How would you feel

thorsoak

30 years ...and shows aggression? Do not waste any more of your life on him - let her have him!

Yes, you will have a lot to unravel, but it sounds to me from what you have said that it started to unravel some time ago. Ensure that you have made financial arrangements - eg bank account - your salary into your own account, if you are the one to move out, start cancelling utility bills in your name, make sure you have passport/driving licence, birth certificate etc..- and start taking your own treasures out of the house - one by one - and leave them in a safe place. Same with your clothes.

Don't try to fix what can't be fixed - you've worked at it for 30 years - after all this time, he's not going to change.

Red-Squirrel_2

Nick_C wrote: »

If you distrust your partner this much then your relationship has serious problems.

Sounds like the serious problem is that he is highly untrustworthy!

surveyqueenuk

splishsplash wrote: »

You have a bolthole to hide from his aggression and you're worried about him being unfaithful?

Oh come off it, the "bolthole" in question is likely to be the home of a sibling/parent/good friend.

baza52

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Sounds like the serious problem is that he is highly untrustworthy!

Have you been hurt in the past by any chance;)

mattpaint

I'd spend most of my time wondering why I was in a relationship with someone who spoke like a cowboy.

toejumper

splishsplash wrote: »

You have a bolthole to hide from his aggression and you're worried about him being unfaithful?[/QUOTEn

No I've never left him because of his anger issues the bolt hole is for when I confront him with the text I found

toejumper

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

Oh come off it, the "bolthole" in question is likely to be the home of a sibling/parent/good friend.

Yes my twin brother owns a 3 bedroom house i have a wonderful supportful family

toejumper

thorsoak wrote: »

30 years ...and shows aggression? Do not waste any more of your life on him - let her have him!

Yes, you will have a lot to unravel, but it sounds to me from what you have said that it started to unravel some time ago. Ensure that you have made financial arrangements - eg bank account - your salary into your own account, if you are the one to move out, start cancelling utility bills in your name, make sure you have passport/driving licence, birth certificate etc..- and start taking your own treasures out of the house - one by one - and leave them in a safe place. Same with your clothes.

Don't try to fix what can't be fixed - you've worked at it for 30 years - after all this time, he's not going to change.

Thank you I've always had a bank account of my own that's where my salary paid

toejumper

baza52 wrote: »

Have you been hurt in the past by any chance;)

Yes my husband is very passive aggressive and been hurt by things he's said and done as far as I'm aware he's never cheated

toejumper

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I'd question why I was committing an offence under the computer misuse act 1990 and accessing a computer system without authorization.




To which the response would of course be "It's my house as well, the people on MSE told me so, which means you can't prevent me from entering."

I have authorisation the mobile contracts in my name and I pay the bill