taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Good afternoon and welcome to March 
Lovely to see you pop in FTBWannabe
Well I made it to payday with 0.04p in my account , A plus is still a plus
I have just got back from a little mini break which I did overspend on slightly , its far too easy to tap at the bar when under the influence and its far too easy to also feel overly generous .............however its only slightly over what I expected the weekend to cost in the first play so I guess  its not too terrible 
I have a holiday installment to make as well as my may weekend final payment and my daughters birthday so its going to  be a little bit of a careful month from here on in , NM is going back to work on Thursday so I should see a difference in my fuel consumption and also have a bit more time at home , I'm sure my mum thinks I've moved out !! I think it will take me a while to adjust to him not being about all the time but I also need a bit more time to myself for my own organisation / friends / household jobs so I'm sure I'll welcome a bit of down time
We still have a little bit of unwelcome activity from my now poorly ex who doesn't seem to want to move on , his behaviour became almost threatening so I had to block all contact quite some again however he posts passive agressive things on his own social media ( my friends can still see his account) , has created fake accounts to try and contact me and still attempts to call my number even though his call won't connect.
I do sympathise with him however his intention seems to be to try and spoil things that are going on for me now so he will not be getting any response - the best reply to a fool is silence
I need to get back in to the gym and breakthrough the barrier to my goal weight and I also need to clear my wardrobe and bedroom out - I guess the correct thing to do would be to list things I dont want on ebay however  I'd like to donate any unneeded clothing to the homeless shelter who were very grateful for the trainers , I could do with the cash but a little giving here and there does keep me humble.

efes_shareholder

wow how long since i posted 
where to start ???
On a personal level although home life still presents the same challenges and i think always will , its generally very good and so much better then say a year ago.
NM is still hanging in there , as I've touched on before hes slightly older then me but you wouldn't know it but you know what we just work .................I can't praise him enough , hes a positive influence in every way and definately compliments my life.
the next current affair - COVID 19 , my employee is considered an essential service but we also have a  lot of commercial contracts which means around 50% of staff are furlough.
around 5% choosing to go in to the office and the rest working from home - I'm in the working from home catergory
its re assurring to know my room sometimes stil in my PJ's or if its hot bare face naked and only leave for food and drink !
once I clock off and at weekends , I go for long walks ( at least 10k) and it lifts me , in fact sometimes I wish i could do it everyday rather then work !!
I'm on a 4 day week , so same as furlough at 80% wage just can't tap in the payment holidays with finance arrangements etc as my furloughed wonrk buddies , but you know what , since this started I've had excess of £300 left in my account so I really shouldn't need too !
the experience is showing me how much money I really waste - I'm seperating any left over balance between bills and savings come the end of the month so technically i'm ahead of myself
my social calender is a blank canvas which is unknown with refunds due but battles for them in some places , A few of my friends have lost parents to covid so whilst right now i'd love to be able to plan a holiday i'm also well aware that essentially we just need to be safe 

Kitten868

Hello there! I was thinking I hadn't seen your diary in a while and then here you are. Glad you've stayed safe with the virus and kept your job. Sounds like you're doing well with the lockdown too which is surprising as I was worrying about you as your such a social person and staying at your mums is such a challenge. And you can't go to the gym or see your partner or your children. It seems to touch every element of your life and spin it round. I'm so amazed you've spun it into a positive. Really impressed with you maintaining the exercise and staying so positive. I've seen people lose it with far less on their plate. 
Keep up the great work! Xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Hello there! I was thinking I hadn't seen your diary in a while and then here you are. Glad you've stayed safe with the virus and kept your job. Sounds like you're doing well with the lockdown too which is surprising as I was worrying about you as your such a social person and staying at your mums is such a challenge. And you can't go to the gym or see your partner or your children. It seems to touch every element of your life and spin it round. I'm so amazed you've spun it into a positive. Really impressed with you maintaining the exercise and staying so positive. I've seen people lose it with far less on their plate. 
Keep up the great work! Xxx

Hi Kitten , There are days when I become very despondant and the situation gets me down but I can't control it and we are all going to have meltdowns  
Home is still a challenge but thats where the long walks give me time to gather my thoughts and restore calmness. Its been easier since it became ok to travel to excercise  and do so with someone outside of your house as NM has met up and so has my middle child
other then that , there are video calls etc 
I'm sad at all the plans i had are cancelled for this year but right now its important everyone is safe - one of my good friends lost her fit and well dad to COVID very early in the pandemic and then we realise how very real this is.

efes_shareholder

wow considering the days past so slowly , time really does seem to be passing quickly
in terms of finances , im still working from home on a 4 day week so technically the same as furlough. the closure of anything social and travel has pretty much reigned my spending in for me without too much effort
I've been able to add 1k to my prem bonds since lockdown and hope to do another 500 come the end of this month.
I could use this against the debts but they are slowly reducing and i now have another thing to consider,
Its challenging being here with mum , she is lazy and has slowly put back on any and weight shes lost and is complaining of pains and unable to sit comfortably. she knows she shouldnt eat so much sugary stuff since shes diabetic and I don't buy it with the shopping so shes taken to getting secret stashes online!! 
My tolerance is at its max but its further highlighted that I should be in my own place.
The ex's GF has moved in to our house during lockdown and doesnt look likely to leave again so i asked him when he was looking to put the house on the market , always thought it would be next year ! and was surprised when he said it would be at least another 2 years !! Cut a long story short , he has now agreed to start decorating etc so potentially put the house on the market this time next year so I've now told him I want this in writing as part of our legal document or I will push for an order of sale.
He hasnt let me know if he will sign it yet but if i go down the order of sale route I need funds to proceed hence my putting this in to the bonds
its been 9 years since I left , my eldest and my youngest have moved out and i dont feel by giving a years notice I am unreasonable 
I should be debt free in 18 months so this also works perfectly there

