taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

alt80 said:

@efes_shareholder thanks. Yeah I hope I can sort myself out with it all tbh. Not lost hope yet better late than never eh? 😆

Tomorrow is a brand new day. 
I know lots of people who have liked the same thing , I've been offered it many times in the past but knowing my own flaws and how addictive I can find things I've always refused ...............mainly because I know if I like it i could potentially have a problem. Never ever judged them for it just been mindful of the problems we have had in our family when making my own choices. 
You can do it , theres an army behind you cheering you on.............small steps and you'll get there , Rome wasn't built in a day as they say

Kitten868

Hope you've got most of the stuff and today can just be spent unpacking. And I hope all the stuff from your aunt works wonders xxxx

efes_shareholder

we did 3 car loads this weekend and although there is much more to go we have all weekend this weekend and a spare set of keys now, We can't unpack as she still has some personal stuff to get out but that is the easy part and where the place is much closer to my work and house I can always go along when he is working. We at least are feeling like we are breaking the back of it. I've never known a man with so many possessions but a lot of things like kitchen stuff can't be shifted until pratically the last minute.
Hes doing another run at the moment and I'm WFH at his but have already put a chicken in the oven to roast , cooked a curry and half a chicken fajita pie , washed up and done two washes so its been quite a productive morning - the room looks like its been broken in too but you can't have everything. 
Made a school girl error as I bought two bottles of M&S cranberry and Orange bucks fizz at xmas on the recommendation from my daughter believing it to be non alcoholic, NM finally opened it this morning and had some and said " try it" I took one mouthful and then he asked was I sure it no alcohol , when I checked the label it was 4% , Ive been on the antibiotics im on before and drunk when I was told not and was as sick as a pig so now im leaving it as long as possible before I take my tablets today , I know its only a mini amount but I do feel slightly sick this morning now.
weekend spend of £3.00 for two balls of string to tie up bags for packing and £9.00 on medications and vape fluids so not so terrible. Will need to refuel the car by the weekend and thats about all so looks ok for a 6 week month, current daily budget is around £22 a day although to fill the beast will be around 3 days budget.
I think I've identified a small problem with the roof retracting fully however could be something to do with what I have in the boot or something I cant see on the parcel shelf but since its winter and I've only dropped it to put things in the back seat , I'm not going to overly worry about this until the weather gets slightly better. 

efes_shareholder

getting slightly concerned about my own stomach , its been playing up for around two weeks although nothing like mums level , I seem to be a cycle of flatulence and cramps.
I have antibiotics which have improved the symptons but buscopan and pro bio's arent touching the cramps and neither is charcoal tablets , all of which I started to take as standard when all my symptons improved
Maybe theres my answer
I've been eating a lot more bread since I've been at home more and thats an absolute trigger.
I do have blood tests and the kit to submit a stool sample and although its a little scary I need to put my big girls pants on and get things discounted so thats one anxiety gone.
NM has left for work and I will be leaving once I finish work at 5 , I have a car loaded with boxes to drop to the flat enroute home , we can't get him out of here quick enough. The house has now become fully occupied and is more like a doss house , it just goes to show HMO are fine if you get the right mix but if you get people that cant be bothered then its no fun for the ones that do.

efes_shareholder

Last night didnt go to plan , dropped some bits at the flat and then didnt put my home address in to my phone as I know where i live and ended up driving in to the aftemath of what I know now was a fatal accident , sat with the engine off and 20 miles in the tank until the emergancy services turned us around and down a slip road. Made it home 3 hours later but thankful for the blessing that I made it home where as someone sadly didn't
My stomach is still on fire and I'm searching doctor google but more for natural remedies then a diagnosis , Trying not to stress as that will only make it worse and pretty much open for any test they want to throw my way now !!  Not convinced that my IBS isn't chrons to be honest but whatever it is currently in the midst of a massive flare up.
Camomile and honey tea is the most effective I've found so far.
Budget is now £24 a day until pay day , will probably spend some on things to try and improve my gut health at the moment , today it seems a bit better after a horrendous start which I think was down to taking ibuprofen which i now know is a no no !! also prob not helping inhaling so much excess air with vaping , its really time to start to consider to get rid of this now too. On the plus it will be about a 30 a month saving.
No further word from the hospital as yet , seems comfortable enough at the moment although not really doing much to clean up after herself but that is hardly new - theres a very close line with the mothership between not feeling well enough to do things and being quite happy to let someone else do it for you.

efes_shareholder

Happy Wednesday 
My stomach feels much better but I still have a dull ache and quite a bit of itchy skin and tingling......blood tests tomorrow. 
Budget eaten in to a bit , bought a few supplements from H&B to try and assist my own digestion and had to refuel the car but only went half a tank - hoping that will last until payday.
Turns out the fatality i got caught up in was a local lad with a baby , only 20 years old. Definately puts life in to context.
Sent a message to the ex sister to say I would be attending the service on friday via Zoom , she was absolutely fine I think.........
Mum has an appt for her camera now , next thurs at the local private hospital , My sister is taking her  ( made out she is doing me a favour as it falls on my b'day) and has organised her shifts around it. I have to take mum there on saturday as she needs a covid test beforehand but thats fine as I really didn't fancy having the job of the camera appt.
Mum seems better in herself , I'm not sure at the moment , what is her illness and what is her mindset with lockdown and her history of mental health. I'm doing the lions share of everything and I think we are at a point where she has got rather used to it which is also familar terrority , my sister and I both agree that there is a very fine line with her between not being able to do something and not being bothered to do something. I don't want to nag but we are only talking taking glasses/cups to the kitchen after use and a small amount of washing up but its been a few days since she bothered and i'm not completely convinced that she hasn't just got a bit sluggish and can't be arsed rather then being unable to do it.
I'll probably be struck by lightening for thinking such a thing 

efes_shareholder

I spoke too soon , my middle is flaring again and getting quite concerning as it doesn't seem to be calming down.
I'm optomistically hoping it starts to subside and thats its coming out in sympathy for mum but I really don't feel up to doing much myself and the location of the pain feels unusual .................trying not to worry but difficult with access to google and whats going on around me but starting to question my own health now
I've suffered IBS for years but nothing like this flare up 

lucielle

Can you do a phone appointment at the docs?  Have you sent those samples off?
L

Kitten868

So it's a favour to not spend your birthday holding your mums hand through a colonoscopy? Geez! You've been doing everything! I'm glad it's sorted though. Make plans for your birthday. Have a nice day. You and nm in his new place. 
Its all starting now. You are getting there. You will get her diagnosis and then you know next steps. I urge you to reach out to any charities that would be relevant. They are great at the weird advice you didn't know would help. 
I know that diverticulitis is very painful so I hope its over soon for you. Or if there's something else you get a handle on it quick. Very wise to get the probio and other gut stuff. I think its brilliant xxxx

efes_shareholder

I've finished the tablets prescribed and although it improved when I was on them , it doesn't seem to be staying that way. I'm fine until I eat , bit like mum.
I've got a blood test to have tomorrow and can do the stool test now I'm off the medication.
I've had IBS for years but had it under control , this discomfort however feels different so I wont be chickening out on tests 
Considering taking a liquid diet route for a few days , ive had no alcohol for over a week so maybe my body needs a big detox and cleanse 
Its a bit draining to be honest , ive slept 4 hours since I logged off of work but feel better for it
The discomfort is there niggling but not overbearing , vaping is definately aggrevating it , ive got low dose patches i need to slap one on and start to break the habit too.
NM won't be in the flat until after my birthday and he will be working on the day so its going to be a low key affair but thats been the same for most of us so I'm not grumbling , just glad to chalk up another year.