the dear ones and looked like bugs bunny. She used hot water bottles to ease her pain and I thought we all need something to hug at times and she could cuddle the hot water bottle without embarrasment.



* DH - I am no expert in OHs (can probably make you feel grateful for yours). Does he buy your present and is it bought before Christmas Eve? There is a lovely Fay Weldon short story which I read every year as an antidote before starting on Christmas preparations. About a couple who become more and more successful until her Christmas preparations take up most of the year and are planned with military precision (they aquire 4 children, a huge farmhouse table - so everyone comes round to them, a large staff needing a party and presents).


The company goes bust and they lose everything, everyone goes elsewhere for Christmas and they finally make peace and enjoy a Christmas like their early student ones. It has wonderful asides like decoding the meaning of in-laws presents and the eldest eating with his arm round his plate as he has been supplanted 3 times by younger siblings.


* I loved the year we got our first Playstation (getting a second was even better). I was firmly told that there were two ways to set it up - parents could wrestle with it for hours or could leave it to the experts (the boys). They disappeared upstairs and there was silence - what more could you want for Christmas than a bit of peace and quiet. No stress on making the meal, just called them down when it was done and then they vanished again.


* Yes foxholes it's your Christmas and you are allowed to celebrate in a way that suits you and your family. Don't be a martyr for Christmas (and don't put 'A martyr is for life not just for Christmas' back in your signature).


I only made a 'dinner' for Christmas Day and Boxing Day (always much easier because there's no pressure). For the remainder of the school holidays I did a 'running buffet'. I scaled down the Christmas Day buffet (everyone's had an enormous lunch) and at the end of each meal put away fridge things, left out anything that wouldn't spoil and added any replacements at the next meal (something hot, cooked meat and savories and some extras (crisp, biscuits, trifle). A lot of stuff was picked up from the ys shelf and frozen - fiddly things I wouldn't make myself. It could be stretched to accomodate however many friends of the boys dropped round - and sometimes stayed.


* In the early days we had to alternate between our parents. His mother hated Christmas (she was a spoiled brat who hated any time she wasn't the centre of attention - in her 60s she was still carrying on a feud with her sister who 'claimed' to have travel sickness and therefore got to sit in the front seat of the car with 'daddy', a position she felt entitled to, being the eldest).


Put my foot down at DS1's second Christmas and thereafter spent the weekend before at his parents (lots of fun when OH has come from all day revelling at work's last day), Christmas Day at home (his parents came once and complained about the cold all the time, one of the other d-i-ls only had them once as well) and Boxing Day at mum's (until she got wrapped up with her partner's family and had no space in her social schedule).


Change is good. Different is not worse. Can you try training the older ones by delegating them to buy some of the younger ones presents (especially if it means visiting games shops).



* I don't know if it's a reflection on my personality (I was a very quiet child, it was the easiest way to survive) but was given sets of handkerchiefs for Christmas, some in my stocking and in my record year 9 sets from various friends and relations (my parents did a pact with aunts and uncles to not buy for each other's children - only unmarried aunts bought for us).


* Hugs f0xh0les I do think you are overcompensating for your childhood (it's understandable). I think you need to find a middle road. Set new traditions, let them all stay in bed. If you want to get up you could spend some time prepping the meal but also do something for you - sit and drink hot chocolate, go for a walk, have the bathroom to yourself and pamper.

f0xh0les

Shrewbie wrote: »

EVERYONE - Will be debt free next month and cannot wait.

Congratulations :j:j:j:j

f0xh0les

Thanks mothernerd. all hugs most gratefully received and the nice thing about hugs is that you return it to the giver at the same time.

I think I am just a nut, really. Christmas just magnifies it - I need to get out more!

Spent the afternoon up a ladder putting thermal linings on the curtains.
Found a paintbrush to get two niggly frog jobs out of the way this weekend too.

I was a bit worried I am not getting anything done, but I am getting things done, important things, as I just found my list of things I wanted to have done by the start of November and I had to strike though loads of things. Yay! they were just littler things that randomly annoyed, not big glaringly obvious everday annoying things.