efes_shareholder

Today I've been told that its back to normal hours from July 1st. Still working from home though which works for me as its keeping my fuel costs down. Currently I spend less then £50 on fuel where as previously it was in excess of £120
Car passed the MOT yesterday with no trouble which is great , fingers crossed for problem free motoring.
Waiting on two refunds for cancelled trip , one is a deposit of only £52 , the other is a full payment of £160 which is being a bit more problematic - the event organiser is refusing to refund which has not only destroyed his client base but also looks like it will lead to a group court case.
Waiting on my ex to advise if he will agree to a sale of the house in June 2021  , nothing as yet since he asked for a copy of the documentation which I sent first thing on tues
Not sure how long is reasonable to allow for a response , however I think I will give it to Tues next week which is a week. I got legal advice within a day or so , so don't understand why this why it should take him much longer unless its also a delaying tatic

efes_shareholder

so after pushing the ex this morning he has told me the house will be on the market in the next two weeks ...................such a turn around on wanting 2 years + that i'm not sure I trust him , however I will roll with it.
He said he didn't like the threats of solicitors or courts which I hadn't threatened with - I just made it known that I was prepared to take that route and it wasn't about what was convenient for him.
He says he has been told house prices will drop in the next year or so , so its best to market it now and thats why the u turn. I think maybe his legal advise wasnt favorable to him
Anyway regardless , its slightly earlier than what is ideal for me however I'm prepared to draw a line under that in order to get my money out the house
So now I really do need to get my finger out and get rid of the debts in order to get me the best possible mortgage deal etc when the time comes.
I like to be prepared and have a target area of affordabilty so its time to really knuckle down and make it happen
NM has said If I acheive my dream of a garden ( will have to compromise on area ) he will treat me to a hot tub so I think thats a brilliant incentive if there ever was one

lucielle

Whats not to like about a hot tub.  Sounds like a plan
L

efes_shareholder

Today I am frustrated
my middle child who is the only one still at home has been told by her dad that the house is going up for sale because i threatened him with courts if he didn't and that he offered to put the house up for sale next year but that wasn't good enough !! how they twist things
I actually asked for next year and when he would see i asked for it be legalised and signed too which bought about him now wanting to sell 
as i said it doesnt quite work for me yet and its turned my middle one in to an anxious mess about where she is going to live etc and she could be homeless etc !! men !! Fortunatley i have all the conversations and my kids are adjusted enough to know excatly how their dad can be.
its made me anxious though , what if it sells before i'm ready - i can clear my debts from savings but that doesn't leave me anything for house buying costs , I'm gonna try and throw as much as i can at them especially when my social calender is defunct and hope we are at least  at some middle ground.
what if it sells and house prices rocket in the period it takes to complete meaning my money doesn't afford what I need it too
What if I can't afford 2 bedrooms when the time comes?
In money news I have £100 left until payday on Tuesday ,there may be some small expenses over the weekend but whatever is left straight in to the savings pot.
its so hot to be working from home however i'm in no rush to get back to the office , ive only spent £50 on fuel this month which is basically back and forth from NM now we are allowed a bubble and a socially distanced gathering which was a 120 mile round trip
i could get used to this

efes_shareholder

its official , im down and frustrated with life
It always seems to happen when I come home from a stint at new mans ( its been over a year now so perhaps i should change this !) The reality of the living conditions here kick in and it kills any joy.
Combined with the situation with the ex and the house which looks like its going to get messy , it doesn't feel like their is much to smile about.
The ex i've discovered is looking in to ways to potentially remortage , bringing my middle child in to the equation to assist with this - funny he didnt consider her in any of our conversations or when he had a spat and insisting on selling now but hes happy to utilise her in order to get what he wants.
I'm really not sure how I feel about this , obviously it means she stay in the home she has had since childhood and he can stay until retirement age but there are other implications for her like the loss of first time buyer incentives and stamp duty exemptions , not to mention what would happen if he were to die or she were to meet someone and want to buy with them etc etc - it would mean little disruption with selling etc but it also means the unreasonable gf lives in the home that I built and I resent that since I'm no longer allowed in when she is there and since she now lives there , figure that one out 
I just don't like it ......................I haven't quite figured out excatly why.
I'm also put out that she hasnt mentioned it to me , i'm good enough for advice on silly stuff and when she needs help but shes gone along with this without mentioning it which makes me suspect a bit of manipulation.
Payday yesterday - quite a bit to pay out on , MOT , ferry trip to Isle of Wight for a friends birthday , two birthdays , increased credit card repayments and a little stash means that once again it will be quite a frugile month - probably because there is very little going on !! 
I need to take the oppurtunity to batten down the hatches ASAP 
Will be talking to my friend who is a financial advisor about the implications of existing debt when getting a mortgage etc or whether its better to get it all paid.
Nothing is certain yet but if this remortgage goes ahead I need to know my options - My instinct would be to reinvest as soon as possible but as prices are reported to be dropping , I may need to sit it out a bit.
That said , I'm keeping tabs on my target area and anything reasonably priced in good condition appears to be selling in days so its looking still very competitive despite the uncertianity in the world right now