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MeandO

Thanks all for the supportive words of encouragement. :grouphug:

Yesterday was one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time. I completely broke down and spent most of the day crying thanks to the ex’s actions. I won’t go into the specifics here, but he did something very sneaky and hurtful which left me feeling even more segregated and alone than I already did. The tears were welling in my eyes as I waved DS off in his Dad’s car and as soon as the door shut I sat on my stairs and sobbed my heart out. Later that day the ex then texted me news of his ‘wonderfully happy engagement’ which broke me for the rest of the day. Not because I want anything to do with him or have any feelings towards him, but because his life is falling perfectly into place whilst I am still struggling with the aftermath of the sh*t he has put me through and even now, am affected every day by his lies and the results of those and he shows absolutely no remorse. The worst thing is, most people still don’t have a clue what he did and continues to do. Oh, and he spent X amount of money on a ring, clothes and extravagant meals out and he still owes my parents £30k+. :mad:

OH did his best to calm me down and talk some sense into me, but then this turned into a discussion about our living arrangements and our future. Not a great discussion, but at least an honest and frank one. We love each other very much, but Let’s just say there is no need for any of you to rush out and buy a hat anytime in the future. :undecided

We obviously want different things, but at least we both know where we stand now and I have a better understanding of why OH is like he is. I spoke to a friend today who knows us both. He can’t understand OH’s take on life either, so at least I’m not the only one and it’s not a man thing! I guess I need to decide what is really important to me and what I can accept and live with. The good thing is that it was not an argument, we both talked very honestly and it felt good to get everything out in the open I guess.

Anyway, today is a better day! I have surprised myself as to how well I’ve done today, considering the state I got myself into yesterday.
I worked from home and have eaten well today. Normally feelings of such lowness would drive me to the biscuit tin, but today I felt like being kind to myself.

I made the most of the lovely sunshine and changed DS bed and got the laundry all done and dried on the line. I also managed to whip the hoover round downstairs and organise the Christmas present cupboard a bit better.

Tonight, I’ve cooked a little YS quiche from the freezer to take for my lunch tomorrow and have packed DS’s lunchbox.
YNAB has been updated (under £8 to last me until Thursday :eek::() but everything is paid for.

One of my BIN items sold over the weekend for £7.50. It’ll only be around £4 profit but it’s better than nothing.
Hopefully the remaining 2 or 3 items I have listed will sell very soon too.

Night all x

MeandO

Urgh, back to the doctor’s for me tomorrow - if I can get an appointment that is. I have quite a pain in the upper right of my abdomen, almost under my ribs, and in my back and side. I’ve been feeling sick and had a bad stomach all evening too. I’ve had a dull pain in that side for some time, but it was checked out by a doctor who said it was nothing but the pain seems to have ramped up tonight. I hate to say it sounds very much like my friend’s recent gallbladder issues.

Money wise, I spent £1.65 from my purse today and that has to be it for the week. I have just over £11 in the main bank account and that has to cover postage of an eBay item for around £2.80 too. :eek::o

I’ve made DS’s lunch for tomorrow and put some leftovers in a tub for me to take to work, if I feel like eating.

I’ve just had a hot shower and now am off to sleep. Hopefully an early night will make this pain go away and I can forget it ever happened. :D X

crazy_cat_lady

Just wanted to send you a load of love - I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but it's just not blimming fair is it?

Chrystal

Hope you're feeling better today. (((hugs)))X

MeandO

Thank you both xx

I will post properly soon, just wanted to record that another £50 has been added to the H2S and an overpayment of £29 has been paid off the mortgage.

MeandO

A quick round up for now:

DS and I have been with my parents for a few days again. It gets more and more difficult to leave each time and both of us talk of the dream of moving and living close to them most of the time. My Mum is in a bad way and it breaks my heart. More so to see my Dad so distressed at the state of my Mum. They have been married for over 50 years so the thought of one being without the other is just horrendous.

My Dad very kindly gave me a £50 gift card for groceries or shopping when I was leaving. I feel so guilty they keep spending their money on me. They do and have done so much for us as it is.

A long term BIN item has sold on eBay today. It’ll bring in around £6 in profit which I will pay off the mortgage.

I finally had a refund from sports direct after them receiving the items over two weeks ago. :mad: £57 has gone back onto the credit card.
I ordered some boots for myself as my old pair now leak, but they came today and both pars were pretty awful, so those and a bundle of other bits I ordered have been returned today. That will be around £115 paid back to the credit card. There is around £130 left on it, but I have £60 in my wallet from money owed to me for Christmas shopping I’ve done for other to pay into the bank to go towards that.

The other big news (to me) is that I’ve finally sold mine and the ex’s wedding rings. I couldn’t even look at them for many years as it upset me so much, but with his ‘big announcement’ recently, they now seem pretty insignificant. We paid £1000 for them, I remember it well, but obviously I got a fraction of this back. They have been sent to Hatton garden metals today, so there should be around £340 in my bank account in the next few days. That will go towards the savings and/or mortgage OP so it feels like something positive has come out of them. My engagement ring will be sold on eBay as I will get more for it than cashing it in for the gold value. I just need to find the diamond certificates. I’ll be glad to get them all out of the house now.

My car is making nasty noises. I have booked the MOT for this week, hopefully the noises are nothing expensive.

Feeling quite low at the moment, but I always do when I come back from visiting my family and when DS is with his Dad for a few days. Hopefully my mood will lift as the week goes on and I can hopefully start feeling a little more positive about life.

Chrystal

So sorry about your Mum. (((hugs)))
Don't feel guilty about what your parents give you... it's what parents do. Think about how you feel about DS . You only want the best for him as your parents do for you. X

Glad you've managed to offload some old bad memories (rings) You need to start looking forward in your life and making some plans. They may be long term but it will be something for you to work towards, and hopefully help to keep you focused.

Hope you feel a bit better soon. XX

MeandO

Thank you Chrystal, hugs are much appreciated as is the good advice, as always. xx

Well, I have to say I’m really impressed with service of Hatton Garden Metals. Less than 24 hours after posting the rings off, the money was in my account. £324.26.
I’ve paid £150 of it into my emergency savings fund and paid £190 off the mortgage as an overpayment which means I have hit my mortgage overpayment target of £1800 per year 4.5 months early. :j:D
I’m really pleased with that achievement considering I’m on a part time wage and have such a tight budget.

The remaining few £’s, alongside around £16 earned in bank account interest today, will be thrown at the credit card.

Honeysucklelou2

Well done MeandO, that's a massive achievement to pay £1800 in a year, but to achieve it months ahead of target is amazing .

[Deleted User]

Amazing achievement! Your determination is so inspiring!