taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

money wise , not a huge amount to report - still around the same with daily budget , however have needed to tap in to it for medication for my own troublesome digestion. Pain in my lower left stomach which is a constant dull ache and feels different to previous ibs bouts so i've spoken to my doctors and he has perscibed antibiotics and suspects diverticulitis so picking this perscription up and also some anti acids and pain killers pretty much takes care of todays allowance. I've also asked for some blood tests etc as i havent had any for some time and in the circumstances doesnt seem unreasonable to get myself an MOT.
Message from EX to say he has had an offer accepted on a property which completes the chain and asking for my solicitor details to deal with getting the cash to me upon sale. Didn't realise this would be needed but I guess it makes sense in ensuring that the deed is executed correctly and also with money laundering rules etc. The guy who drafted the declaration for me is going to deal with it and estimated its an hours work for him ................£235 plus VAT - wish i had his job !!! Potentially I could get this cheaper however its seems easier to let my man handle it from start to finish as he has a full history on the case. 
The objective is to get the sale completed by the end of the stamp duty holiday which I really hope is extended. I also hope to see a dip in prices but that doesn't look like its happening despite covid.
Once I know mums prognosis I need to look at all options going forward. I don't like to think about it but we have to be prepared. Lots of different scenerios re my future going through my head and lots of "what ifs" so I guess we wait until we know what we are dealing with with her health and we go from there. I do have a friend who is a financial advisor on standby who I will be tapping up once there is a clearer picture. 
I know my middle sprog wants to come with me as her dad is moving some distance away and although my other two offspring think she should take the oppurtunity to get gain some independance I appreicate thats not as easy when you are on a relatively low income in an area with a high cost of living ...............there will be a transition between the house completing and me being able to invest so she may have a period where she has to go with her dad and have a longer commute. If mums prognosis is bleak I will find it difficult to leave her at that time so another option is to get the spare room sorted for middle and get the awful bathroom at home renovated to make the house more bearable - this would need to be done when the house was eventually sold anyway. like i said lots of scenerios in my head

enthusiasticsaver

Unfortunately the stamp duty holiday is what is keeping prices high.  Not sure that was the Rishis objective but people who wanted to move and could if they had a stable income have been bolstering the housing market rather than letting prices fall to a more sustainable level.  I hope you get some answers soon to your mums health issues.  Have you got a power of attorney sorted out for her? 

efes_shareholder

no ES , I don't know if I can do that once we know if its needed or whether its something I should sort out anyway.
My friend recently sorted this out for my ex bf family before he passed away - Hes who I am going too but I'd like a bit more clarity on the situation before I do.
If its not good news I'm considering paying off the equity release on the house so that the house doesn't have to be sold within a time scale , it is something mum and I have spoken about before 

Kitten868

Flipping heck. You're spinning about 40 plates of alternative scenarios and considerations - no wonder you're stressed! I would be too! 
I completely agree that you need to hold tight until you got a prognosis for your mum. Do you know what her will is? Straight down the middle for you and your sister or fiddling about for grandkids? That sounded awful sorry but I'm trying to think of how to have a sit still and wait it all out version for you. I like knowing that I can just sit still and decide much much later. I never do but I like to know I can. 
Obviously I'm hoping for you and your mum that she has something that can be treated and she can get back to her life and you to yours. 
Good idea sticking with the bloke as a solicitor and £300 well spent for piece of mind and getting everything over and done xxxxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Flipping heck. You're spinning about 40 plates of alternative scenarios and considerations - no wonder you're stressed! I would be too! 
I completely agree that you need to hold tight until you got a prognosis for your mum. Do you know what her will is? Straight down the middle for you and your sister or fiddling about for grandkids? That sounded awful sorry but I'm trying to think of how to have a sit still and wait it all out version for you. I like knowing that I can just sit still and decide much much later. I never do but I like to know I can. 
Obviously I'm hoping for you and your mum that she has something that can be treated and she can get back to her life and you to yours. 
Good idea sticking with the bloke as a solicitor and £300 well spent for piece of mind and getting everything over and done xxxxx

Hi Kitten

I don't mind ,, its pratical to consider everything
last i knew it was a 50/50 split between myself and my sister however my mum did say if i cleared the equity loan she would change this to reflect this , I know ideally she would want us to retain the house
yep im spinning lots of plates , it may be futile and i honestly hope it is but when I have such a big lump due its imperative that i invest it as wisely as i can 

efes_shareholder

in my mind , if it worse comes to worse , I sit tight , sort the bathroom , get the spare room sorted for middle sprog and potentially clear the equity , then its discussion time or its discussion time before these are done.

efes_shareholder

Feeling a bit overwhelmed again tonight , came back from NM's , picked mums painkillers up from chemist - shes had a particulary bad day. She was relatively ok when I went over there on Sunday afternoon but looks very frail tonight
she is struggling to even keep fluids down , I'm at a loss what to try next but she mentioned fancying ice lollies so I will be picking up some tomorrow as i'm now pretty worried about dehyrdation.  
This covid crisis obviously doesn't help , I'm sure we would have been dealt with sooner without it and also I would have considered taking her to A&E but I dont really want to do that with covid rife in the hospitals and I'm pretty sure she won't want to go !!!! 
I can see how much shes struggling and is always at the end of her tether with the symptons and I feel so helpless as I don't know what to do for the best , shes getting upset as she feels she is a burden , have made it crystal clear that she certainly isnt and is quite obviously not well. 
Fridays scan cant come quick enough as its getting progressively worse.
Doesn't help that sister is isolation so cant see what I can see , I'm a bit annoyed that she hasn't checked in with me much to check the situation despite being aware ...................I may be being stubborn but I won't be contacting her , I want to see how long it takes her to bother.
Also got my tablets , my pain has eased up but I will be taking them - the chemist advised me no alcohol and having had them before and not listened I know that advise is not to be ignored so I've decided tonight I need wine and I will start the course tomorrow.
So many scenerios going through my mind , seems every time I seem to get a focus on ,  life throws me a curve ball 

lucielle

Sending some (()) Efes as I feel you need them
L

efes_shareholder

lucielle said:

Sending some (()) Efes as I feel you need them
L

thanks lucielle , Hugs are always good and very much appreicated

Kitten868

You're in my heart and in my thoughts. It sounds so hard to navigate. I'm like you and sometimes the stress of it overwhelms me so much that I can't think logically to deal with it. It must be tortuous trying to get to Friday. I want to have something to say to you. Ice cubes are good for dehydration I think. Or ice chips. It was probably ice chips. I definitely think ice lollies are a good idea. 
She might be looking frail but she can turn the corner looking better just as quick once you start getting treatment for her. Xxx