taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

so at NM's for the last day before I go home , sister has been popping although i did need to ask
she called the docs who said no results as yet from CT scan but i have a feeling they will all be collaberated with the colonospy. I'll have to do a shop when I get home but we wont need much.
Today I've sorted out NM's broadband , quite pleased with myself as I managed to get free installation and set up ( flat hasnt had service for 11 years ) and three months free with 100mg service for 24 pounds a month - saving for him but good experience with my haggling skills.
I've done a small food shop today for £9 
My stomach still isnt right but its better then it was , I just dont like the amount of wind I'm generating or where the pain is located but trying not to spend too long thinking about that 

efes_shareholder

so i'm home and mum looks brighter and says the drinks are staying put a bit longer so maybe just need to keep going with that - she doesnt seem so fed up and keeps apologising for being a burden which off course she isn't.
Sister has popped in both days I've been away so hopefully now stepping up a bit more .Mum also mentioned that her bank account is looking healthier , just proves she spends money when she is bored lol and also as I had noticed the food bill has reduced drastically - I told her to keep going and not to find things to buy and hopefully her financial state is one less thing for me to feel anxious when i need to decide my moves on the house sale.
Really looking forward to NM getting in to the flat and turning that in to a home and also wish I was moving in properly but  right now its not the right thing , too much going on thats unknown - the greatest benefit is that my journey too and from his will half and it will be so much easier to move between the properties. His new job will mean a slightly longer journey for him but not a huge one and as he works a lot of shifts there is oppurtunity really for me to come back here for a few hours of an evening and then go back and wfh there and get some time together ................i'm sure it will all fall in to place - I keep saying "we" when referring to the flat and have to remember its really "his" and he is taking on the financial responsibilty of it so I'll also be a bit mindful not to become "kept" at his expense - I do buy bits and pieces for the cupboard and fridge when I'm over his and the odd takeaway etc 
We did actually view a property up for sale at the weekend , it was in my target price range and I knew it wouldn't hang about and I'm not really in a position to proceed with anything but I want to get a general feel of what my budget is going to buy me - the problem with the town is its a new town and alot of the estates feel cramped in but this did have a driveway. It was an old ladies house and needed some TLC but was liveable in the first instance , It had an offer accepted yesterday and the agent did say to me he had 5 on the table at asking price and above ...............this could just be agent talk but it does resonate with what  I've seen in the last few months of tracking the market so again I'm going to have to view ASAP as and when my situation is proceedable but it does help to establish a relationship with local agents.
Bellys on a rage tonight , not sure if its being back here or something I have eaten or whether I have just rested up on my laurels and need to take it a bit easier for a bit longer. Time will tell. I've just taken some peppermint oil which is helping ..............Usually IBS flare ups last about a week but apparantly they can go on for months according to DR google but i think I am going to start keeping a diary of what I've eaten and whats going on.

enthusiasticsaver

My DDs IBS attack's are brought on by stress so I wonder if it is the same for you given all you have on your plate right now? Good your mum is feeling a bit  better and your sister helping a bit.

efes_shareholder

enthusiasticsaver said:

My DDs IBS attack's are brought on by stress so I wonder if it is the same for you given all you have on your plate right now? Good your mum is feeling a bit  better and your sister helping a bit.

I think this is the case here but I have felt very calm about the whole situation considering how much is going on however there was a bit of a meltdown time and perhaps I'm feeling the effects now. , I do find at any anxiety/upset will go straight to my stomach ...........I've got just about every remedy going but there is a pain in my right side of the stomach that radiates across my back that i'm finding slightly concerning , my blood and stool tests are clear so i think i'll monitor for a week and see how we go.
£4.00 spend today getting myself some lunch on the run just because I havent done any shopping for about a fortnight , will be doing some this evening. Am definately finding i'm doing all the clearing up around here , even as far as taking mums plates , cups and glasses to the kitchen and throwing her empty wrappers away - I know she is ill but these aren't beyond her but I'll keep my patience for now. She does have a habit of allowing people to pick up after her if you let them , I don't want to nag too much about it though as its difficult to gauge how able she is and how much its just easier to let someone else do it.

Its payday in two days and i should have £150 left over or there abouts , going to move that in to my savings attached to my current account which will put that fund at 880. If I can get this to 1k for end of february I may then do a big hit on the tesco card ...........It looks like there will be little option to go out and spend in feb just like January and getting the flat all sorted out will help keep us busy. 
i'm struggling a bit with the length of lockdown etc , I'm grateful for my personal safety and the fact I can keep myself tucked away rather then working in a hospital or supermarket etc but it feels harder this time with the cold weather and dark evenings and mornings.
I operate best when I have things to look forward too and its seems a long time since this was the case , I have a weekend away booked and my postponed holiday to sardinia but it feels like these are hanging in the balance. I always struggle with January , its like a whole month of mondays !!

efes_shareholder

whoop , finally pay day , a long month , a big xmas bill and 162 excess in the account im happy with that.
it was my birthday yesterday and although i couldnt do much i had a lovely day and was thoroughly spoilt , my kids did a doorstop drop and sung happy birthday from the kerb ! NM bought flowers and champagne over and spent a few hours here and takeaway and wine with my sister in the evening however the best birthday present ever was that mums tests have confirmed that it isn't cancer.
We dont yet know what it is and although she is now saying there is nothing wrong with her there quite obviously is the biggest concern was that we were dealing with a cancer of some sort , I can't describe the relief I felt when my sister called to tell me. I suspect it is Crones or ulceratis colitis but thats manageable and we can deal with that - it couldnt have been a better birthday 

lucielle

Belated Happy Birthday.  Excellent news re mum
L

enthusiasticsaver

Happy birthday for yesterday and great news that your mum doesn't have cancer.  My 85 year old mum suffers with stomach pains etc and they diagnosed that as diverticulitis which is common as you get older apparently.  Colitis as you said can also be common in old age. Unpleasant symptoms but not life threatening. 
Presumably this also means you can think about moving forward yourself now too? 

I am with you on the lockdown.  This one is worse than last time in that everything seems so dismal at the moment. 

Kitten868

Happy Birthday for yesterday! Glad you were treated well for it and ecstatic you got such good news!! Fingers crossed they continue to narrow it down quickly so your mum can start to figure out her new life. It'll be a big change but she will get used to it and understand herself better with the diagnosis. Still sending you all love xxx

efes_shareholder

thank you 
sister stayed for takeaway and wine ( feeling that this morning !) and we had a bit of a chat , shes stepped up a bit more of late , she basically told me to get going on the move or I would stuck here forever and that we were both about etc to take care of mum.
I will be moving forward with my new home search , I look daily on right move and will probably start to have a few more viewings but I can't be taken seriously as a buyer really until I know my house has exchanged as all of my deposit is tied up in that transaction. So for now , its back to the plan and keep getting this debt down so that I have as much in the kitty as possible when the time comes 
thank you for all your good wishes , we don't know what lies ahead but its re assurring to know we should be able to get this under control , had a heart to heart with mum last night with sister about and told her she probably wont ever be able to eat like she used too ( which is probably a good thing ) but she needs to be a lot more aware of what she is eating etc and the detrimental effect of sugars etc and just try and take more care of herself.
Although how its gone is not ideal , the considerable weight loss has had a good impact on her mobility and she is at what you would consider a good weight right now although it has quite a dramatic impact on her appearance considering how big she was before this started

Humdinger1

@efes_shareholder so thrilled to read your news! Now you can start making plans.  Congrats on everything you've achieved so far.   Humdinger x