This time next week, the advent calendars will all be up and hanging, the trees will be up and being tweaked ( I think I have enough baubles now to do a totally StarWars tree - all YS from last year's sales) , and it will be the 1st December.
So I am going to be embracing the last week of November, I have payday to look forward to, I have less than £30 on my credit card no debt, and half a tank of petrol. The last of DS1s college open days to attend, and I should really count myself lucky I am 250 mile away from the in-laws.
It is a blessing.
I have a lot to be thankful for.

I think I may just be a ' people pleaser' person but I am getting burnt out with it. Probably because the people I am trying to please have no damn manners!

I saw Pr1marni have sloth hot water bottles this year. That made me giggle as well. They are the half size ones (plenty of other animals too) so it was a good suggestion - I had not thought of that. Surely nobody could find offense at a hot water bottle.

Kerry_Woman

NSD achieved today - 16/20
Walked to and from florist. They have not done the flower arrangement. Now I have to wait until Tuesday when the owner is back as she does the artificial flower arrangements. The lady who I spoke to will pass on that I was not happy it not being done even though I said I will be collecting it today.
Went to pick up my prescription.
Still need to do a couple of household chores.
Used things that I already in. Did finally use up 2 tubs of cream. Have lit a scented candle this afternoon that I have had for a while.
Done self care.

Toni'sfriend

NSD 17/20 AFD No 24

I think you'd be surprised at how many people would just prefer spending Christmas Day chilling out and doing their own thing. Eating their favourite food, drinking their favourite drinks and watching their favourite films. My cousin has for years done the whole Christmas thing for her extended family but, as she's been ill, this year it's just her and Hubby. She admitted to me the other day that she's never really enjoyed doing it but everybody got to expect of her so she just carried on. She is so looking forward to this year. I just wonder how many people go on year after year doing what's expected rather than what they want. That's my thought for the day.

Anyway, today we walked to the chemist to collect our prescriptions, bought a steak pie for tomorrows dinner (the Boy is coming over) and a loaf. Nothing else so a cheap day.

Himself has done his wrapping this afternoon. He pointed out that it's the first time he's done it without the aid of several large glasses of wine and much bad language but it wasn't nearly as bad as he expected.

I've got a sausage, onion and mash in the oven and then it's off to bed with a book and a cuppa. I can't believe how many books both of us have read recently. Just as well I've bought himself a new supply for Christmas.

DawnW

f0xh0les wrote: »

I saw Pr1marni have sloth hot water bottles this year. That made me giggle as well. They are the half size ones (plenty of other animals too) so it was a good suggestion - I had not thought of that. Surely nobody could find offense at a hot water bottle.

If anyone takes offence at a present bought for them, then they really don't deserve a present, do they?
I spent so many years trying, and failing, to avoid offending my in-laws and then suddenly one day decided no longer to care. It was very liberating - not many advantages to getting older, but giving less of a *&$% is definitely one of them :cool::whistle::D

crazy_cat_lady

Evening everyone
Minor slip today - I had to eat on the run so I spent 85p on a prepacked sandwich from L1dl - but otherwise a nsd and infinitely better than expensive fried chicken.
The strangest Christmas thing has happened. My sister has invited me to hers for Christmas dinner this year - which is very unexpected, but me and the kids are grateful and have decided to go along. We live in the same town so we will be able to walk over and for the first time ever on Christmas day I'll be able to have a drink at lunchtime. Still hiding from present buying etc. though...
Busy working my way through the longest to-do list I've had in some time...

plumduff55

NSD - No spending today so that's me on 17/20.

ENJOY - My friend took me out for the day for an early Christmas present. Had lunch out and a guided tour of Dumfries House near Cumnock. Great day.

BUDGET - Reduced budget going really well this month. I have more than £20 left and only need to buy milk so will use any leftover money to buy some stocking fillers from Poundland.

EXERCISE - Went for a long walk around the grounds of Dumfries House.

TAKEAWAYS - Had lunch and later a coffe but alll paid for by friend.

OUTSIDE - Yes while walking.

Had a lovely day and definitely on the mend from recent cold xx