taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Newstartforme

Hope you are feeling better today ES , do you think your stomach issues are menopause related ? Xx

efes_shareholder

Newstartforme said:

Hope you are feeling better today ES , do you think your stomach issues are menopause related ? Xx

I've had the issues coming on 6 years now - they could be but I don't know - DR says severe IBS so I am a bit of a mystery. its very weird though as the pain is specific to one area on the right hand side above my hip.

Joys of women hood 

efes_shareholder

so its the end of the week

Stomach appear to have settled down but still not as it should be.

Looks the MC is extending the stay in Ibiza - he was due back today but he called NM when I was in the garden last night and i overheard "so your staying out there for a bit , have you sorted your flights out?" 

NM hasn't mentioned said conversation to me - further confirmation that he is aware that MC is not flavour of the month.

He will need to mention it as since the new door was fitted , MC no longer has a key so can't just let himself in.

I am out for food with a friend tonight and after that we are all heading to a club night - I will broach this subject then as we will all be out of the house and as far as i have been told , he is expected home today.

NM is going to join me and my GF later , i'm not one for clubbing usually when i have to pay to get in but my friends uber to me was going to be over £50 so I have said I will pick her up , we are eating and then going out but as I am picking her up I know she will repay in buying more drinks etc so its a bit of a saving on my part for a 15 minute journey 

Not much planned for the weekend , I have a boiler service tomorrow so will need to get cash out for that , also need to be up by about 9 ish so can't go too mad tonight.

We are invited to a friends bbq tomorrow where the weather is looking more favourable to that should be nice and relatively inexpensive.

Hopefully between the service and the bbq we can fit in a good gym session and again on sunday.

Newstartforme

Glad you are feeling a bit better and sounds like a lovely weekend for you . The MC seriously! Is it not quite expensive to extend holiday , change flights etc ! We would all like our holidays to go on longer but unfortunately have responsibilities , hopefully you get a bit of a timeline sorted for him moving on soon , take care x

efes_shareholder

Newstartforme said:

Glad you are feeling a bit better and sounds like a lovely weekend for you . The MC seriously! Is it not quite expensive to extend holiday , change flights etc ! We would all like our holidays to go on longer but unfortunately have responsibilities , hopefully you get a bit of a timeline sorted for him moving on soon , take care x

I misunderstood the situation or the situation changed , he landed back late fri but went back to the girls until very late last night - I understood she lived with her parents so either they are happy for him to stay or she has got her own place - I really hope its the latter !!!!!!!!!!!!

Already I feel the atmosphere has changed and NM has been very wary to even bring the son up , he hid a key outside for him last night as he didn't have a key since the new door was fitted - I was sarcastic about that as he should have just come home at a decent hour and then the security of my house would not have been compromised. The arrangement had been made between them , he hadn't mentioned it and to be honest although its petty and unimportant , it annoyed me !!!!

I;m sure I will become more and more triggered as time goes on , like if and when all his washing is deposited in my basket!!!

Weekend was lovely and not too spendy , great night out with my friend on the friday - managed to off load a lot of frustration during dinner and then went clubbing.
Saturday I was very delicate but we attended our friends bbq
yesterday we had a longer gym session then usual and then came home and had a nice chilled out day in the garden.

Not very spendy fortunately but it would have been nice if it had gone on for  longer. 

£125 win on PB so have out that in to my savings.

efes_shareholder

well ...................I've made a poor choice !!

My sister came round and I was venting my frustrations to her about the situation at home - unbeknown to me whilst we were in the garden MC had come home and hadn't made anyone aware

We were chatting about it for quite some time until my sister heard a rustling on the stairs - !!!!!! drop me out !! He came down , put some washing on and appeared normal but we both looked at each other mortified as I am sure he would have heard some of it.

Annoyed that he just comes in and makes no one aware - I could have been doing anything and another reflection of how my privacy is compromised but also absolutely mortified that he may have heard just how I feel

I guess time will tell - I'm gonna tell NM to give it a few days and let him settle back in to life before we have a moving forward chat but if hes heard anything I suspect he will have an idea of my opinion.

I am slightly concerned but its nothing I wouldnt say to him about pure financial choices etc but lets wait and see how that pans out.

He was ok before he went out though so I'm not sure how much he picked up on but I wanted the ground to swallow me up whole !!

Newstartforme

I know you will be concerned ES but very wrong to enter the house without shouting hi it's me or similar. If he has heard it might speed up his departure somewhat . Glad you had a good weekend xx

efes_shareholder

Newstartforme said:

I know you will be concerned ES but very wrong to enter the house without shouting hi it's me or similar. If he has heard it might speed up his departure somewhat . Glad you had a good weekend xx

yeah , its kind of my train of thought

I could have been having a bath door wide open etc not expecting someone back at 11 o'clock

Either way I was having what I felt was a private conversation - I could have been discussing my sex life , my feelings on my relationship ANYTHING as at the time I felt I was in a safe space.

If he has heard he will know my feelings anyway .................. I wasn't and I still wont minimise my feelings when said conversation with NM takes place - should I be present so nothing was said that I wouldn't say to him.

I'm not going to mention it to NM .................best not too I don't think

Seasidegal58

I do think you are going to blow sooner or later - I know I would. Perhaps you should mention it to NM. He  knows how you feel - and I'm pretty sure MC had an idea of it too before today. He's just not bothering to acknowledge it in the hope he can carry on as he is. I think it was wrong of NM to go behind your back and leave the key outside for MC without telling you. I understand it's his son and he's probably worried about him but it's not as if he's a teenager. He has what I can see decent money coming in - enough to sort out his life for the near future. It's a shame about his kids but that's not your fault. In fact if his ex does decide to let him see them soon then it will revert back to you having them there weekends which isn't what you ever wanted for the long term. It's going to put even more pressure on you and your relationship.  MC should be looking to rent a flat in order that when he does finally get to have his children there's somewhere for them.

Humdinger1

Yup, all of the above that @Seasidegal58 says. NM needs to have your back here.  I wonder if MC's ex has  a similar story to tell.  NM can give moral support to MC that's not at your expense.   Maybe he feels in an impossible situation but it's not that.   Love Humdinger xx