Made A Terrible Mistake

HampshireH

I did mention to his sister and some friends that I wish I could have another so I can raise them at the same time,they all suggested that I have it with him so both the children have one father and same surname. He has also said he would be happy to have another one. I hope I will meet someone in future.!

So many people know. It's a dangerous place to be. It wont stay secret forever. Kids are innocents..He kids will speak.

I don't think a 2nd with him would be a good idea at all. But i guess thats your call. Not sure why that would be seen as a good thing, planing to have a child with a married man is miles away from accidently falling pregnant. Its far more calculated.

I have read this thread from the start and did feel for you but the recent post has confused me and made me feel really sorry for his extremely innocent and naive wife (unless I have missed something which to be fair wouldnt be the 1st time)

happyandcontented

I cannot help but wonder how his wife will feel when she discovers that all his family (even his children, no matter how young they are) have been seeing you and the baby behind her back and whilst she was in ignorance. Quite frankly, it is very distasteful.

To even consider repeating the action, supposedly with the blessing of his family is even worse.

harrys_nan

Oh dear, I think you have just lost all the good wishes people had for you. His poor wife and you want another baby with him??
Let's hope one of these "trusted" people let the cat out of the bag.
I really wanted you to be happy with the baby, but I'm not interested in your life anymore

gomer

Wonderful situation to bring a second child into.

vroombroom

Wow I had a small bit of sympathy for you until your last post. Now my heart breaks for his poor wife. Bad enough her husband has cheated but the fact there is a baby involved and some of his family know...and he's brought his other kids. Wow, just wow.

I hope you have somewhere to hide if she ever finds out about you two.

Mylife

I feel for his wife but what can I honestly do without looking spiteful and hurting the children. I could move away and stop him seeing the baby but everyone who gave advice said it would be wrong. Also I might not get a good job . I also don't know how long he will continue supporting us financially. Whilst I can afford I would also need to go back to work full time in that case

to me it seems like there are issues in the marriage. I try not to ask too many questions. His family is lovely and say it's not up to them he is a grown up. I also think because he helps them financially they loathe to say anything. His sister and wife do not get on. I only agreed to visit the family as a one off as I did not want him to take the baby alone.



I know it would be ideal to have children with the same person but I have learned my lesson and have no desire to.

Mylife

Harry's nan I'm so sorry,I am disappointed in myself as well. Not a day goes by I dont regret the situation. I feel overwhelmed and I go along with some things ie child support issue just for peace. Believe me I have thought of getting someone to tell the wife but then it's not just her who gets hurt. After birth I felt rejected and I thought of exposing him but what good would that do? I wish I could move away.

gomer

Keep away from him & his family. Go to the csa - he's going to have to pay anyway regardless.

He clearly has no respect for his wife the way he is treating her, and you don't seem to have a great deal of respect for yourself.

seven-day-weekend

I hope his wife knows what lying and cheating relatives she has, never mind her cheat of a husband! The poor woman.

I think he should see (and support) the baby but not behind his wife's back.

What on earth are you going to tell your daughter when she asks? 'Oh daddy can't come to see us too often because he has another family who know nothing about us? Who he lies to and cheats on? We are his dirty little secret'?

You now have a little innocent life to think of, as well as your own selfish ones, but please spare a thought for that poor woman his wife.

I think you should not see him while he is still married to his wife. Go through the CSA for the child and if he wants to see her he will have to make his own arrnagements.

Mylife

If I went to CSA and the wife finds out then the children get hurt. My only option is to stop him seeing the baby,I doubt there is much he can do about it as everything could come out. Also both of us do not want work to find out. The damage is done either way without me making things worse