Partner still married 4 years on

annandale

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Be careful Tabby, I've had a post removed and I'm pretty sure I know who reported it. Some people have a lot of time on their hands and don't like being disagreed with.

You don't know who reported it. Admin and mods don't tell anyone who reports posts that are removed.

Why don't you post who you think it was if you are so sure?

Kynthia

It's amazing the number of pensions that are paid out to seperated partners. I would also hate the fact my ex could get privaledge information on my, or my partner's, medical status if I was in hospital, especially if I wasn't able to communicate to the medical professionals that we were no longer together.

However just the fact that I was with someone who was married to someone else would be enough make me feel very unhappy.

gettingtheresometime

meer53 wrote: »

I've been separated for 16 years. Got as far as Decree Nisi then my ex decided he wouldnt play ball with filling in any more forms so it's been left there ever since. He's living his life, i'm living mine. If he wants to divorce me thats fine, but i won't be paying for that ! I don't understand the need for a divorce, my kids are adults now but one was only 2 when we split, i made sure i could provide for them without his help, he stopped paying me maintenance a long time ago and to be honest i couldn't be bothered chasing him for it. His income "fluctuated" mainly due to his dodgy dealings and some "creative accountancy" with the people he worked for so going down the CSA route would have been a waste of time anyway.
I'm not bothered about the fact we're still legally married, if i ever should decide to get married again (highly unlikely !) i'll rethink it but for now, it's not something i think about. I'd just like to thank the poster who mentioned getting the Pension though, my ex paid into his Pension for a number of years, i'd forgotten about that !!

Please make sure you've got a valid will in place in that case

harrys_nan

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Really? I find that astounding (don't mean that in a patronising/horrible way) - but wow that is a long time to still be connected to someone legally and financially..over and above both current partners

So you split up over this other woman? If that was me, I would want to cut ever tie possible, honestly. Mind you, I have never stayed friends with ex's even

I wonder if both new partners are happy they are living with someone elses husband or wife. It wouldn't do for me..but each to their own - I guess it is not something that you think about every day

If i were to be in an accident or someone be asked to give permission for my life support to be turned off...there is no way I would want an ex, over and above my current partner, to be given that choice.

Like one of the posters above, you could inadvertently end up leaving your husband something in your will - as in a pension - rather than going to the man you actually spend your life with. I would be turning in my grave if a decades ago ex, got my hard earned pension, over and above my current partner

Can I ask, the chap you live with now, would you be OK if he was married to someone else, long term? If someone referred to him as their husband

Like I said, not meaning to sound horrible, I know there are some knives at dawn on this thread, but im genuinely interested x

Hi, I am not connected to my(ex) in anyway, he never worked long enough to get a decent pension and I know he will never come after to my small one, I have notified the pension place that I want my partner to have anything if I go first and he has done the same. We have both have kids, he is a widower and he also is not bothered about getting married again.
It was his 2nd marriage as it was mine, so we are both on our 3rd long term relationship. I have been looked after re his house should he go first and this is with his kids blessing, my kids will also benefit from the sale of the house along with all of his kids, I never had a house to sell, too busy keeping a roof over my families head.

I do pay my way, I cannot see any problem at all, but if the worst should happen, then I am more than capable of standing on my own two feet and I also know my kids will never let me struggle, we will both be allowed to make any decisions re each other, both our kids like us both.
I have to say that I can't remember the last time I saw my ex and he has cut himself off from our daughter, my son doesn't want anything to do with him either, so he is the one missing out on our smashing kids and grand kids, the grandsons don't even know who he is, but that was his choice

meer53

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Please make sure you've got a valid will in place in that case

My will was written the day i first visited the Solicitor. Along with the transfer of equity letter for the house.

Silvertabby

harrys_nan wrote: »

Hi, I am not connected to my(ex) in anyway, he never worked long enough to get a decent pension and I know he will never come after to my small one, I have notified the pension place that I want my partner to have anything if I go first and he has done the same. We have both have kids, he is a widower and he also is not bothered about getting married again.
It was his 2nd marriage as it was mine, so we are both on our 3rd long term relationship. I have been looked after re his house should he go first and this is with his kids blessing, my kids will also benefit from the sale of the house along with all of his kids, I never had a house to sell, too busy keeping a roof over my families head.

I do pay my way, I cannot see any problem at all, but if the worst should happen, then I am more than capable of standing on my own two feet and I also know my kids will never let me struggle, we will both be allowed to make any decisions re each other, both our kids like us both.
I have to say that I can't remember the last time I saw my ex and he has cut himself off from our daughter, my son doesn't want anything to do with him either, so he is the one missing out on our smashing kids and grand kids, the grandsons don't even know who he is, but that was his choice

Does your pension provider know that you are still married to someone else? If your pension is LGPS, for example, then your wishes would be disregarded as a survivor's pension can only be paid to a legally married spouse. If you trust that your ex would take the monthly pension and then pay it over to your new partner, then no problem. However.....

harrys_nan

Silvertabby wrote: »

Does your pension provider know that you are still married to someone else? If your pension is LGPS, for example, then your wishes would be disregarded as a survivor's pension can only be paid to a legally married spouse. If you trust that your ex would take the monthly pension and then pay it over to your new partner, then no problem. However.....

The little bit I get isn't worth worrying over, I really don't think my current partner would be worried. I do take your point though so I may just check it out.

Feral_Moon

I was separated from my husband 15 years before we got divorced. He had two children by another partner within that time. They've since married.

harrys_nan

Do I need to fill in a nomination form to make sure my spouse, civil partner or relevant partner receives compensation when I die?
You only need to fill out a nomination form if you wish to nominate a relevant partner who is not your spouse or civil partner.

A relevant partner is someone you are not married to but who you live with as if are married.
For more FAQs about nominating beneficiaries click here.

This is the info from The PPF who pay my pension

chesky

harrys_nan wrote: »

Do I need to fill in a nomination form to make sure my spouse, civil partner or relevant partner receives compensation when I die?
You only need to fill out a nomination form if you wish to nominate a relevant partner who is not your spouse or civil partner.

A relevant partner is someone you are not married to but who you live with as if you are married.

For more FAQs about nominating beneficiaries click here.

This is the info from The PPF who pay my pension

You should contact the trustees of your pension and ask them how to supply them with an "expression of wish". You can then nominate whoever you want to benefit.