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How would you feel

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Comments

  • Bogof_Babe
    Bogof_Babe Posts: 10,803 Forumite
    Comms69 wrote: »
    Just to be clear that isn't necessarily the test.

    Surely as far as the service provider is concerned the contract is in her ownership not his?

    If anything dodgy was downloaded it would be she who was in the dock.
    :D I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe :D

  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Bogof_Babe wrote: »
    Surely as far as the service provider is concerned the contract is in her ownership not his?

    If anything dodgy was downloaded it would be she who was in the dock.



    as far as the service provider is concerned, absolutely. She is the person who took out the contract.


    But the phone and the contract would almost certainly be considered a gift. Therefore she does not have legal ownership.


    If anything dodgy was downloaded, she would certainly be a suspect; but in the dock? That's a very remote possibility.


    The offence is actually not related to ownership at all.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,917 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Skintski wrote: »
    You’d be far better off talking to your husband rather than taking the advice of strangers on the internet (a couple of whom seem really quite sarcastic for some reason)

    It seems a bit one sided in the texts you’ve put up, he’s flirting, she’s giving fairly standard responses. Maybe he’s making a mistake with a friend and making a fool out of himself who knows but you won’t find out without discussing it with him.

    It might turn out to be what you suspect or it might turn out to be just a flirt that’s going too far. Decide what you’re comfortable with at this point in your life and then make a decision on where you go from here.
    I was going to post that it really doesn't matter what random strangers on t'internet think.
    It's how the OP feels about what her partner is doing that matters.
    If it feels wrong to you, then it's wrong.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,374 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Someone said to me "if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck". He's having an emotion affair at the very least.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • phryne
    phryne Posts: 471 Forumite
    toejumper wrote: »
    How would you feel and what would your reaction be if you saw these text messages on your husdand/partners phone

    Her. Hi can I ring you
    Him, you sure can sexy

    Her, sorry I haven't rung you for a while I've still been poorly
    Him, I told you I'd come round and nurse you better

    Her, can I ring you
    Him, you sure can I'm looking forward to it and three wolf whistle emoji


    Taking this at face value (??) I think your marriage is in trouble.
  • bertiewhite
    bertiewhite Posts: 1,904 Forumite
    1,000 Posts
    OP - how do you know it's a female he's flirting with?
  • unholyangel
    unholyangel Posts: 16,866 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    They're obviously just friends......with benefits.

    I can honestly say I have never once asked any of my male friends if its okay to call them. I believe this woman is asking so that she doesn't inadvertently call when the OP is present.

    A lot of people who invade their partners privacy do so because they had a "gut feeling" something wasn't right. Its not a gut feeling, its your subconscious picking up on things (not always correctly mind you), so its there in your mind even if youre not actively aware of why. I dont believe in spying on your partner but imo its not the spying that breaks the trust - its usually a lack of trust that leads to the spying. Lack of trust in a relationship is a death knell.

    OP, does he ever take calls from her when he's with you? If you asked him about the messages and he says they're just friends, would you believe him? Are you happy in your relationship?
    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
  • unholyangel
    unholyangel Posts: 16,866 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    OP - how do you know it's a female he's flirting with?

    I guess you missed this post from the OP?
    toejumper wrote: »
    Thank you thorsoak i questioned this friendship with her at the begging of the year she's a ex colleague of his and he snapped at me saying he needed someone to talk to, instant told me to look on his phone on Monday night something I never do and saw these messages i went back on his phone on Tuesday night and he'd delited them
    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
  • Ergates
    Ergates Posts: 3,195 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    baza52 wrote: »
    then just get over it and choose where you want to be.

    "Just get over" the potential/probable breakdown of your 30 year marriage? Just say "Oh well", shrug, then walk away?

    Not everyone is an emotionally dead automaton, you get that right? For most (normal) people, taking these steps is actually quite hard.
  • Fireflyaway
    Fireflyaway Posts: 2,766 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    I'd feel really hurt. Even if it's just flirting ( sounds like more or certainly the start of something more) its disrespectful to you.
    What I would do is text the woman pretending to be your husband with a new phone number and see what happens!
    I'd definitely confront my husband though. Problem is he might just make silly excuses or try to make you believe you are at fault. You are the best judge of what to do next.
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