taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Newstartforme

Hi Efes , this is all adding to your health issues I'm sure . I really hope MC gone today , got visions of all his expensive purchases being stuffed in a bag any old way , you'd think he would have said to dad like a normal person oh I'll be leaving after work today for instance wouldn't you 🤔 NM can't relish the thought of these conversations I'm sure , best of luck for today xx

efes_shareholder

no I completely get he won't want the conversations but PARENT YOUR CHILD!!!

he said over breakfast this morning " lets have a nice weekend" I said " yes , when is MC going to his friends" then the penny dropped , I said " it is the 28th today"

" I will talk to him"

This has to be done or we will still be in the same situation a year from now.

When I had the conversation with NM when I was upset this week , I did say " the only conflict we have to manage is MC expectations of me , last time we had such upset was when he asked if the GF could stay"

MC has a meeting on monday with the ex about seeing the kids - accompanied by his mum. The whole dynamic of GWG could change based on this and there is absolutely no way I am about to lose my home every saturday again !!!! 

enthusiasticsaver

I think if MC does not go then you should send NM with him as he does not seem to have your back on this.  How stressful and I agree Never again is a good mantra.  Give some people an inch and they take a mile. 

efes_shareholder

enthusiasticsaver said:

I think if MC does not go then you should send NM with him as he does not seem to have your back on this.  How stressful and I agree Never again is a good mantra.  Give some people an inch and they take a mile. 

I'm with you on that - I knew the son extracted the urine but not to this extent

If his dad stopped blaming MC ex Gf and opened his eyes it may be a start

enthusiasticsaver

Change the locks maybe? 

Humdinger1

I was thinking that too @enthusiasticsaver.  But if MC plays on NM's feelings, he'll probably end up getting in anyway.   Please forgive me @efes_shareholder for discussing your relationship, even indirectly.   Love Humdinger xx

efes_shareholder

Honestly no forgiveness needed.

MC came in late last night and dashed upstairs pretty soon to bed....................NM went and woke him up to find out when he was moving his stuff , I have been assured he will be gone by monday so I can't ask for much more then that.

Hes only just left to go to work today , theres a strange atmosphere but that will soon be gone. Just in time as it looks like his access to his kids will soon be reinstated , his lack of progress and motivation will potentially hit home as unless his mum helps out he will have no where to have them overnight.

still GWG has expensive shoes and he has been to ibiza 

Newstartforme

He could have taken a few months to get his head straight then sorted tax and a place to live but no he has chosen his own enjoyment and pleasure over having a place sorted for those kiddies , he's really not doing himself any favours,  MC must be very soft to be taken in by all looking for sympathy nonsense . Roll on Monday for you x

efes_shareholder

Newstartforme said:

He could have taken a few months to get his head straight then sorted tax and a place to live but no he has chosen his own enjoyment and pleasure over having a place sorted for those kiddies , he's really not doing himself any favours,  MC must be very soft to be taken in by all looking for sympathy nonsense . Roll on Monday for you x

He seems equally frustrated and I think he is a little embarrassed and out of excuses for him 

I certainly would be if he was my son 

when he arrived he was full of sorting himself out , sorting his tax and getting somewhere to live near his kids

then he met Gwg and instead has transformed his wardrobe to fit her ideals and decided he needs to move location 

Not sure how having the kids every other week is going to fit in with that but then not really my problem 

efes_shareholder

ok , so the sage continues.

I didn't go with NM to do his security work on saturday and MC returns from work around 8pm , with his own takeaway once again !!

He sits in the kitchen for a while and then goes upstairs - i hope to pack but no he is showering and making himself pretty for his journey to GWG.

He comes in to let me know he is off and says " I don't know if dad told you but i should be gone on monday" and then continues to say his mum is being slightly difficult about him going there and gives a back story on the impeding meeting with his mum and ex on monday and the argument they had several weeks ago.

I act rather surprised " I thought you were going to your friends?" 

" so did  i , but he isn't taking my calls" he says ( so he has changed his mind and is now ghosting him) 

" I don't know why this is so disorganised " I reply " you have had since September to sort this out"

" I know but GWG family  said i could go there in January , I asked dad about staying and he said yeah but you need to speak to EFES and I didn't"

" well if your dad said that then he shouldn't have , its always been November MC and that was never changing" I re affirm

" well I should be going to mums otherwise I will have to rent a caravan as i don't want to spend money on a flat " he says

He then goes , i have another conversation with BFF to dissect the conversation  and then decide after a bottle of wine i will go to bed as I don't want to risk this conversation turning in to an argument with NM when he gets home as I have had wine and I could well be triggered.

We get up yesterday and I decide I cannot let the said conversation pass without talking to NM about it as quite honestly I am completely fed up with the lack of closure.

I firstly ask if he ever said "yes but you need to speak to EFES" to the MC , he has stated over and over again that he hasn't and I do feel that this is what MC chose to hear rather then what was potentially said.

NM confirms what he has mantained throughout this disaster of an ordeal saying " I told him he needed to talk to you" 

Anyway it transpires that MC has contacted his mum on friday to tell her he has to be out this weekend  , no mention of knowing this for months but basically putting it on her last minute to take him in , she hasn't said yes or no and has gone to NM for a back story on MC.

She wants to know if he has been contributing to the house , what he has been contributing to the house and says she has concerns over his attitude and behaviour and feels like she can't say no and that ultimately he has the money to rent.

NM says has spoken to her on saturday evening and basically told her that i told MC the arrangment with me did not work long term and the longest I was prepared to do it for was until the end of Nov however he has done nothing about it , she completely understands my positioning on that. I wish I had had the oppurtunity to tell her excatly how irresponsible her child is rather then his dad but hey ho

I feel like the eldest daughter would have kicked back at the thought of the brother with all the family inheritance now coming back to the mothership.

Ultimately NM assures me he is going to his mums. , today once the meeting with the ex and his mum is done,

It appears MC doesn't want to go there and saturday nights conversation with me was one last throw of the dice to appeal for sympathy in his poor hard done by life. It didn't work - its just another attempt at avoiding his lack of responsibility or accountability and trying to keep himself in the comfortable life at my house.

I've come in to the office today , hoping that i see him enter the house via the ring doorbell and leave with bags !! his room could do with a deep clean too but that is quite possibly expecting far too much 

I figured I would be in a better mindset today not being at home whilst he is moving himself out. IF he moving himself out.................