taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Seasidegal58

Sending positive vibes for the conversation this evening........👍❤️

efes_shareholder

Thank you - said conversation did not take place

NM came home quite despondent and stressed out about a situation at work and although I am not looking forward to the chat it was clear to me that this was NOT the time and I didn't need to put any more on him.

Instead I listened and offered encouragement , did us a nice dinner ( cod , chorizo and butter bean stew was banging) with a glass of wine.

A few times I did consider broaching it but he just seemed so ground down it didn't feel like the right time so just tried to lift the mood and give a relaxing environment ......................back of my mind I potentially considered that if he was chilled in our space , with a supportive me etc he may also want the space back but that may be wishful thinking

this evening plan to head to the gym and then I have to broach it as time is running out and there are potentially only two more evenings , so if he returns home in the same mindset I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet.


Money news not much happening which is good as it means not much spending going on ............................do need to decide what I am going to do with the 0% card which is nearing the end 

Seasidegal58

I think you were quite right in not having 'The Conversation' as OH sounded really down about work. Hopefully he's brighter this evening and you feel more confident that he will listen. 

efes_shareholder

Had a chat tonight - it was shorter then I expected but probably just aswell as it would have become a bit of an attack and no one wants to soak that up about their own child.

I basically said I’d felt really relaxed and enjoyed this week and realised I’d been quite short and triggered and basically that was because what was offered as a short term solution didn’t look like changing 
I asked him how long he thought the son expected to be with us
he basically agreed that and said he had been thinking the same
NM said he would be talking to him on his return about his plans and bringing the lack of progress up to him
i said mc earn good money and could afford his own space but seemed it was more convenient to use ours to wine and dine and show the lady the best time
i did mention being responsible and the 2.5k day job cash he churned through in a few weeks.

there were quite a few thoughtful silences , no objections and I think some embarrassment so I didn’t go to heavy on timelines - that can keep.

I mainly focused on lack of progress and that I’d always stated this was short term and we were 6 months in and nothing had changed