taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

How silly! Your daughter isn't allowed guests? It could have been anyone! 
Great work on the savings. With ns&i out of sight, out of mind. No accidental spending from it  
I'm not bothering with eating out - I'm not organised enough. Good luck finding somewhere x

i think the point is more that it was me visiting....................but i will not stop visiting my daughter in the home which is still available due to me wanting her to have home
my daughter is dog sitting again and thought firstly they were going abroad so asked if they would be self quaranting as she wasn't happy if they didnt considering they all share a home - the new gf had the cheek to tell my daughter that if she felt like that she should find somewhere else to live !!

Humdinger1

Efes

It really is all coming to the boil; it's not going to end well for the gf! What a flaming liberty!  You are 100% right; stick to your guns! Love Humdinger x 

efes_shareholder

thanks humdinger
I must admit it gives me amusement that she is so petty and ridiculous but she does need to know her place and that SHE is the guest. this weekends visit there were 2 further doors painted so a little bit of progress , will touch base with the ex on a realistic time to market given his slow decorating programme . I'd also like further valuations as on reflection looking at newly marketed properties the ONE he received may be a bit light as it was from an agent not really in our area.
I've had a lovely weekend , friday was so hot NM said we needed to get out after work so we filled the cool box with ice and cide/gin and tonic and took a drive down to the coast , found a picnic park on the coastline and watched the sun go down with fish and chips.
Lifes simple pleasures eh
Last night we went to a garden party and i've been eaten alive.
both evenings came to a contribution of fourteen pounds from me - i think socialising in our own surroundings will  become the new norm.and its a lot easier on the pocket.
In other news , have an unexpected refund of 200 coming for something i ordered for NM and he paid me for ,  i picked the delivery up but the company is saying the courier has lost it and are refunding me - obviously an admin error somewhere along the line but its there error and i wont be correcting them
NM says if it comes through I can spend it on booking us somewhere away, I swing back and forth on this though as I have 60 credit with easyjet remaining but the possible of having to quarantine concerns me ................we have also discussed the possibilty of going down to devon or cornwall so maybe ill look in to that too.

efes_shareholder

well all the direct debits have gone and i am feeling poor although by the standards off all other lock down months I should be fine.
Made a school girl error last night , went to the petrol station after the gym and absent mindly started to put petrol in my car...................i've had it 18 months and decided to do it now ! I think because work had been busy , id done an hour work out and still had the shopping to do I just had one of those moments. Thankfully I realised by the time the pump was at £1.70 ( just over a litre) so I brimmed the tank to fill up with another £60 which means about 2% of my tank is now petrol.
Spent the evening reading all the awful things that can happen on google and then this morning decided to call a fuel drainage specialist rather then my mechanic as he would tell me to drain it as thats what he does. According to the specialist anything under 5% is fine and it would be unethical to suggest a drain and I have done the right filling up to the max to dilute it down.
He said to just continue filling up regularly for the time being and it will flush through , but this percentage can actually be good for it
Means this month fuel will probably be higher then usual but its cheaper then a tank drain and now i've spoke to a specialist I wont worry about it or mention it to my garage.
Also noticed yesterday that a conference call I was asked to join for work had resulted in an additional £40 on my  phone bill. Mentioned it to my boss who is going to put it through as expenses.

efes_shareholder

good afternoon 
called my credit card this morning and transferred NM's 210 credit back to my current account as i had paid it when he transferred the cash to me. once its back ill pop it to my savers to ensure it gets used for what was intended.
Also called EE as I noticed that I had a monthly add on of 5gb which was reoccurring - i must have purchased new data and inadvertantly selected a rolling one so thats £10 a month off of that bill
Also called virgin as im out of contract and got another 10 reduction for 12 months
Took the bring a friend option off of my gym membership as havent used it really so thats now reduced the direct debit by £8.
Contacted the dentist as i paid up front for a hygeniest appointment that i couldnt have due to covid and i've now lost my bottle to go back so thats about a 50 refund to be returned
Got up at 5am and was in the gym for 6 and now im knackered !! did mostly weights as I did a 3.5 mile walk with my sister after work last night so thought lay off the cardio , still managed a 4 mile stint on the bike so happy with that.
Feel so unfit after lockdown despite my long walks 

efes_shareholder

So a desicion has been made and we have decided for now that rather then amsterdam we will go down to Devon and cornwall for 4 days ( 3nights) We are staying in Saltash just outside plymouth so we can travel out etc. got a bargain at the hotel of 82 for both and have checked theres a toby carvery within 15 minutes for unlimited breakfasts aswell as a cafe next door. i've since looked at TUI's website and am half tempted by some of their late deals - the hotel is free canx so we will see
We also have 130 remaining from the refund which will cover the lions share of our spends.
Went out to dinner with mates last night , 35 for 4 of us including drinks and steak dinners so happy with that and NM paid ! 

