Nst november in new york

apple_muncher

Another vote here for making Christmas into what you want it to be.

We used to have utterly miserable christmases, for various reasons, so once I left home at 18 for uni, I don't think I spent another cmas back 'home'. I even stayed abroad on my gap year (Spain) and year abroad (France). So I have been fortunate in not having any family pressures to maintain! Dh's kids always went away with their mum, so we always had a delayed cmas with them. And dh's mum lives in Texas and I never met his dad, so no family obligations there either.

Before having dd, some friends always invited us to theirs for cmas lunch and games, with their 3 kids. It took me a while to get used to it!

When I was growing up, there were 2 families along the road whose doors were always open to me - even on cmas day. And I am so grateful for them.

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for my family, for knowing some very giving people who have enriched my life, for sausage + mash, for dd selling some of her syl fam clothing creations today, for dh enjoying his jaunt to town on his own, for the tv recorder that has recorded oodles of rugby for me to watch tomorrow (unless there's another match on, in which case I'll watch that one first!), for a fridge full of food, for picking the very final rasps of the year.

lcc86

All this talk of Xmas reminds me I still haven't bought most of my gifts :eek: I'm normally all done by now and very organised, but this year I've really let things slip, so I need to pull my finger out.

Today I took OH out for afternoon tea and to a hotel as a birthday treat. All paid for in advance and dinner included so I'm counting it as a NSD. He's knackered and has fallen asleep already :rotfl:

Saving_Glut

Just reporting that there’s ummm, nothing to report!

NSDs: 10/15.

Eat those frogs:
Prep my annual expenditure plan. Urgh, this will not be my favourite thing to do, I know it won’t be as bad as it seems and it will feel good to have completed it. But, urgh!

sashanut

Hi all:j

Sorry did not get to post last night as just as I was about to, the computer had some weird messages on, so had to get DH to check it, involved running a full scan to see it wasn't compromised (it wasn't). Although the scan ran for 24 hours :eek:

Nice day today at the workshop making a garland, it was a proper walk down memory lane for me as it was held in the village where I went to school as a small child, in the old school room next to the church.


NSDs Now 11/15

ORGANISE your time. Yesterday liberated 3 (!) less than fresh pineapples - bought but uneaten by DD - and made them into pineapple chutney. Big thumbs up from DH & no expenditure as all ingredients we had.

VALUES Differentiate between needs and wants. Some BF purchases but just things from DDs Christmas/birthday list. No purchases today.

ENJOY yourself. Enjoyed the course more than I expected to. Good job as have another one with the same people next Thursday, along with DD. This one will be in the grounds of Renishaw Hall, the Sitwell family seat.


MAKE an inventory of the food in your cupboards, fridge and freezer at the start of the month. Used up food for yesterdays supper from the freezer & fridge. Did a car picnic today for us rather than buy food, DH sat in car for 2 hours bless him. Used up food from stores for supper. Slightly thwarted in effort to reduce freezer stock as DD sent round a frozen YS chicken, now in our freezer. Sigh.


BUDGETS should be set before the start of the month.

EXERCISE 4 times a week, 20 minutes a day. Outside with furry beasts & then a quick walk round village as we got to course early. This is Dhs influence, I am always on the last second.

RULES Turtle rules can be difficult at first. Following the plan as best I can.

IN case of emergency Add any items you might need Made a small list but not been shopping yet since we got back from Ireland.

NOW is always the right time to start. Not too bad on the healthy food front although there were lots of nibbles, stollen, mulled spiced glogg etc at the course.

NO takeaways, None today

EVERYONE Am DF but always could do with more savings towards experiences or holidays. Have some funds I need to pay back to business account, also for items bought in last spending spree... so need to account for those items by December 31. Pending.

EXTRA Have a ton of stuff that needs to be sold. Back from hols but not dealing with as yet, after weekend out will do.

WINTER This week need to finish front door, family party 2 weeks tomorrow so the clock is ticking. Can't wait for DH to be off doing his jury service soon.

YOU should cook from scratch Made curry last night & pizza tonight.

OUTSIDE Briefly

REPORT regularly I'm here..

KINDNESS Being kind to myself today doing something for me.

Go Turtles !!!!

