Made A Terrible Mistake

gomer

Mylife wrote: »

I live in fear of his wife turning up at my door.

Well i live in hope that she does. And soon.


I'll pay for a ringside seat.

onwards&upwards

Mylife wrote: »

Onwards and upwards why would I waste time with such a long post. If you read you will see how I started and the good advice I got. I have updated from time to time.

Just read it, still don’t believe you.

Have you considered writing short stories for women’s magazines, or for Millls and Boon?

pearl123

Mylife wrote: »

i will give a bit more info , he has been married for 17 yrs with 3 children , the youngest is 11.

what a mess

post 60

"He brought 2 of his children,not sure what he told them. I didn't say anything. They are still young and innocent so I doubt they thought much of it other than I was a work colleague."

You stated his young children were too young to understand? He has three children and the youngest is 11. That's secondary school.
So how old are the other children if the youngest is 11?

Have i missed something?

gettingtheresometime

Well I think the OP is a very considerate person; not only did she sleep with a man she knew to be married, she's decided to keep the baby a secret from absolutely everybody except the man's wife but also, probably, considering sleeping with him again so she can provide her child with a sibling who has the same father.

Debbie1980

Mylife wrote: »

Pearl you do not have to reply, what I was saying is in an ideal world it would be better to have children with the same person but obviously I am not in a ideal.

No, it would be better to have a baby with someone you are in a loving, committed and honest relationship with.

gomer

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Well I think the OP is a very considerate person; not only did she sleep with a man she knew to be married, she's decided to keep the baby a secret from absolutely everybody except the man's wife but also, probably, considering sleeping with him again so she can provide her child with a sibling who has the same father.

And we wonder why society is such a mess. I wonder if she's still having sex with him? Wait til the penny drops that he just thought she was 'easy' lol

Pollycat

pearl123 wrote: »

post 60

"He brought 2 of his children,not sure what he told them. I didn't say anything. They are still young and innocent so I doubt they thought much of it other than I was a work colleague."

You stated his young children were too young to understand? He has three children and the youngest is 11. That's secondary school.
So how old are the other children if the youngest is 11?

Have i missed something?

No, pearl123, I don't think you've missed something at all.
I think you've just found a pretty big hole in the OP's 'story'. :T
Or should I say 'Jackanory'? :cool:

Pollycat

Mylife wrote: »

we are still alone but coping fine. He comes to visit but I have resisted getting involved with him. He brought 2 of his children,not sure what he told them. I didn't say anything. They are still young and innocent so I doubt they thought much of it other than I was a work colleague.

Quoted for posterity in respect of pearl123's post about the youngest child being 11.
If the OP thinks 11 year old and upwards are 'innocent', she's got a rocky road ahead as her child grows up. :rotfl:

Savvy_Sue

Mylife wrote: »

I feel for his wife but what can I honestly do without looking spiteful and hurting the children. I could move away and stop him seeing the baby but everyone who gave advice said it would be wrong. Also I might not get a good job . I also don't know how long he will continue supporting us financially. Whilst I can afford I would also need to go back to work full time in that case

I feel for his wife too, but actually I feel for you too. He can effectively blackmail you, both financially ("if I can't see my child I won't support you any more") and emotionally ("please don't tell my wife, think what it will do to my other children.")

His wife is going to find out. Actually she may well have already found out (why did he move in with his sister, I wonder?) and he's probably now told her he'll never see you again, there was nothing in it, you seduced him, or some other tissue of lies.

There is no honesty in your relationship, and I'd want that, even if it meant moving away, starting again, and going back to work.

Mylife wrote: »

to me it seems like there are issues in the marriage.

You think?

Mylife wrote: »

I try not to ask too many questions. His family is lovely and say it's not up to them he is a grown up. I also think because he helps them financially they loathe to say anything. His sister and wife do not get on. I only agreed to visit the family as a one off as I did not want him to take the baby alone.

So he's bribing / blackmailing his own family too ... how lovely.

And how long before he finds a new mistress, and what happens when another one gets pregnant? How many people can he continue to support in this way? And what if the next one is another colleague, and she isn't so discreet and his behaviour is investigated, found wanting, and he loses his job?

gomer

I think the biggest problem here is the OP has dropped her morals (and her drawers) to such an extent that she cannot even see how depraved this whole mess really is. Or how appallingly she's being treated by the man.

She must have really low self esteem. Either that or she's just so desperate for male attention that she'll put up with anything.

OP, if you have any respect for yourself do the decent thing. Keep away from him & his family, go and get another job somewhere else and give the csa his details. Stop making excuses to stay in this situation and keep him coming round while you desperately clutch at straws in the hope you might get more than an occasional bunk up from him. He has used you & now he wants you to help him keep his grubby little secret quiet, and like a stupid lovesick little girl you are doing exactly what he wants.

Think about that for a moment.

I don't know if i should laugh or cry that you think there might be issues with his marriage? Really? No kidding! Could it be something to do with his infidelity do you think? Could the issue be YOU possibly? Just a wild guess like lol

He must have seen you coming.