taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Humdinger1 said:

Yes I was wondering about the latter.  He has to go @efes_shareholder love Humdinger xx 

Yes , he hasnt discussed with me anything about staying - only his father who batted it to me

His father has said he will talk to him but potentially the absence of an approach to me since the convo with his dad may mean he has a plan B - Either way I have made it perfectly clear I do not wish to be approached with any such request , I have already said WHAT I NEED and now wanting to push this is in my view disrespectful

Either way , his dad has to tell him its not on option. 

efes_shareholder

so yesterday did end up as a spend day , my friend told me about the 50% uber fresh deal on mondays so I ordered quite a bit of fruit and veg.
We get through a lot anyway with meals and more so since the juicing. I will remove what has already been purchased from the weekly shopping basket and think going forward the fruit and veg will be coming on a monday.

My account is looking healthy as my sister owed me a bit of money for our trip away next weekend which she has now paid but I havent started shopping for the C word yet.

Dinner tonight , Chilli pasta bake - I didn't cook last night as my stomach was playing up ( I am pretty sure STRESS is playing a part in this) and instead had a bowl of carrot and lentil soup that I had knocked up during the day - MC  snored away in his room ALL afternoon yesterday , only emerging to eat left overs with his dad and then went back to bed. I am now so cynical that I am not sure this was not done for affect , to add weight to being down and needing support , not being in a good head space but its much more likely to be a come down after too much sniffing over the weekend !!! A couple of weeks ago , he sat at the table sniffing so much we thought he was crying , when we asked about his welfare he said he was coming down with a cold ...................as if by miracle the sniffing vanished and the following day nasal sprays were delivered......................I'm not always right but you can't kid a kidder mate !!!!!!
He has gone to work today , thank the lord 

This evening I will try and make the gym , and then I need to go our local curry house and pay a deposit for Xmas day - its just me , NM , my two youngest and one of their partners so we are going to try something new and head out for curry  - its walking distance and really reasonable and takes all the stress out of making sure there is a xmas dinner in the house etc.
I was waiting on my sister to say whether she was coming , which they are going local so hopefully the place can still accomodate us

efes_shareholder

Didnt get to the indian , I think I have been taking my magnesium supplement too late in the day and I felt a bit zombied so had the pasta bake and headed up to bed , stomach wasn't great either and the pain always makes me weary.

WIll go tonight as need to go to the waxing shop so will be out anyway

Tonights dinner is marinating in the fridge , curry chicken carribean style which will be served with Rice and Cabbage.

I have had a £9.68 quidco cashback payment through so have sent this along with the small PB Win of £25 combined to make an additional overpayment on the mortgage. The overpayment is currently set at 130 so this is an extra 35 ish for this month
Every little helps as tesco say.

efes_shareholder

well I got on the scales and wished I hadn't

9lb on since I last got on !! do not understand unless I have gained more then I realised in the time since I last got on but despite not having crisps , cake , chocolate etc in the house and trying really hard with the fresh food the scales do not lie

did think I could feel a difference in my shape though

Will try not to get disheartened , maybe stress is causing havoc with my hormones and making me cling to it

Have decided next weeks for me will be veggie soups and min carbs - I will get on the right side of this

Scott_Weiland79

stress can cause havoc with hormones and it can infleunce things like water retention/sleep etc

How has your hydration being?

enthusiasticsaver

Just caught up on your diary ES and given your NMs son has been staying with you since early on this year and is obviously a high earner I am infuriated on your behalf.  Given there is only a few weeks until the end of November he clearly has no intention of moving on so I would be reiterating that end of month deadline and if NM doesn't like it he can go with him.  They are both using you. I understand you do not wish to reintroduce the subject given you have already told him he needs to leave at the end of the month but history shows he does not listen and either tries to get round you by buying flowers, paying a pittance towards his keep or going via his dad. 

I am not surprised you are stressed and this often does cause IBS flare ups. 

efes_shareholder

Scott_Weiland79 said:

stress can cause havoc with hormones and it can infleunce things like water retention/sleep etc

How has your hydration being?

Its pretty good , The importance of water intake is something I am aware off and I have incoperated 3 daily juices which cite various health benefits. I regularly hydrate during the day and have jumped on the coconut water train too

I have been doing mostly resistance training in the gym as dont feel energised enough to undertake the cardio however maybe the balance between the two isn't quite there.

I am a bit of a stress head , not helped by menopause and can fall in to depressive cycles if I am aware and do not feed my mind the right information - that in itself isn't always easy.

efes_shareholder

enthusiasticsaver said:

Just caught up on your diary ES and given your NMs son has been staying with you since early on this year and is obviously a high earner I am infuriated on your behalf.  Given there is only a few weeks until the end of November he clearly has no intention of moving on so I would be reiterating that end of month deadline and if NM doesn't like it he can go with him.  They are both using you. I understand you do not wish to reintroduce the subject given you have already told him he needs to leave at the end of the month but history shows he does not listen and either tries to get round you by buying flowers, paying a pittance towards his keep or going via his dad. 

I am not surprised you are stressed and this often does cause IBS flare ups. 

I completely agree , he has been here long enough for not a lot of money - the intention of which has not been fulfilled.
I have told NM he hasn't been supporting me in what I need and although he may feel conflicted by what he feels his son needs he needs to take the blinkers off here and see that we are both being played , its easier for me to see this then his dad obviously.  They are both very good at procastinating and burying their heads in the sand rather then dealing with things but when  I stated the end of this month , there were 12 weeks until that point - in my view he has not made it a priority to act on that therefore any inconvenience of that now falls on him , not me.
I clearly remember saying in the said conversation , if you plan to move to be with the GF and you are not ready at the end of november then you need to look at house shares or return to your mothers. I have not given a date for that to be negoitated down the line and feel heavily disrespected that he would even consider this to be ok - your abusing the "family" connection and taking the pee 

During my outrage at the exposing of the said conversation with his dad last week , NM said to me " I can't get anything right so maybe I should go with him" , I replied quite calmly with " Thats not what I want however if you can't have my back and support me with this then yes you should go with him"

NM and I are both at a point in life that we just want calmness and well being around us and this situation is just bring stress and conflict.

I will be revisiting this with a " I know he hasn't approached me so I assume he has a plan B but have you made it clear to him that staying on is not an option"

MC very much stays out of my way , it is as if he is scared to ask me .............................that should tell him everything.

efes_shareholder

£28 on waxing yesterday - oh that pain , I wonder why we put ourselves through it

Went in to my local indian and now can't get the time slot that works for us - annoying as I waited for a response from my sister rather then just sorting myself out which means we have missed out 

Have resigned myself to cooking on Xmas day. , its just the 5 of us so will just get on with it. Good job I booked two shopping slots.

Scott_Weiland79

efes_shareholder said:

Scott_Weiland79 said:

stress can cause havoc with hormones and it can infleunce things like water retention/sleep etc

How has your hydration being?

Its pretty good , The importance of water intake is something I am aware off and I have incoperated 3 daily juices which cite various health benefits. I regularly hydrate during the day and have jumped on the coconut water train too

I have been doing mostly resistance training in the gym as dont feel energised enough to undertake the cardio however maybe the balance between the two isn't quite there.

I am a bit of a stress head , not helped by menopause and can fall in to depressive cycles if I am aware and do not feed my mind the right information - that in itself isn't always easy.

The cardio doesnt have to be crazy though you know. Even just doing 10mins at the end of your weights session will help. 

Walking quick on a running machine ie steady state cardio (LISS cardio) will honestly help. 

Google LISS cardio and the benefits