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crazy_cat_lady

Hey :wave:
Just popping in to say that you're doing brilliantly. Hang on in there - times have been tough recently and you've been through a massive amount of change. But you've never given up.
As for your ds and his dad. I often feel similarly about my kids and their dad but there really isn't anything you can do, other than let your son know that you love him and that you'll always be there. Kids aren't daft - they end up making their own minds up, and your ds will see at some point that it's not him, and not you and just his dad. I hope that I've instilled a lot of strength and resilience into them to bring some positive aspects out of their experience of their dad. From what I see of you, I imagine that you do the same for your ds - he has an excellent role model in you.

MeandO

Thank you CCL, your post really helped spur me on a little, it meant a lot, thank you, especially considering you're having such a cr&ppy time of it too lately. Sending you lots of hugs xx

MeandO

£12 refunded back into the account from one of the parcels I returned. £25 pending for refund too.

DS has decluttered a little more at our house and so I have listed some of the things he no longer wants on eBay/FB/gumtree. One sold rather quickly far for £23, obviously to someone who buys and sells these things on for more money. I think I should have listed it for more but I paid attention to the 'currently trending' price eBay suggested when I listed it. :mad: Nevermind, it is money in his savings that he didn't have before and a rather bulky item cleared. He wants to spend £12 of it, which is fine.

The friend who was buying a lot of other items has annoyed me slightly - didn't like the really generous price I suggested for a huge amount of stuff - lots new and could have got a lot more selling to a non-friend or on eBay - so now doesn't want half of it. :mad: The stuff they do want, they still haven't been in contact about so if I don't hear soon I will list it again. :mad:

The other items I've listed have yet to sell, hopefully they will soon.

A set of 3 items of OH's have potentially sold via FB too. I say potentially, as I'm not sure the person collecting will actually show tomorrow, they seem a bit odd. We'll see. It will be good to get these things out of the way for him though as they're taking up a lot of room.

i have decided that I will FORCE MYSELF to do a car boot sale soon. I loathe doing it, but I have a load of stuff now that probably won't sell on FB, is small bits and pieces, but is too good to give away. I will save stuff up in a box somewhere and try and coax a friend to do one with me soon.

I've just updated YNAB. I have let it go slightly this week and had lots of little spends to record. All done now and there is still a little money in the account.

Tax credits sent me an unexpected payment of around £40 today - after all that fuss, looks like they didn't pay me enough last year. They have also increased my monthly tax credits by around £16pm on their last figure. Still £40 per month down from what I was getting, but I can make cuts and manage. The overpayments will be down though.

I took breakfast and lunch to work today and am working from home tomorrow so no need to get anything ready. this week I will NOT buy any food or drink from the canteen no matter how tempting it is.

DS seems to have grown out of several pairs of his jeans all at once, so I will need to budget in some money for clothing for him out of next month's payday (next week). Hopefully a couple of pairs will suffice for now, but as clothes invariably go missing and aren't seen for weeks when they go to his Dad's, I may need to buy more.

The ISA has gone down by another £95 - I needed to replace a door in the house with a glazed one to stop the kitchen from being so cave-like. I've been looking at them since I moved in and was going to wait, but was on offer and I found a cash back code too, so ordered it with money from savings. This will be topped back up to £4k when I get paid.

Not much else to report, have a good week all. xx

MeandO

A £9 OP sent to the mortgage from the bank account, just to round it down a little and so I feel like I've actually achieved something today, no matter how small.
I have lots of things that need doing and are on 'my list' but don't seem to get round to doing them - or need help and don't really have anyone to help me. Lots of frustrations at the moment.
It's tough being 'solo' and being responsible for everything at times.

MeandO

So, I removed the existing door and have taken the handle and lock off as I will reuse on the new door. I’ve made a start on chiselling the recesses out for the hinges (also reused from the existing door and frame).
I also found the big tub of tile adhesive in the garage that I brought from the last house and have made a start on tiling the kitchen. I figured if I do a bit at a time then everything won’t seem like such a daunting task.

I ordered the barefoot investor book at the weekend and that arrived today. I’ve already read a bit of it and seems really interesting. Looking forward to reading the rest of it.

Honeysucklelou2

Well done you, on knowing where to start with replacing the door! Chiselling the recesses has to be one of the trickiest DIY jobs.

Am intrigued about the barefoot investor book after reading about it on Xspender's diary.

Well done on the overpayment.

MeandO

My Dad was a carpenter HSL, so I’ve practically grown up with a saw and chisel in my hand! This is the first time i’ve attempted this though and i’d be lying if I said I knew what I was doing, so we’ll see how it goes...

