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MeandO

DS and I had a wonderful time at the nature reserve yesterday. It was a beautiful sunny day and we spent lots of time 'adventuring', chatting and laughing whilst walking round in the sunshine. It was a 'good for the soul' type of morning and also free, thanks to OH who pays the membership for us. I was gutted when DS's Dad picked him up, but kept busy by putting a bit of screening up in the garden, doing the ironing and some niggly little jobs. I then helped OH with some garden jobs at his so we did feel like we'd achieved a few things yesterday.

The risotto made enough for lunch today for both OH and I as well as feeding us last night. DS and I will be eating form the freezer/cupboard tonight, so no need for any spends today.

I've listed a few more things on FB. One has sold for £5 and has been collected this morning, another has been bought and postage paid, so I will post that within the next few days. The latter item belongs to OH so there's another £10 for his mortgage OP pot.
I've also listed the little ebay pile I had this morning. Nothing of great value and I'm not entirely sure whether any of it will sell. but it's worth a try.

The CB has been paid today so the bank account looks a little healthier. CTC is due on Wednesday but this all needs to last me until payday which will be over 2 weeks away, so I doubt very much I'll be able to hit this month's mortgage OP target.

MeandO

One eBay item of OH’s has sold for £6, so that’s another £6 towards his mortgage pot and a bit more space cleared.
A friend is coming on Friday to pick up another item she is buying for £10 too.

As soon as money comes in, unexpected expenses pop up don’t they... this time in the form of a school event (£2 donation), plus ‘fancy dress and other bits needed for the said event. I’m hoping to get everything we need from home bargains tomorrow to keep costs down. We also need a few household and grocery bits I can hopefully pick up from there too.
DS has also been invited to a party this week, so a gift is needed. I did mention the above school and party expenses to the ex earlier with the suggestion of going halves, but there was no response. I am tired of dealing with him, it is easier if I just do these things myself. That way I can also guarantee DS won’t miss out.

I’ve made DS’s packed lunch for tomorrow and prepped a slow cooker sausage casserole for tomorrow’s tea which I can shove on in the morning. It should make several meals, so some will probably go back in the freezer or be taken for lunches this week.
I’ve just had a crusty roll, cheese and grapes for tea as haven’t beeen hungry this afternoon.

Now off to shower and wash my long locks so I have more time in the morning. I’m attempting to be organised, not sure how long it will last though...

MeandO

One of my eBay BIN’s has sold tonight for £11.50, so it’s been transferred to the bank account and a small overpayment of £11.73 has been sent to the mortgage, rounding it down to £103,099 exactly. I wish I had some way of finding that £99 this month, but it is seeming very unlikely.

I’ve updated YNAB and things are still very tight until the child tax credits are paid on Wednesday, but at least everything is accounted for. I’m luckier than most and I am so thankful for everything I have.
DS and I were having a conversation about the homeless tonight which was started due to the thundering pouring rain outside. I always have a pang of sympathy (if that’s the right word) for homeless people, particularly when the weather is so bad, and it prompted quite a deep and meaningful between DS and I. I am so proud of the sensitive, caring and loving child that he is and so very thankful that he is my son. He will grow to be one of the good people in this world, of that I am sure. ❤️

MeandO

Although the tax credits have yet to hit the account, I’ve already allocated the payment in YNAB. I was getting a bit concerned about how I was going to fare financially for the rest of the month, so it put my mind at rest a little by planning things.

I’ve repaid the maintenance fee account the £58 I borrowed from it last week.
I should also hopefully be able to send £50 to the credit card on top of the £126 in the gifts savings pot. I’m a bit annoyed, as this would normally get thrown towards the mortgage overpayments, but this way I have got a good haul of Christmas gift buying started already.

Today, £10 has gone towards a birthday gift for DS’s friend this week. I also spent £17 in cash in HB on some fancy dress bits and a costume for DS for an event; a huge pack of loo rolls, a birthday card, tissues, dry shampoo, and probably a few other bits and pieces. That’s my purse empty now.

I have wrapped, paid for the postage and labelled the eBay, FB and Sports direct parcels now for posting. OH is kindly dropping three of them off for me tomorrow, the SD one I will drop at a shop for collection near DS’s school tomorrow.

The sausage casserole was OK but I find everything tastes the same when cooked in the slow cooker. The was a large portion left over for one or two lunches though.

OH went yellow sticker hunting tonight and brought in lots of bargains, including a block of cheese for 9p and samosas for 7p! He also picked me up some milk which he then wouldn’t take the money for, so I have a free 2 pints of milk! We have frozen a pizza and a quiche he bought for pennies and will use some ys chicken breasts, samosas and a few other bits for food tomorrow.

