How would you feel

baza52

toejumper wrote: »

I have authorisation the mobile contracts in my name and I pay the bill

Why dont you just access the mobile and message her and ask what her intentions or feelings are obviously pretending to be your other half. Perhaps ask how they felt about the last time they were together lol

toejumper

baza52 wrote: »

Why dont you just access the mobile and message her and ask what her intentions or feelings are obviously pretending to be your other half. Perhaps ask how they felt about the last time they were together lol

I wouldn't dream of contacting her he's the one that made the choice to write those text, she has nothing to lose

baza52

toejumper wrote: »

I wouldn't dream of contacting her he's the one that made the choice to write those text, she has nothing to lose

then just get over it and choose where you want to be.

toejumper

baza52 wrote: »

then just get over it and choose where you want to be.

Him or me.

baza52

toejumper wrote: »

Him or me.

do you really need me to tell you.

toejumper

baza52 wrote: »

do you really need me to tell you.

I know where I'd rather be I'd rather be here happily married but I don't think that's going to happen do you

thorsoak

toejumper wrote: »

I know where I'd rather be I'd rather be here happily married but I don't think that's going to happen do you

Yes, you can still live "happily ever after" - but from what you have posted, I cannot see it being with your OH. He isn't able to change - and sadly, from my experience (a long time ago) as a volunteer with Womens Aid - passive aggressive can and does turn to aggressive when confronted with something undeniable. Make your plans now.

Skintski

You’d be far better off talking to your husband rather than taking the advice of strangers on the internet (a couple of whom seem really quite sarcastic for some reason)

It seems a bit one sided in the texts you’ve put up, he’s flirting, she’s giving fairly standard responses. Maybe he’s making a mistake with a friend and making a fool out of himself who knows but you won’t find out without discussing it with him.

It might turn out to be what you suspect or it might turn out to be just a flirt that’s going too far. Decide what you’re comfortable with at this point in your life and then make a decision on where you go from here.

splishsplash

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

Oh come off it, the "bolthole" in question is likely to be the home of a sibling/parent/good friend.

I'm a bit surprised you think it's OK to need a 'bolthole' anywhere from a man you've been married to for 30 years. It's an odd choice of phrase.

Maybe not though, OP, as you say he is very aggressive and this has been the problem in your marriage. You also say he is very passive aggressive and hurtful.

Did he find his wedding ring after his tantrum?

You've been suspicious about this other woman for ages now - all year, in fact.

How you choose to live your life is entirely up to you, OP. We can't tell you what you should do. You asked how others would feel and got the usual range of opinions but the only one that matters is yours.

You wonder if your husband really want to be with you or is pining for the other woman. What do you want though? Where do you see yourself a year's time?

Comms69

toejumper wrote: »

I have authorisation the mobile contracts in my name and I pay the bill

Just to be clear that isn't necessarily the test.