taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Didn't get around to buying the bonds so will do it on monday.
Did open a virgin money account , I need to hold some of this cash seperately , also NM usually transfers me money every month to build up for his builds and I'm aware when I go for a mortgage my account may be looked in too and this may generate a query , so I was going to use this account for that purpose too. It just seems tidier this way and I am now sitting on the amount gaurenteed by the government should banks hit trouble. 
Made contact with my mortgage broker regarding what I would like to do going forward , thought it was worth sounding him out on it just to make sure its viable. Haven't heard anything back from him but there is no rush.

efes_shareholder

Sister has been in without a word to me , usually she touches base with her work schedules etc but she hasn't done that so maybe i'm on the naughty step too. 
No longer going to discuss I am just going to tell her when I wont be here and let her work it out.

DancingInTheRain

Hope you get some time to relax over the weekend, at least the house sale is all sorted now so the door can be closed on that chapter.
Take care xx

efes_shareholder

Got away about 1ish yesterday and was back by 11 today , going back to NM's after mums medication tonight and sister will come after work but to be honest , it never feels like much of a break , not that I'm not grateful - just seems I'm the one who is going to need a holiday when this is all over. Nieces still didnt visit this weekend , I'm conversing with my sister a bit more but only because it doesnt make a good environment for mum otherwise - Niece passed her driving test and I've already been tapped up to help her with her car purchase. I'm annoyed with her for not visiting  but I seem to be agreeing to helping her , I think its just in my nature I don't know.
Managed to purchase my max  in prem bonds , cant wait for the July draw , I'm dreaming of big things !!
Spoke to a friend who is a financial advisor , basically to sound out about buying this house , it doesn't work quite how I thought it would which is disapointing and I don't understand fully so he is going to put it in an email to me using simple terms. I'd have to put more money in then just obtaining the mortgage and paying the equity loan off..............
I thought it would be a simple case of paying the equity loan off , obtaining a mortgage to buy my sisters share ( which I may need to top up ) and off we go , what I have left from my family home sale after this is my renovation budget  but its not as straightforward apparantly 
it leaves the revamp budget tight but I think doable but obviously I can't get any indication of tradesman prices etc with mum here as its not quite what you do.
I so live by plans and things to look forward too , I have a plan A , plan B , plan C etc for everything I do in life so feel completely up in the air right now.

efes_shareholder

My stomach pain has returned with avegance this weekend , along side my lady visitor. it seems much worse at that time and I can't help but wonder if there is a link - I literally could not move on saturday , it took the wind out of my sails completely 
Getting so nervous about the camera investigations , I really don't want to have them but I know I have too. It is as if it has gained some legs to remind me that I can't bottle out of these tests. typically NM is suggesting we have a lovely dinner next weekend but I can't as I have to eat a really low residue restricted diet so its on hold as a reward for being a good girl and getting it done !!! 

efes_shareholder

Got over to NM's around 8pm last night 
Have discovered the app "too good to go" and for the last 2 days have collected bags from Greggs , £2.50 a bag , first day was a box of doughnuts , 2 baquettes , and 2 steak bakes , yesterday was 2 boxes of doughnuts , along with a further 3 fancy ones , a danish bun and a baguette - I may have to delete the app as I don't need to buy this food ( you dont know what you are getting ) and generally its sugary stuff which will increase my waistline but it is a great idea. They also do them at supermarket sections of local petrol stations so I may try one of those. 
Renewed my car insurance today , got the renewal price down a further £100 by  calling and asking for a discount , also swapped my named driver to NM. I'm paying all up front rather then in installments so thats a nice win.
Still trying to get some guidance on the mortgage process to retain mums house , it really rests on whether I have to put down additional deposits or whether they will take my 50% share as the deposit - If I have to find further to put down other then clearing the equity it will leave things really tight and I may be better to reconsider 

efes_shareholder

Little update whilst I am waiting for the 2nd house call from the doctor this week , mum is bringing up phelgm and generally feels quite unwell so Macmillans have suggested a GP visit just in case its a chest infection.
I feel ridiculously tired for the 2nd day on the trot , fingers crossed for an early night.
Still haven't managed to get rid of the uncollected recycling , unlikely tonight now I'm waiting on a house call. To be honest I just want a little nap !
As I'm pretty much housebound  its another NSD , I have £200 until payday next friday and 200 odd miles in my fuel tank so that should see me through.
Nothing much planned for the weekend as I won't be able to go very far due to the nature of the prep for my procedure and the restricted diet makes eating out pretty pointless too. Feeling quite nervous about the whole thing.I'd like to just wake up when its all over. 

consumer_help_please

Hello lovely,
I haven't been on but I've just done a massive read of it all to catch up. You just never get to stop do you? Even when you're not with your mum you're doing something. 
Regards the upcoming cameras I am pleased its happening. However I wonder if maybe you could get a sedative to get you through to it? See if you could get a prescription while you're waiting? 
I don't think you were overreacting. NM doesn't realise how hard it really is for you to carve out that time with him. I don't blame you for feeling angry. It's very frustrating. You know no malice was meant but it still hurts. Of course. 