Saving_Glut

mothernerd wrote: »

Our first record player set on fire on Christmas Day. It had a little brush that was meant to 'clean' the stylus every time it went back to it's resting position and a stray wire must have ignited it. We also had a tv that set on fire. It wasn't turned on but dad spotted the fire in the back of it ( in the days when tvs had 'valves' , about 20 light bulb shaped objects in the back) reflected in the clock on the wall.


The manager of the local electrical shop was very suspicious about two such incidents in one family (think the tv must only have been rented). Unluckily for him the shop cleaner was our grandma, who had been present when the record player went up, and she soon set him straight.


* It snowed one year, think I was about 4. We couldn't afford wellingtons so my mother had the bright idea of putting bread bags (greased paper wrappers not plastic bags) over my shoes to keep my feet dry. Shuffled round the back yard for a while until I reached the bin, where the ground sloped slightly. Bread wrappers have no grip so I went flying and hit the ground hard.


8 When I was expecting DS1 I made the mistake of letting OH go shopping. Beetroot was on the list, I expected it in a jar, he brought home a bunch. Studied my cook books (Delia's Frugal Food and a Rose Elliot) and found a beetroot and orange salad recipe, which involved much peeling and grating in between preparing Christmas dinner (with pauses to go upstairs and be sick). At one point it skidded off the table onto my dress. Had to go upstairs, change and soak the (1 of 3) dress - luckily the stain came out.


* A beginning of December story but ran till Christmas. I had a place on a media course in Aigburth. I had told them I was bringing DS1 who was nearly 2yo (I was pregnant with DS2). I had to take a bus to Warrington, then a train the rest of the way. OH had helpfully put clothes for us both plus nappies etc in one large bag. Also had pushchair and a nappy bag.



Got to Warrington bus station, the effort of lugging the case round made me sick. Cue throwing up in the bus station toilets, muttering words of reassurance to DS1 in between. Narrowly avoided being sent to Warrington General by a passenger who found a transport policeman. Persuaded him to mind my case whilst I had a walk round in the fresh air. Bought a second bag and divided the luggage evenly.


Caught the train. Got up at our stop and waited patiently by the doors with DS1, two large bags, one small bag and the pushchair. The people waiting for the train did not follow the correct procedure (to let me off the train first) but pushed past me. I stepped from the train holding a bag in each hand, then turned to lift DS1 down.


To my horror the doors started to shut. I shoved my hands forward (did not know if the doors would have cut them off but instinctively knew I could not let DS1 be trapped in the train without me. The doors stopped and another passenger got up and wrestled them open for me to reach for DS1 (and the pushchair).


Walked to the college (very late by now), still shaking only to find they had made no provision for DS1. They offered to let him have the room next to me (student cubbies) but I opted to have a mattress brought through to put on the floor (he spent all week in the single bed with me - and the kicking baby).


Before we left home, I had asked that OH pull all the furniture away from the walls and paint the skirting boards so that none of us would be affected by the fumes. Phoned him at work midway through the week (we had no home phone) and he had taken the day off (because he hadn't done the painting).


When I finally got home on the Friday (needing to wash my 3 dresses because we were away for the weekend) I found that not only had OH not done the painting requested, he had started to atke all the books from the (floor to ceiling bookshelves) and pack them away - in the middle of the room.


No point in putting them back (even though I hadn't wanted to decorate properly until later), I spent the evening re-packing the books and carrying them upstairs to stack them at the end of the landing. The only good point was that I was in no condition to paper the ceiling. My mum did it, assissted by OH. Mum and I did the rest and I put all the books back - I have a photo of me in an advanced stage of pregnancy, up a ladder, adjusting shelves (OH took the picture - it's at an angle because he was sitting down with a cup of tea).

Too funny Motherned (although also a little tough). With your sense of humour and your perspective, you could write a book!

laurenh1

Good morning Turtles,



To wade in on the Christmas debate we just spend it with us. We spent years driving up & down the country & not really enjoying it. My brother comes to us & we do our own thing. We don't always have Turkey , we see what we fancy. We stay in our pjs if we want, watch rubbish on TV.


