Opinions about working kids paying Housekeeping needed!

wherediditallgo

Kaz2904 wrote: »

There is no legal obligation for a parent to fund their child through further education.
Parental income is assessed when judging for grants because many parents do help out. It is also used to stop people just going to uni instead of getting a job. If more people had to consider how they were going to fund their way through uni there would probably be less people wasting time there.

I agree. I remember my Mum getting a letter saying I wasn't eligible for any kind of grant when I wanted to go to college because of their income. The 'solution' was that I got a part-time job (two evenings & a Saturday, plus any holidays & overtime), & that paid for my books & stationery, as well as any personal spending. My parents contributed by giving me a roof over my head & not expecting anything from my earnings for my keep during that time. If I'd chosen to leave home & had wanted to go college, I would have been expected to apply for any benefits & grants to help me - they wouldn't have contributed a penny, nor would I have expected them to. I did well at college, partly because I knew what it was taking out of me to be there.

My parents always said, once you think you're old enough to stand on your own two feet & choose to leave home, that's exactly what you should do however you manage it & whatever you have to do without to accomplish it - most people have to make sacrifices at some level to get what they want in life. My Mum (typical Cancerian ) would have liked me to stay at home a good while longer than I did, but even she said she'd never want to live the nightmare of she & I going to collect our pensions together.

red74

I think this is a highly emotive subject because it's far from being just about money, it's also about the relationship between parents and their children. I paid what I am sure a lot of people would call a fairly nominal amount of board, but I would have happily paid a third of the bills (despite my father earning a damn sight more than me) had my father given me an equal amount of say about what happened in the house, but it was very clearly his house, and what he said was law, and he said a lot.

The truth is that my parents could manage financially perfectly well without me if my fathers idea of budgetry management wasn't to determine an amount of cash he would give my mother, and she was then responsible for paying all the household bills from that and her wage, and lets just say that inflation is a totally alien concept to my father. If mum said she needed more money from him all hell would break loose. Consequently he has a huge amount of cash in the bank, whilst my mum struggles.

So, 2 years after leaving home, I still pay some of their bills, because I know mum can't afford them, and I hate it because I know dad could, if he would put his hand in his pocket, and I would have been DF about 8 months ago had I not been paying for them, instead I reckon I've got another 3 months to go. But what can I do, I can't see mum go under just because my father is a....guess that's probably not printable.

SarahNeedle1872

red74 wrote: »

I think this is a highly emotive subject because it's far from being just about money, it's also about the relationship between parents and their children. I paid what I am sure a lot of people would call a fairly nominal amount of board, but I would have happily paid a third of the bills (despite my father earning a damn sight more than me) had my father given me an equal amount of say about what happened in the house, but it was very clearly his house, and what he said was law, and he said a lot.

The truth is that my parents could manage financially perfectly well without me if my fathers idea of budgetry management wasn't to determine an amount of cash he would give my mother, and she was then responsible for paying all the household bills from that and her wage, and lets just say that inflation is a totally alien concept to my father. If mum said she needed more money from him all hell would break loose. Consequently he has a huge amount of cash in the bank, whilst my mum struggles.

So, 2 years after leaving home, I still pay some of their bills, because I know mum can't afford them, and I hate it because I know dad could, if he would put his hand in his pocket, and I would have been DF about 8 months ago had I not been paying for them, instead I reckon I've got another 3 months to go. But what can I do, I can't see mum go under just because my father is a....guess that's probably not printable.

I think this post is wonderful Red, it really show parental respect.....

melancholly

melancholly wrote: »

glad it's not just me..... i only go home for short bursts and can just about keep myself in check for a weekend......... i don't know that i'll cope over Christmas though..... i guess i don't want to add to my parents' stress as i know they are already having trouble sleeping and grandparents are sick etc etc (which then winds me up even more that my sister isn't suggesting she pays more herself!). i'm going to have to address it over christmas, but at least then i'll have enough time to find a 'good time' to bring it up, rather than forcing the issue like i did last time.

families, eh?!

just thought it was about time i updated on this - i am a wimp and didn't bring this up over christmas. but there was talk of her moving from part time to full time and moving out. which will no doubt be a very quick reality check for her!!! is it wrong to look forward to that (and i already know the answer is yes!!)? i think the big problem is that i'm the younger sibling - if i was older this would be easier. my mum has also got some sporadic work invidulating in exams, so the extra money coming in for very easy work has taken some stress off them. if i was closer to my sister i could talk to her about it, but as we clearly have very different attitudes to life, you can imagine that we don't really get on all that well. hopefully this will all be resolved in the next few months by itself without me risking a family rift! why is it so hard with your own family to do what you can easily see needs to be done....!

Broken_hearted

I never paid board when living with my parents they did ask but I said no. I did pay the phone bill though as I ran most of it up. If my parents had been struggling for money it would have been different.

always_amazed

hey; just thought I'd add my tuppence to this;

I paid my way through uni and paid board when I lived at home and worked full time.
Then, in early 2007, I got very ill and had to take time off sick, which started a yo yo working/hospital/bed rest circle which will go on until probably next April (need a series of operations).
My Dad has been so kind and has not asked for any rent at all during this time. I know he doesn't have to do this at all, as if he wasn't around I wouldn't have that option and would be in serious trouble financially.
But he says he can afford it because he was firm while I could afford it.
xxx

Busybody

misspoppy wrote: »

I posted on the other thread too but I had to pay £45p/w to my Dad and stepmonster this was 1992 and had to go out to work 5 nights a week to have spending money.


Blimey £45 per week in 1992 sounds a lot I get £100 month of my 17 year old, he's on quite a good wage for his age!:o

Penelopa.Pitstop

I never had to pay anything to my parents. They wouldn't take it from me. I started to work when I was 20 and most of my salary was saved and part used for my holidays. My boyfried had to pay around 15% of his salary to his mother, but his family situation was different and I can fully understand it. I moved out from home at 21 to my own flat.

In Poland it's quite normal that parents pay for children education and don't expect any money back before children start to work, depends of course on the family situation.

I'm over 30 now and my mother always wants to give me money or pay for my shopping when I'm with her. I have to fight with her and tell her I can pay for myself. And I'm not in any financial problems, have savings and quite good salary. It's just my mother ... and yes, I'm the only child. I'm not from well off family, just average.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I think if the children have full time jobs then it is reasonable to ask for a small amount of rent and a contribution towards bills, based on what they can afford. This teaches them about responsibility and budgeting. They will get a very nasty surprise when they move out otherwise, and might spend all their rent money down the pub!

If the children are students and working part time to finance their studies then I would not charge them anything as they would need support at this time.

TotallyBroke

When I started work I was on a YTS training course and earnt £35p/w. By working and not staying on at school my parents lost out on approx £7.50p/w child benefit. So that is what they asked for as rent. Then as my wages increased so did theirs. If I got a 2% pay rise they also got a 2% pay rise and so on.