taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Wow its feels like so much has happened since I was last here.

I am now settling in to my new premises and the costs that come with it , it was long and tiring shifting NM's stuff alone - I have never known a man own so much. We then had to get flat back on scratch to hand over , or should I say I did !!!!!! 

I've currently got a large balance sitting on a 0% credit card , not good for someone with a history of unmanageable debt but I feel its managed just I would rather use their money then my own as I am not sure I am strict enough to pay myself back just yet.

WIth a new home comes things you hadn't thought about , we needed a new bed ( my trusty but tatty old double is now in our spare room) , new table and chairs ( picked up from the charity shop for £100) , a sofa , various light fittings , bedside cabinets , front room units , bedding as the new bed is a super king and things just mount up 

The good news is I have the money to pay it back at any time and also NM is being very generous with his keep money which basically means I can send the vast majority of that to the bill each month and still have a roof over our heads and can feed us. 
NM also paid for the blinds to the back of the house and bought us a bigger tv as ours looked silly in the front room. 

Mums house should exchange next week and should then complete early in the new year , the couple are coming from rented and it seems silly to do it before xmas when they cant get any work done or move in so ive said as long as its exchanged before xmas I am happy and we can all relax and know its happening afterwards.

its been a tough slog clearing the final bits , NM son has taken the american fridge freezer which had to go over the garden wall , a friend dismantled and collected my triple wardrobe , several trips to the dump and also a clearance company for the final lot but aside from collecting my paperwork for mums estate and making sure the boiler is working , everything else is ready to go , I'm ready to draw a line under it , Im worn out with moving , clearing and cleaning !!

Once we complete on mums   I then need to tinker with my mortgage , its not ideal but I will be anxious until every duck of mine is in a row so I will be using whatever I have from the estate to reduce my BIG interest only mortgage to a more managable repayment. 
Firstly I'll clear whatever the balance is on the 0% card. I'll also have an early exit fee but thats my own fault for not anticipating the down turn in the housing market and I will just have to suck it up.
If I've calculated correctly I will still have a sizeable amount of savings , near on a years salary and I have no intention of using them for anything other then an emergency.

it feels very strange now being in a house I have longed for and it still doesnt feel like mine , I am not 100% certain Im going to be "happy" here , its too early to tell but for now it feels lovely and the signs are good.

We have a full house of children all over xmas except for xmas day and both NM and my 2 of my kids will be spending part of the time together so our blended families will become combined which again is something we have been wanting 

In other news my aunt sadly passed a few days after my last post which was very sad for us all.

lucielle

Very pleased you’ve managed to get moved and your mums house is nearly over the line.  Sorry to read of your aunt’s passing. 

L

Buffythedebtslayer

Wow Efes, it is so lovely that you have your house. What good feeling. It sounds great. XXX So sorry about your Aunt XXX 

really glad to hear from you again XXX 

fantasyvsreality

Nice to hear your news Efes and congrats on your new home. I love reading your diary (longtime lurker) and missed seeing updates on how you are getting on.

efes_shareholder

so todays words , patience and condensation 

I was pleasantly surprised with the first energy bill @ the house as we ended up being £3 in credit once the government payment came through however this month is very different. Not sure whether its where we feel more at home so aren't paying as much attention , just general usage increases in the winter or something a miss however the electric use has tripled , the gas doubled ................once the rebate comes off the bill is £82 which I guess isnt too terrible considering but I dont get how the usage has increased so much !!
the heating is controlled by an app on my phone and granted ive had a few incidents with it , like turning the heating on and then the devices losing connection so i couldnt turn it off unless i got in the loft to reconnect , leaving the heating running when we were away for the weekend but other than that we only have it on an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening , we have two incomes and we can afford to pay but for me its a matter of principle that I will not just crank it on cos we can afford it as we are also being ripped off !! the electric I really dont understand , Ive been using the dishwasher a lot more and obviously the lighting is needed earlier , the slow cooker is on in favour of the ninja but we dont leave lights on in rooms etc and we dont have kids leaving them on and playing games consoles ................either way , I shall try and be a bit more mindful , im waiting for shell to call as we are on a night and day tariff which i asked to be swapped when we moved in and also via their chat , both times i was told it would be however it wasnt and now they are saying I must have a smart meter for that to happen.

the windows are suffering terrible condensation , ive got those little dehumidifer pots and i wipe them down daily with the squigge but they just flood again , particulary upstairs - its not just us , neighbouring houses have the same problem.
NM has been told I would like a karcher window vac for xmas , should be a handy device as it also cleans flat surfaces and i have shiny work tops so im hoping it helps them 

we have a completion date for mums house however we cant exchange until one piece of missing info is provided by their lender , hoping it will be the end of the week and then i can relax a bit and enjoy the break.