I have asked the ex to pay half towards DS’s trainers and lots of other things DS has needed and I’ve bought lately. It’s added up to around £85 - £90, but I have sent receipts for around £70 worth of items as I have been accused of ‘deliberately buying all the school uniform just to ask him for money’ in the past. I kid you not! If it was left to him, DS would not have what he needed, nothing would get done and the only person who suffers in all that is DS.
Why should I pay for it all too? I work part time, he pays me very little towards DS, less than half of what the CSA website recommends and he has £90k in the bank, of which, £30k+ is owed to my parents. He can afford shiny new phones and to eat out as a family of 5 every week and there are two full time wages going into that house. I can not afford it all.
He has replied that he will pay the £35, but I will have to wait two weeks for it until payday. Can you see why it’s not worth the hassle and I just do these thing myself most of the time?!

I have had my appointment for ‘investigations’ to check whether anything is wrong. I’m really scared. They have also said I will get the results as to whether anything has been found on the same day, so This time next week at least I will know whether I am in the clear or whether something is wrong. I’m trying to be positive.
DS has also had his hospital appointment, for the day before mine. I have sent a copy to the ex and told him I will be there and asked him to let me know whether he will also be attending. I have had no reply.
Just like i’ve had no reply of the photo DS wanted me to send his Dad in his new fancy dress. Poor DS, he was excited to show his Dad who has read it and not bothered to respond. I give up.

I’ve made DS’s lunch for tomorrow and snaffled some YS goodies from OH for mine. DS and I are heading to a shop after school tomorrow to find him the last bit of his fancy dress he’d like and I also need to cancel an item I ordered from next for the house and decided I couldn’t afford. It was only £12, but that’s £12 that can go to better as at the moment.

X

Honeysucklelou2

Well done to your OH for finding those YS bargains!

You have my sympathies about paying for children's needs. I rarely get a contribution towards children's things from my ex...it's so frustrating.

Thinking of you re the appointment.

MeandO

£211.65 paid off the credit card leaving £128.50 on there after the sports direct refund. The gift account is now empty though.
£35 of that cc payment was from the ex who actually paid me today...

Today has been a worrying day. It has more or less been confirmed by the boss that our department is living on borrowed time and redundancies are inevitable, most likely for the whole department.
It’s not if, it’s when. I’m devastated.
Anyhow, crying isn’t going to help me, so first things first, I need to job hunt. I have been looking today and it’s not promising.

Second, I need to get rid of the credit card, hence the big payment today. I also need to buy more gifts and the gift account is empty so i’m not sure how to go about that atm. Perhaps i’ll have to use some of the savings?

Third, I need to sell this house ASAP and eat something much cheaper. I have around £110k in equity in this house (that’s based on selling the house for around £117k and losing £8k on what I paid for it and not including fees etc, so probably closer to £100k. If I can find a house for around £150 - £160k, my mortgage will be almost half of what it is now and I can afford to take the pay cut inevitably heading my way.

Fourth. I feel like I need to cry my eyes out and wonder what the heck I did to the universe as it’s obviously very much against me.

When I got home today I had my annual statement from my life insurance. I have critical illness cover too, so if I do have what they’re testing me for on Monday, at least I’m covered. An awful way to look at it, I know, but the way things are going for me, I feel thatothing is going to ever go right again.

Honeysucklelou2

MeandO, so sorry to read about your day. What a shock for you...thinking of you and hoping the brighter times ahead will be soon . Well done for looking ahead at job vacancies....does LinkedIn help?

crazy_cat_lady

You just seem to get battered with one thing after another. Keep plodding my lovely...
I can't do anything useful but I do hope that everything turns out ok and you get a fab job, fab home and excellent health for you and all of your family.
As for your ex - I have lots I would like to say but I'd start by reporting him to the child maintenance people. How dare he think it's ok to question everything when he's not even paying his fair share. The behaviour of ex's never, ever surprises me any more unfortunately.

MeandO

Thank you both.

I'll be honest, I feel like I've been beaten from every angle at the moment, like I've been put in a tumble dryer for a few weeks...

OH has been trying to help me get a foot in the door with a job in the same building he works in. It is a fantastic job which sounds so exciting and that I would love, with a salary to match, but after an informal chat over the phone with the Director today, it was clear that I just don't have the qualifications or relevant experience and the flexibility for picking DS up from school isn't there.
I confess to putting the phone down and bursting into tears. I was so excited about that job, it would've changed my life.

It has spurred me on to look at doing a very relevant and desirable course to give me the qualification needed for future jobs like this. Bad news is it costs around £500 - £600, if not more.

Moneywhizz

I read your diary often and am sorry to hear of all the things that are going wrong for you. It is hard to deal with one or two things when you are a single parent but when so many things happen one after the other it is no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. You sound like a great parent and always put your DS first. One thing I would say though is that I think you are very hard on yourself and deprive yourself of things that might make life a bit more bearable. I understand that you want to pay down your mortgage but maybe it is time to think about the present and use that money to fund things like a training course that would open up new opportunities for you to move careers and hopefully enjoy your work more.