efes_shareholder

goo morning mse'rs
thankfully the car seems fine,plan to top the engine up later on today to flush the intruding petrol from my engine.Think ive thankfully got away with this one.
Spent the last few days at NM's , now back home and back to reality - it really kills any good vibe when i come back here. Mum had forgotten I was due home and the cupboards were bare , virtually as soon as i walked in I was told there was no dinner !! Fortunately I wasnt overly hungry but it did annoy me - just what am i paying for ????? My sister came over to help me clean the place up as its gotten considerably worse and mums efforts arent adequate - cant decide if this is because she is lazy or because of her mobility issues but suspect its a bit of both. Its soul destroying to go to make a cuppa this morning and find that already the work tops are shrewn with coffee granules.
It just makes me sad that this is the environment that I have to live in.
It did prompt me to send a message to the ex to ask him for a progress report - I have also offered to help him decorate , so far 12 hours have passed and I am yet to get a reply , i'm trying to be patient but his effort levels so far aren't sufficent so i think I will have to nag.
Weekend was a spendy one as my eldest reached 28 , went for a lovely dinner but I wont have much room budget wise now until the end of the month.
Still need all the refunds to roll in to my account. 

efes_shareholder

today i have a lot on my mind , something presented itself which confirmed my early insecurities with NM were correct , I've long since felt them and they are gone , I now trust him beyond doubt but  its reawakened feelings I don't like and sent me in to bit of a super sleuth on social media. I need clarity on whats in my head but I also need to make sure I communicate that to him in the correct way , he knows something is on my mind but I dont want to talk about it over the phone and sometimes Im not sure I want to talk about it at all as whats past is past however it feels like there is an elephant in the room and i'm going to stew on it if I dont get it out. We cant see each other until Thursday which seems such a long time away when your trying to work things out in your head,
I slept terribly partly due to this and partly the unprecedented night heat.
To take my mind off of it I have compiled a new SOA , basics below 

SALARY	1755.00
OUT	September
Rent	£     300.00
EE	£        49.00
Netflix	£        12.00
savings	£     200.00
Virgin Media	£        52.00
car payment
three	£        10.00
Social life	£     100.00
Food	£        30.00
Petrol	£     100.00
car insurance	£        46.00
Account fee	£        13.00
	£  1,128.00
excess	843.00

DEBTS
Tesco Credit card 

	balance	payment	APR
tesco	3505.00	200.00	0
ratesetter(car)	3357.00	216.00	5.9
very	281.00	80.00	0

total debt  7143

amount left after debt repayments 427.00

Assets 
emergancy fund/savings 6675.00
car - 5000
Share of house approx 135,000

There is still a black hole as I don't seem to have 427 left over but I havent allowed for vape fluids and alcohol and the everyday odds and ends so i guess I must have a big pot under miscellanous spends , 
I want the very gone and forgotten so this month and next I am going to put the tesco card to the minumim and use the excess to get very cleared then as the car ticks away it leaves me just the tesco card to focus on.

efes_shareholder

So today I'm furious , things are getting worse on the house front but at least its set aside the NM issue for now.
My Ex finally answered me and said he is getting on with the decor and getting the estate agent round to take pics..................great , I asked for a realistic time frame and he said that it would be on the market next week.
He has relayed that to my daughter as me being demanding on the house going up for sale ASAP - Fortunately she is aware of  how he twists things but took the oppurtunity to let her dad know that some of the things his GF has said to her recently had really upset her. This led to the GF texting my daughter and basically calling her a lying and that she hadnt said those things and saying my daughter had made it clear she didnt like her from day one etc.............Lawd a mercy , be a grown women and just apologise for any upset you may have caused.
The sooner that house is on the market and sold the better !! 
I've had to sit on my hands and just watch from afar

In other news , first top up of fuel today to dilute the tank , 15.00 spent 

Kitten868

Wow! It sounds like its all coming apart now! Funny how it all happens when people see the truth through all the rubbish. Xxx