taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Humdinger1 said:

Efes

You're right to be furious! You've been so restrained,  both with mother and EH but it's healthy to consider yourself too.  A good sign that things are moving on, even if uncomfortable.   Do you think you'd like to live with NM? You are of course free to tell me to mind my own business! Love Humdinger x 

Asolutely not Humdinger , its nice for someone to take an interest
In terms of NM , Its something that I've given consideration too.............I think we could quite easily live together with no issues as we havent had a cross word in a year ( the whole time we have been together) however we haven't discussed it yet. For me it feels like the next natural progression but until I have the funds to start searching for a place it seems premature to bring it up.
Hes currently after a new job which would put him on the other side of london , its a fair old journey from where he lives currently but would be an even bigger trek from my target area so i guess we just wait and see.It would mean his working day is shorter so maybe he wouldnt be mind a longer journey if hes coming home to me !!

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Could you turn the embarrassment round on her? Buy incontinence sheets? That big plastic base sheet.
Another option, option 4 is to get a lock for your door on the outside so she can't go in there when you're not home. She's waaay overstepped the boundary. She can't complain. You'll remove it when you leave and there's wood filler.

I'm glad the ex has agreed to the sale but like you say even if its true its about 6 months. You can make it. Don't move out. Reassert your boundaries. You are going to make it. Keep going x

I think she is embarrassed enough about it and i've bought all those sheets for her in the past and they have been disregarded - we had an air clear chat last night , she didn't like how I reacted and felt I had made my point , however I told her there are some things that are beyond a simple sorry and she had shown no respect for my space or belongings
To add to her audacity it turns out she has been retreating to my bed as its so comfie but according to her hadn't fallen asleep in it before
She doesnt seem to grasp just what an unpleasant thing it was for me to deal with , never mind that I had to sleep in there that night 
I have a sliding bolt on either side of my door from the days when we had a dog , my door doesnt shut properly so i use it to keep it secure - i'd actually told her on this occassion not to take any washing up to my room etc as she leaves the slider open ..................she didnt bring any washing up but she still came in !!
There was an issue at one point when she would put my nephew in my room if I wasnt here and she was babysitting despite there being a spare room so that had to be nipped in the bud !! She seems oblivious to the fact that this is my space that I pay to use and not a free for all to whoever wants to use it !!
I told a few home truths yesterday and basically said she needed to sort herself out and start taking care of herself and the things around her.
The good news is that there is light at the end of the tunnel , that the more debt i can get paid off the more options I have with buying and that I just need to be patience and know its coming 

efes_shareholder

In other news , i had a cool off evening at new mans last night and did tell him my tale of woe , it felt good to share the burden and we even managed to make a joke of it in a light hearted way.
Had to top the diesel up on the car , put 20 which I am hoping will get me to payday
Looks likely we will be back in the office soon , my manager is bringing a rota  in but my supervisor sems reluctant as she has to come in by train..............I know from working with her for a long time she will be reluctant to come in at all as she will have to start paying fares again and would rather be home.....................I;m not looking forward to the increase ib fuel costs but will have to suck it up but I will be objecting if she doesnt have to be part of the rota as I don't see people should have special treatment , I'm just as at risk filling the car up with diesel so unless we coupe ourselves up completely there is an element of risk with everything 
NM is encouraging me to get the us booked for amsterdam - his treat , we managed to rebook our flights to sardinia next year for less then this year so we have an excess of 60 pounds to use elsewhere which would go toward amsterdam.
As such a travel addict i'm really surprised im not jumping at it but i think this virus situation has made me very nervous or should i say cautious. I need to decide soon as the bargain flight seats arent hanging around for long

