Partner still married 4 years on

meer53

I've been separated for 16 years. Got as far as Decree Nisi then my ex decided he wouldnt play ball with filling in any more forms so it's been left there ever since. He's living his life, i'm living mine. If he wants to divorce me thats fine, but i won't be paying for that ! I don't understand the need for a divorce, my kids are adults now but one was only 2 when we split, i made sure i could provide for them without his help, he stopped paying me maintenance a long time ago and to be honest i couldn't be bothered chasing him for it. His income "fluctuated" mainly due to his dodgy dealings and some "creative accountancy" with the people he worked for so going down the CSA route would have been a waste of time anyway.
I'm not bothered about the fact we're still legally married, if i ever should decide to get married again (highly unlikely !) i'll rethink it but for now, it's not something i think about. I'd just like to thank the poster who mentioned getting the Pension though, my ex paid into his Pension for a number of years, i'd forgotten about that !!

Tabbytabitha

annandale wrote: »

Someone else mentioned the word affair. She wasn't having an affair with this man, he was separated and free to have another relationship no matter the textbook definition of adultery

Sorry, I missed that.

However, adultery isn't a "textbook definition", it's a fact. If his wife actually wanted to divorce him and was feeling vindictive, she could do so on the grounds of his adultery with the OP.

" Adultery can be used as the basis for a divorce petition whether you and your spouse are still living together or have separated. Not more than six months must have elapsed since you became aware of the adultery before the petition is sent to the court, unless the adultery is continuing.
http://www.linnitts.co.uk/family-law/divorce/grounds-for-divorce

phryne

Be careful Tabby, I've had a post removed and I'm pretty sure I know who reported it. Some people have a lot of time on their hands and don't like being disagreed with.

Seanymph

It's a personal thing isn't it. I was living with a married man - not to me obviously - and he was admitted to hospital. My decision was made when the 'wife', who he hadn't seen for some six months, called the ward and got chapter and verse.

I, on the other hand, as 'partner', was viewed very differently indeed.

I would worry, in your situation, that as they have agreed money 'without the benefit of legal advice' that that could well be challenged if not legally adopted.

It also means that, I don't know, say he wins the lottery - or gets an inheritance - or a blinding job - or whatever, that when it IS finally organised those figures would also be included in the settlement/discussion.

I'd want any uncertainty removed. Get it legally binding, all sorted out and tidied away. That way nothing can come back later, like his pension going to her, or life insurance - fair enough if, like Neil above, it has been discussed and decided. But I don't like unexpecteds.

System

Yet you responded to this...

Thank you for your well wishes

System

Not me, free to post whatever on here, we can agree to disagree!

System

I think that's a big thing for me, wanting losse ends tied up.

I agree with people who say we need to look at the financial elements and ensure that they are legally binding and set for th3 new circumstances.

Thanks for this

phryne

1234jk wrote: »

Not me, free to post whatever on here, we can agree to disagree!

No, not you

Tabbytabitha

phryne wrote: »

Be careful Tabby, I've had a post removed and I'm pretty sure I know who reported it. Some people have a lot of time on their hands and don't like being disagreed with.

Really? I didn't think I'd posted anything that could possibly offend anybody.

phryne

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Really? I didn't think I'd posted anything that could possibly offend anybody.

The post that someone objected to wasn't offensive either..

I have raised my suspicions with the forum team that 'someone' might be signing in under alias accounts in order to make it look like a lot of people are reporting something.. Very hard to prove, mind you, even if you have access to their IP details. Which I suppose is why they do it!