Barefoot investor - I was impressed and motivated at first, but it is VERY much geared towards an Australian audience and revolves around what they call a ‘Super’ which, from what I can gather is a pension contributed by the government or employer?
The other theory is to split your income 60/20/10/10 - 60% bills and essentials, 20% savings for ‘firefighting’ when things go wrong in the house/car, 10% savings for hols/events/planned things to save for and ‘splurge’ the remaining 10% on short term things.
Oh, and have a ‘mojo’ or emergency savings/mortgage savings pot etc of a few thousand.
Whilst I understand the idea, it left a lot of questions - for example, my ‘essentials’ are more than 60% of my income. The advice given in the book in that scenario was to look for savings - I already have! That is with savings!
Then, the percentage savings accounts didn’t allow for things like paying the car tax, insurances, Christmas gifts etc from what I could understand, so I don’t see how that fitted in and to which ‘pot’. I haven’t read it through completely, but from what I have read, I find it very much aimed towards couples more than the single Mum who works part time and doesn’t have the option to ‘freelance’ (his one recommendation for doubling or tripling your salary...), although he does mention a couple of case studies on us single folk.

MeandO

The tax credits are in so i’ve topped up the YNAB categories that needed a little extra in and spread the rest out across a few pots:

£45 to the ISA/EF, so now at £3950.
£35 to the birthdays and Christmas fund
And £20 paid off the mortgage as an OP.

That’s brought the mortgage down to £104,970 and I’m only around £11 away from hitting the halfway mark of my mortgage overpayment challenge for the year. It’s taken me 3 months to get here and I was hoping to overpay £1800 by the first anniversary of the mortgage in March. I’ll be so pleased if I can get that target smashed before 2019 is out, but that may be a bit ambitious.

Another item of DS’s sold tonight for £20 which has gone into his savings.

My Mum and Dad very kindly sent us £10 today to ‘buy ourselves an ice cream’ this weekend! They are so thoughtful:happyhear:happyhear

OH came over yesterday and today with a load of free food left over from a work’s conference. It was going to be thrown out :mad:, so he brought it home for us. It has fed us for two days now, dinner and lunches, and there’s still some left in the fridge for tomorrow.
I can’t abide waste and am always grateful for free food, especially when it’s so lovely!

MeandO

Before purchasing the last house that gave me all the problems, I was going through the process of purchasing a beautiful house that was easily going to be mine and DS's forever home. It was perfect for us and I fell in love with it instantly. It had everything we needed, it was definitely 'the one.' I became friendly with the vendors and I remember one day they showed me round the garden and told me all about the different plants and the wonderful grape vine that was loaded with fruit. I remember standing in the garden, thinking how happy we'd be here and how much I was looking forward to the future.

Then, my buyers lost their buyer and I subsequently lost the house. The very next day, the chain was re-instated so I excitedly phoned the agent to let them know, but the house had been snapped up by someone else already. I was devastated and often think of that house.

Today, 3 months after I moved into this overpriced new build that makes me feel so blue and that I only bought out of desperation and horrible circumstances, I find that the 'forever house' is on the market again. It's been knocked around by the new owners and over £20k added to the price. :mad: In my opinion, they have devalued it and it is not as nice as it was, but it doesn't matter what I think, I can't buy it now anyway.

I'm angry and upset with the world today.
Why could this house not have come up a few months earlier when I was desperately searching for somewhere for DS and I to live after the turmoil of the last place?

I am feeling utterly defeated.

MeandO

Back to reality - it's payday so the usual money-shuffle has been done.

£50 to the EF, £50 to H2S, £100 to the car pot, £50 to the gifts pot and £13 to the maintenance fee pot. There is no spare cash for the holidays pot at the moment.

No further FB or eBay sales and no word from the friend who asked me to keep all the items for them. :mad:

We came back from a weekend away yesterday. It was ok, but not much of a break as the beds were uncomfortable so we didn't get much sleep and the rest of the accommodation was just about passable. OH and I had a row one day too and he disappeared for a couple of hours. The row was over something trivial, but it was his critical attitude and behaviour towards me and DS that really got my back up. He managed to ruin that day for us all and it has left me seriously doubting our relationship completely despite clearing the air the next day, more for DS's sake than anything else.

I need to fill the car up today as it's running on fumes. I also need to pick up a few bits of groceries but will try and avoid that for as long as possible to make the pennies stretch.

God, I hope life gets better soon.