xmas shopping almost done , need to get NM something 

have paid 2 installments of CT this month and will do the same again when NM housekeep hits my account and then there are no more payments until April and I can focus more on the 0% card

im working from home again now due to the weather , I so prefer it particulary leading up to xmas , we are mid hill so its very slippery outside but NM has bought some grit salt home from work so now our path is clear.
hes taken a big bucket to fill and we will do the path down from the car which will help all the neighbours as its very steep and slippy 

efes_shareholder

day 4 of being stuck inside due to the ice outside , starting to go slightly stir crazy , I darent drive NM car on our ice rink hill. No milk for 2 days as ive asked him to bring some in both days and he has forgotten


not having a good day , this time last year was horrendous and i cant help but reflect on that , also as much as i usually enjoy xmas and its nice to have all of our families around , its a lot of work and planning and the first without my mum.
Everything seems to remind me of her 

still waiting to exchange on mums house , apparantly the hold up is something to do with the buyers lending confirming something - I just want it done. 

have a big sainsburys shop coming tonight and a further slot booked next wednesday , its ridiculously expensive 

Stop the world I want to get off

efes_shareholder

hello overwhelming time of year

My front room is full of presents , all wrapped aside from one and now I need to find somewhere to put them !! the house is in carnage but at least it will be done and I can put the cellotape away 
Refuse to buy anymore and have resisted temptation to add bits when I have seen the last minute reductions , its just one day and with the exception of NM's grandsons they are all adults who earn their own money

The catering has cost a small fortune , and I have no idea how I am going to fit all in the freezer which I have been trying too and failed too run down in time for the festive fillings , however Ive longed for a xmas like this so have to suck it up

NM has been helping with the extras which is always welcome.

Mums house exchanged this morning , its a relief but there is an element of sadness too , the end of an era , disapointment that I couldnt afford to keep it but also acceptance that things change and its time for new memories and traditions 
We complete early in the new year.

Spoke to my DR this morning as my stomach issues are back with some oomph , my dr thinks its severe IBS and is going to run through some checks again just to make sure nothing is being missed - maybe its the stress of moving , xmas and mums sale although I dont feel stressed , just tired.
Ive also got a referal to a genetics clinic to look in genetic links with the pancreatic cancer that appears to run through our family 

Not much to report on the finance side of things , NM is due to pay me some keep , Im going to clear the council tax so theres no further payments until April , put some aside for energy costs ( although its nice to be able to power it down again now the snow has gone and we have spring temps) , allocate a slice to the 0% card and hope I can limp through the long period between xmas and next pay day.

Ive volunteered to show my face in the office tomorrow although now regret that as it seems like there is so much to do @ home - trying not to think too much or allow myself to be overwhelmed 
its just a hoover , bed changes , clean the fridge and usual cleaning tasks - probably only myself who will notice if it isnt done !!!! 

Seasidegal58

Just caught up just caught up with your diary and sending belated Christmas and New Year good wishes!
I was sorry to read about your auntie - that's hard especially on top of losing your mum. I hope your Christmas wasn't too upsetting without her. When my mum passed some years ago my sister and I decided that we and our families would go out to eat on Christmas Day. We wouldn't usually do that but we didn't fancy eating at home that first Christmas without her. 

I'm glad to read that your move went well though and you're settled in with NM. All the very best for 2023 and this new exciting chapter of your life!😀👍

Humdinger1

Just wondering how you are @efes_shareholder? This year should be better, no?! Love Humdinger xx 

efes_shareholder

good afternoon and thank you for all of your kind comments

Hopefully this year will be better ! Mums house has completed , I had to call past to pick up some post from a neighbour and the door was open , seemed weird to find another family there and making it their home but i'll get used to it and the house has been crying out for love for years. Its very welcome not to have the clearance and sort out on going and to finally close the chapter and get some time back to myself.

Ive been referred to a genetics clinic to investigate whether we have a gene link for cancer , my cousin is further along the process and via dr's tests has discovered she has blood cancer - not the best start to the year however had it not been for our family history being looked in to she would never have known and has been caught early enough to medicate daily and have regular check ups/monitoring so I guess its a blessing that we started the investigations.

My own stomach issues have resurfaced, i have a scan this afternoon and further blood tests to do - im pretty sure its nothing too concerning else all these tests would have found something , I'd just like it to go away !!!!!!!

Just realised I haven't posted since Xmas , Xmas was lovely , we had a full of our kids across the 3 days and needed 2 days to recover.
We absolutely overbought and over catered and will probably be eating biscuits and crisps for a long time yet and very unlikely we will need alcohol before summer !! ( however this is me we are talking about so dont hold me to that) 

The house is slowly taking shape and I need to do a budget reset really , food shops are one increase i've really noticed , our food shop used to be around £40-45 for a week , often including a small bottle of gin or a couple of wines , this is more like £60 now and there is nothing that can really be done about it 
We have always bought store brands rather then brand names , we eat pretty healthy with a good mix of vegetables and avoid processed food where possible. I try and batch cook and NM is getting in to the habit of dinner left overs for lunch at work the next day. I don't see any area that I can cut and back on with the food shop , I've been making the most of sainsburys £15 off first shop if you spend £60 with various email and mobile numbers. We dont need much this week but since food seems to increase week on week at the moment I'll order meat to get to the £60 as this can be frozen and saved for another time