Your sister is another matter entirely. How you haven't smacked her head into the wall I don't know. You have the patience of a saint. And don't give a penny towards that bloody car. They can get that from their mum when she's wasting her inheritance.
Like you I'm confused as to why the mortgage for your mums place would become more complicated. I'd be tempted to have the house valued now. Take away the full cost of the settlement figure, divide by two then have a set figure be her inheritance on the will. For example I leave efes_shareholder my house and sister £60,0000. Make it easier for you to execute. I've seen people execute wills over the phone. Xxx

Kitten868

I don't know how I managed that. That was me on an old email. Haha xxx

efes_shareholder

consumer_help_please said:

Hello lovely,
I haven't been on but I've just done a massive read of it all to catch up. You just never get to stop do you? Even when you're not with your mum you're doing something. 
Regards the upcoming cameras I am pleased its happening. However I wonder if maybe you could get a sedative to get you through to it? See if you could get a prescription while you're waiting? 
I don't think you were overreacting. NM doesn't realise how hard it really is for you to carve out that time with him. I don't blame you for feeling angry. It's very frustrating. You know no malice was meant but it still hurts. Of course. 

Your sister is another matter entirely. How you haven't smacked her head into the wall I don't know. You have the patience of a saint. And don't give a penny towards that bloody car. They can get that from their mum when she's wasting her inheritance.
Like you I'm confused as to why the mortgage for your mums place would become more complicated. I'd be tempted to have the house valued now. Take away the full cost of the settlement figure, divide by two then have a set figure be her inheritance on the will. For example I leave efes_shareholder my house and sister £60,0000. Make it easier for you to execute. I've seen people execute wills over the phone. Xxx

haha , its funny I knew it was you and hadn't clocked the user name ......weird.
Funny . my BF mentioned similar with the will , mums all for me keeping the house but I don't think she wil even consider changing her will as as far as she is concerned its all in place , I also don't want to put any pressure on her to do so as it could be challenged that I've done so and she was in ill health , heavily medated etc even though she is defo still on the ball. Mum will also want us both treat excatly the same and wont want to be seen to favour either of us.  I've since got advice on the boards and from a few others in the world of finance and they are off the opinion that my share of the house would be counted as my deposit. Looking in to it further.100% decided I wont pay the equity release loan off as it will put us in the tax inheritance bracket so there is nothing to be gained.
The sister  , lets just say I've truely seen her and her clan for what they are , entirely selfish and self absorbed , I've had to converse with her as its not nice for mum to have a toxic environment but I won't be giving her so much consideration and I shall be telling her rather then asking ..............I'm not being asked for money towards her entitled princess's car , just I'm quite clued up on what you should look for when buying cars and also have a great relationship with a local mechanic as he has dealt with my fleet at work for over 13 years , he is looking at her car of choice and giving it the once over for free , thanks to me basically but I won't be inputting any more as she still hasn't visited nan , neither has her sister , both 10 minutes walk away.
NM was just absent minded , on another evening it wouldn't have mattered , I just dont think he expected me to be able to get over so didnt mention taking the extra shift , he said he would make it up to me by taking me to dinner so i'll hold him to that. Its not easy for him either as now things are opening up , we are getting social invitations from friends and I'm never sure I can go , An example its his best friends wife surprise birthday on saturday , over 40 minutes drive for us but logisitics mean I can only really stay for an hour or so if I do go with him which he would like but is it worth it and its disruptive to him if he also has to leave early so it would probably be better to take 2 cars. That arrangement is also with my sisters help as I also have to go out for a covid test for my procedure but maybe more could be achieved if her daughters stepped in but oh well  , they are princesses and shall sit in their tiaras instead.
Anxiety is at a high for monday , as if the pain funny enough , a month ago I was banging on the table for it and now I want to curl in to a ball and hope the pain goes away , I have been told I will be fully sedated so thats good. NM is picking me up and bringing me back and I will stay at his until the following day. I was very considerate and arranged it on my usual rest days , missed a trick there I should have got an extra day out of it !!!