Today is not NSD as we need milk so still on 14. I have a 5er left in the budget but I think that will do me til Friday, we have food & fuel:o
Got out yesterday with the kids, went to the park on our bikes. While hub gutted the garage. Just our cars left to be cleaned on our frogs list.
I have an awful sickness bug so I'm taking it easy, planning to snuggle up with a film later.
have a fab day all

mothernerd

Serendipitous inspiration, last night I saw a quote
"We do not need to keep any holiday traditions that leave us broke, unhappy or stressed out".


My Christmas this year is still up in the air. Think I will probably spend the day with mum. Beloved is going to her parents so DS3 will be alone but mey do "Christmas" for them both (and think their visitor is due back then) the week before.


Have done stockings for them before but they both bemused. Think last year I was allowed to buy a small present for Beloved from her wish list (after several years of being forbidden - see Sheldon and the Big Bang theory, Spock DNA - I insisted that anyone who was spending Christmas at my house got a present).


I am making things but none of the intended recipients knows about them (so no disappointments) but I need to be realistic about what I can and cannot do in the time left.


I love candles and music and my favourite sort of Christmas involves a stack of unread books and the Doctor Who Christmas special (another reason to be at mum's) and no shopping.



I have spent Christmas with a variety of people including an assortment of my sons friends with none of my actual sons present, college and church warden years when I was so ill (from the moment we broke up) that I could barely stand and the turkey stew/ broth really came into it's own.


You can spend Christmas (or whatever you celebrate as it's all basically stolen from the pagans) however you want depending on how much fall out you can cope with. I have had years of counselling trying to eliminate all the shoulds, musts and ought tos from my life and am still inclined to cave in to others demands and expectations (especially mum's).


In the words of the lovely Greg Lake "The Christmas we get, we deserve". Make changes before you break, turtles.


I know one couple, slightly older than me, who have just been on a weekend theatre break alone (ie first holiday ever without their 2 grown up daughters and all the grandchildren accompanying them). They have also said that they will be staying home alone this Christmas (causing much consternation). This is after years of hosting the family Christmas including parents and a sister. This then switched to one of their daughter's houses when she had her first child (extended to include her partner's parents, sister and her partner and child).


So think about what you want to change and what you want to keep (you may need to start dropping hints for next Chistmas now). Others may assume (or find it convenient to assume) that you love doing what you do so if you don't want to still be doing it through gritted teeth in your sixties (like my friends) make changes now.


For many of us (special hugs Kerry Woman) Christmas can be a difficult time. Thought of those who are no longer with us or having a difficult time with your mental or physical health which is seems at odds with everyone else's percieved jollity can drag us down.


Hopefully you have already taken steps to eschew the ordeal of the Christmas works do, the mutual obligation gift giving, buying piles of food you don't like (if not , why not?).



Money problems, poor accomodation and relationship difficulties which we cope with most of the time are under the spotlight when extra demands are made and family members who just about rub along are placed in close confinement for long periods. Wide availability of drugs of choice (food, alcohol) and attendant problems can make things worse.


Please feel free to distance yourself and take time out whenever you feel the need. Go for a walk, sit in a park, church or other quiet place (also recommended for those who don't do virtual shopping - especially when you get to the panic stage and are about to buy out the shop), retire to your room for a nap ( or make up some task to be done) and recharge your batteries. Go to see a counsellor, talk to a friend, hug a teddy, take the rolling pin to something. Do what you need to do.


Don't be a martyr for Christmas. Try to remember others who are struggling or in need (the sick, the homeless, abused children and animals) but remember you can't save the whole world and don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself.


Well I've gone on longer than I intended and once again haven't posted the last lagom tips and hints (I need to go find food and review my list - stuff has to get done today however slowly).

JCS1

Just been reading this thread and looking at joining in future months. However, I have a query over the no canteens rule.

Where I work, I can have sandwich/soup/jacket potatoes for nothing. In this case I'm assuming it would be ok as it's very :money:

mothernerd

JCS1 yes that is fine - it's part of the no spending rule and you would not be spending money so keep the SFD (spend free day). It to help with the 'just popping into the shop for one or two things' (when you come out with a basket load) or the 'coffee and a chocolate bar won't break the bank' (until you work out what it costs over the year and suddenly your 'treat' is a habit you can't break). Canteens are included here because usually they are expensive compared to bringing your own lunch and it's so easy to cave into temptation when you're tired, hungry or had a bad day.