taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Newstartforme said:

Hi ES , glad you had a nice weekend,  out of interest , are your stomach issues lessened if you don't drink alcohol ? Wondered if that could be an irritant  . MC , seriously , his treats to himself are what a lot of families have to live on really , 50 quid to his dad , is that his rent money ? I remember you saying you kept it low with a view to him getting on track . Hopefully this week or next brings some action , not looking likely though . Take care xx

it is something I wondered myself and probably didnt do myself any favours having wine at the football although I did opt for red. I don't think it helps at all , I used to drink a lot more then what I do now but I absolutely need to cut down frequency. As I have my GS this weekend I won't be drinking and will abstain the following weekend hopefully , the problem is , it really is my relaxer.

As for MC , the spending is just ridiculous but its on him............It does add to my armoury when if and when I have to bring up the lack of forward planning.

Unfortunately he has taken to watching TV with us and sitting around and chatting more - the cynical side of me believes there is a purpose to this rather then just coincidence but the oppurtunity to have another chat with his dad is not there right now. I won't have it during working hours or when we are in bed as this isn't the time but I do need the privacy to have it without risk of being interupted - there needs to be some action. Its been 7 weeks since the conversation about his departure , nothing appears to have been considered and he is still not talking to his mum

And yes , thats his rent money - an error on my part with hindsight but he could pay me 10 times the amount and I would still feel the same way. 

efes_shareholder

Made it the gym this morning for 6am - didnt feel very productive as I literally just rolled out of bed and in there but I got there and did a few light resistance moves which seem to be helping with my general tone.

Did spend yesterday , dunelm about £25 for a new back and front door mat as the ones we have are fraying at the sides and the rubber is coming apart.

Will need to go out in my lunch too as there is no washing up liquid in the house and the shopping isn't coming until tomorrow.

Cooked shepherds pie last night and will be doing cod and chorizo stew tonight , will double check the reciepe and that I have everything I need before I head off to the shops.

I've had my tumeric immunity shot , and my beetroot juice this morning so just the green anti inflammatory one to go along with the biomel.

Half the battle is remembering to blooming take everything , maybe it will help my menopausal brain tick over.

Newstartforme

I asked about the alcohol as I remembered a former colleague had similar symptoms to you , she had testing and was intolerant to wheat and another product can't remember what though but do recall her saying we'll I'm not giving up lager and red wine 😂. I'm not a big drinker , also gave up smoking for health reasons and feel I'm in a permanent menopausal bad mood so I do get the fact alcohol can be a relaxant . Your meals always sound lovely . Don't be buying any 300 pound coats when you are at tesco now !xx 

dawnybabes

My friend can’t drink any wine with sulphites in - maybe that ? 

efes_shareholder

dawnybabes said:

My friend can’t drink any wine with sulphites in - maybe that ? 

I'm not sure what the difference is , what would i look for on the ingrediants

efes_shareholder

Didnt make the gym this morning will try again after work.

I have noticed that my waistline is looking more sleek and that I am starting to get some muscle definition which is what I was hoping for , so all in the right direction. I daren't get on the scales yet though as it can be quite depressing if it doesn't show the losses I want

Tonights serving will be chicken and sweet potato curry ( peanut butter base) with some cabbage and brocolli that needs to be used up and a small serving of rice.

Shopping has just been delivered - not much to show for £70 whatsoever but its feeding 3 adults so I guess thats not bad going. The only meat is some chicken thighs ,heck sausages and stewing beef.  I did get the herbal sleep aids on 3-2 substituted for nytol so I guess thats a win.

Have paid everything this month and the bonus has made my account look very healthy despite the large monthly c/card statement which I expected to dip in to savings for. Have transferred £450 in to savings,

The small PB win makes no difference in life at all this month so I will probably send that to over pay the mortgage as I just need to tap away at that.

Humdinger1

@efes_shareholder you are doing exactly the right thing by refusing to be soft-soaped over MC.  I understand that his father is protective, but what does he make of the crazily high discretionary spending while playing his violin over how he can't afford anything like  proper rent.  His dad is just enabling a spoiled, entitled world view which will stand him in very poor stead until he has his LBM.  I guess it's hard to find the right moment to discuss this? Love Humdinger xx 

Newstartforme

efes_shareholder said:

dawnybabes said:

My friend can’t drink any wine with sulphites in - maybe that ? 

I'm not sure what the difference is , what would i look for on the ingrediants

I think all wine would have sulphites as they occur due to the fermentation process x

efes_shareholder

Humdinger1 said:

@efes_shareholder you are doing exactly the right thing by refusing to be soft-soaped over MC.  I understand that his father is protective, but what does he make of the crazily high discretionary spending while playing his violin over how he can't afford anything like  proper rent.  His dad is just enabling a spoiled, entitled world view which will stand him in very poor stead until he has his LBM.  I guess it's hard to find the right moment to discuss this? Love Humdinger xx 

MC should go off to stay with the GWG either tomorrow or Saturday - I will be having the conversation with NM when I get back from GS on sunday ( if there is no chance before)  and re enforcing that the leave by date is not and never has been up for negotiation. 

It is very difficult but ultimately my own self care is now my priority. I know NM worked a lot and was not about that much as his kids grew , I think he carries an element of guilt over that and that the relationship with their mum failed and he wasn't about that much. He seems unable to give them a chug of reality and give doses of tough love but these are often needed as a parent even when your kids are adults. He is being played with the sympathy card of not seeing the kids and falling hook ,line and sinker. It isnt up to me to issue that reality check but if I am pushed too I will as I wouldnt hold back if he was my child.

GWG bought him the apple watch I hear ......................not that its much use to him ,hes left it in his room every day - the cynical side of me says that there is an agenda behind such an expensive gift the month before xmas!!!

 

efes_shareholder

Newstartforme said:

efes_shareholder said:

dawnybabes said:

My friend can’t drink any wine with sulphites in - maybe that ? 

I'm not sure what the difference is , what would i look for on the ingrediants

I think all wine would have sulphites as they occur due to the fermentation process x

 I am pretty sure that hard cheese is a trigger , and cows milk isnt easily tolerated either.

Melted cheese is fine ( thank the lord as cheese is life) but every cheese sandwich results in pain.