efes_shareholder

how is it monday already
Saturday evening I spent a rare evening at the family home with my daughter as my ex was away ...............hes told me a week or two until the house is on the market as he has nearly finished decorating however I'd say at least a  month or two.
Hes painted and decluttered the kitchen and utility room but the hallway which is 3 stories and the wood framed double glazed windows need attention , not to mention the garden needing tidying and the patio jet washing..............hes also away next weekend so I dont know how he thought it would be ready
Will be messaging again for an update soon and mentioning these things - I have already offered to help with the cost should he need to get someone in 
Yesterday I spent the day shopping with both of my daughters and then made it to the gym for an evening session - boy I could tell I'd been away for 5 months but it was good to be back. There are santisers and wipes all over and social distancing through the machinery etc 
Its been a spendy weekend one way or another - not terrible but considering the lack of spending during lockdown , spendy enough considering.
Had my waxing on saturday .......ouoch ouch ouch and my first macdonalds , it was awful and i won't be rushing for another. Yesterday I only bought a bikini in the sale for next years holiday - total of three quid and a protien shaker in the sale for a quid. I did have to do a mini breakfast shop though as after last weeks events I didnt do the shopping and it was done online with no provision really for my breakfasts so I have a stash in my room as my mum usually eats everything which isnt nailed down.

efes_shareholder

So tomorrow is payday , I have approx 70 left over from this months pay so that will be allocated to my BNPL balance on very - its so easy to use this facility and I've had to really teach myself not to use it , theres a balance due end of august which I will clear tomorrow and another in november which I will also tap in to this month.
August will be a relatively spendy month as its my daughters birthday and also have a trip to the IOW for my friends birthday , In the absence of holidays this year I'm looking forward to this one. There is a good set of people travelling over so should be fun. As its my friend I am covering the cost , NM has offered to contribute however I've told him to just look after me when we are there. 
Did an early stint at 6am in the gym on Tuesday , boy i'm aching but it feels good to be back and I'm also now paying more attention to my diet. it did however mean this months fuel didnt stretch and I had to make a small top up yesterday
my next visit will be saturday morning - the positives are I have another year until the bikini body needs to be ready.
I have put amsterdam on hold for the moment , my concerns are the quarantine rules that are coming back at short notice - I would have liked to have visited when the sun was still out and we could sit on the pavement cafes but it seems at risk of disruption with all the talk of the 2nd wave coming.
I've also noticed a lot of flights appear to have been pulled which again is concerning if you are making arrangements 

efes_shareholder

oh and other news I forgot to share , I just went online to my doctors as i have been asked to do an asthma review and the results of my recent smear have been updated.
They are showing HPV negative which is great and what I have been waiting for and if i'm not mistaken mean that I now go back to checks every 3 years instead of annually 

Kitten868

Totally brilliant news on the smear! And brilliant news about money left on pay day! X

efes_shareholder

payday ! 
moved 200 in to my savings straight away  and have just decided to take 500 of the 600 i've put in to the esavers section of my account and put it in to my prem bonds account. if i'm right the extra will go in to Septembers draw.
this now stands 6550 , it would be nice to get it to 7k before the world comes back to normal and before the xmas shopping season starts.
my belly has been playing up the last few days so been drinking plenty of peppermint tea which has been a blessing.
Looks like a scorcher today so the plan is to try and find somewhere where we can eat out al fresco this evening 

efes_shareholder

oh in other news , it seems that me spending saturday evening at the house has ruffled feathers.
i left a wine bottle out which my daughter didnt remove and it prompted the ex gf to ask whose it was ................apparantly shortly after there was a row and the ex told her to get out of his house. she is yet to return!!!!

She needs to realise that she is a GUEST in my house and not the other way round 
They are meant to be away again this weekend however its in the balance according to my daughter.
Thought maybe i'll visit again but this time leave my hair on the pillowcases 

Kitten868

How silly! Your daughter isn't allowed guests? It could have been anyone! 
Great work on the savings. With ns&i out of sight, out of mind. No accidental spending from it  
I'm not bothering with eating out - I'm not organised enough. Good luck finding somewhere x