Being a mature student, a very skint one..

ayupmeduck

I like you am a mature student doing the same course as you (jut finished 2nd year) at a different university. Finance is hard, I get the full student loan but it nowhere covers my bills. I, unfortunately, have the habit of cancelling bank shifts as I just can't face them so I really struggle with paying off debt.

Wish I'd get travel expenses back and our placements graded, we only get pass/fail

JLS1901

ayupmeduck wrote: »

I like you am a mature student doing the same course as you (jut finished 2nd year) at a different university. Finance is hard, I get the full student loan but it nowhere covers my bills. I, unfortunately, have the habit of cancelling bank shifts as I just can't face them so I really struggle with paying off debt.

Wish I'd get travel expenses back and our placements graded, we only get pass/fail

Hello :wave:
It's so hard isn't it, I knew it would be hard but I didn't appreciate how hard it would be. The money situation is so difficult, I go between thinking well I can pay it off when I'm qualified and needing to pay it all off now.

I'm lucky that I've managed to get a weekend job sorted and all the benefits of working in the NHS will bring but I'm so worried I'm gonna mess up doing 7 days a week.

We can do this! I find it so interesting that other places don't grade placements, I rely on these coz I'm not academic at all!

Welly x

JLS1901

I think I've taken on too much. I have uni work coming out of my ears.. doing every weekend I'm gonna have like 1 day off a fortnight.. I know lots of people work and study but I just can't seem to hack the pace..

I feel like I want to give 100% to this and get the grades I know I can instead of getting mediocre marks because I'm exhausted and so busy..
Feel like I totally underestimated how exhausting the drive to uni and back would be every day and then the same distance to work and back.

I also feel like I'm neglecting my relationship.. he works long hours anyway but at present we hardly see each other.

I feel like an absolute failure. Like I set myself up to fail.

Think I'm gonna ask to go on the bank so I can pick and choose when I can do shifts.

I see people working almost full time and doing a degree full time and I hate myself for not being able to be like them, I hate not being able to deal well with stress and fatigue.

Have a good weekend
Welly x

JLS1901

I've referred myself back to counselling at uni.. I'm not in a very good place at all. I'm knackered and to be honest I feel like I'm just existing. I've lost all my passion for anything and I'm just so low.

I put so much pressure on myself to be a good student, to be a good employee, to be a good girlfriend, to be debt free.... I've realised I can't do all of them at once.. that in itself makes me feel like a failure.

Welly x

JLS1901

Got my appointment through for counselling in a few weeks. Just plodding on with uni and trying to do these assignments for the moment. Not decided on the work thing yet just gonna see what happens.

Pay day tomorrow.

Welly x

JLS1901

It's payday, only got my basic wage this month. Not a worry really tho as I have sinking funds in place for christmas and all my car stuff which is coming up.

Next month should be better as I'll get my weekend enhancements and extra 30 hours that I did this month.

After my melt down the other day I've decided I'm just going to go with the job for now. I know that sounds a bit mad but the money is so good and I do enjoy it, I just need to learn to be stricter with my uni work and make more of an effort and give myself set times to chill.

Going to see a counsellor at uni on 10th so talking about things will also help.

If I can get through my placement in January and February I'll be ok. The job would be great for over summer as I'd only have to work an extra day on top of my weekends to make enough to live on and pay my debt which would mean I could spend my time off with my OH and actually having a life.

The thought of being able to pay off my debt in a year is keeping me going.

Welly x

[Deleted User]

Hi Welly,

Just caught up with your diary and I didn't want to read and run.

You are doing fantastic and to be debt free by next year will be amazing.

I think that you are doing the right thing with just doing your job for the moment. There is no point in stressing yourself out and making yourself ill in the process.

Please take care of yourself xx

JLS1901

Deleted_User wrote: »

Hi Welly,

Just caught up with your diary and I didn't want to read and run.

You are doing fantastic and to be debt free by next year will be amazing.

I think that you are doing the right thing with just doing your job for the moment. There is no point in stressing yourself out and making yourself ill in the process.

Please take care of yourself xx

Thanks Purple, I hope you are well?

I'm my own worst enemy at times especially when I'm tired. The job is 2 days a week it's not like I'm there all the time and to be honest I wouldn't find another that pays as well and it will be ideal when things are quieter just got to ride this wave of crazy..

I always get cursed for using this phrase but it will be reet.

Just having a day on the sofa writing my uni assignment

Welly x

JLS1901

Had training at work today so had to miss a day of uni. Training was actually good and I learned some stuff that will be relevant to my job and my uni course.

Finding the 45 min drive each way to uni and work a bit of a ball ache at the moment.. it's tiring and totally messes with my motivation and productivity.

Got a day off tomorrow but going to uni to study and meet a friend who's having a rough time. Also got the last few bits of christmas shopping to get.

Only got this weekend to work and next week at uni then I have the weekend after off for the yearly family christmas get together and 3 weeks off uni so hoping to have a bit of a rest.

Just need to get these assignments done.

Welly x

JLS1901

I've totally had a lightbulb moment. Since having my implant fitted in August my mood has declined rapidly, so rapidly in fact that for the last few months I've thought about how I'd take my own life (just to add I have absolutely no plans on harming myself in any way).

I know these thoughts aren't normal. I've also broken out in massive angry spots, headaches, stomach pains, chest pains and nosebleeds. Granted I can't say for sure it's all down to the implant but it seems strange it's all happened after I had it put in.

So I can't get a doctors appointment until 7th of Jan but I'll fight to have it out.. it seems from looking online I'm not the only one.

I actually wrote an email yesterday to my personal tutor asking to withdraw me from the course.. I'm glad I didn't send it.. I just have no enthusiasm for anything at all it's horrible.

Need to get this thing out and go hormone free for a while I think, I've spent half my life using hormonal contraception, it can't be great.

Have a good day,

Welly x