taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

so the mortgage offer is through , slightly less then I asked for and slightly more then what they reduced it down to on the back of my bonuses so all in I guess a win win.
Now the nerves start
Also a bit peeved that the vendors are stating they aren't leaving the light fittings , curtains or blinds. Would have liked them too but the blinds is a real pain so I am going to request that they leave them , the worse they can say is no or try and charge me a stupid figure. doesnt make much sense as they are leaving the french door blinds , which are absolutely made to fit and conserteen up and down so maybe they have just thought I won't want them.
Am going to make contact with the agent and solicitor and say i'd really like them left and anything else they don't get round to taking down.
If they take the curtains and light fittings I will at least put my own mark on the place and it will be a little less grey.
they are leaving the garden bar though so that is a plus.

Am caught up with all the feelings off " am i doing the right thing" but sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.

Have had a spend , cant go out or do anything so treat myself to a body scrub and mit for £10 from amazon. little things and all that.

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Yay - congratulations on the mortgage offer 🎉

Buffythedebtslayer

so happy about the mortgage! and frankly the body shop order too! 

I hope you are feeling ok, I am too hot to say anything useful but sending healing vibes and love XXX 

efes_shareholder

Thank you both

ran a hot bath and then couldn’t get the lid off the body scrub…….. it will keep.

popped open the rose Prosecco but currently have new home owner anxiety
what If things go wrong ?
what if NM leaves or gets I’ll ?
what if I get ill?
 What if there’s a crash and mums house doesn’t give enough to get the mortgage affordable with all these rises

am telling myself , what if I just chill out and trust the process and take a leap of faith without worrying about what ifs 

Kitten868

I don't think anyone can take a big step like this without worrying. It's completely natural plus you aren't super busy so you've got more time to think the worst. You have waited a long time for all this. Its your chance to have things for you. You deserve it and you haven't taken on too much. 
I also don't see the housing market crash. Too much of it has transferred to private companies. They won't let it happen. 
My favourite shop for light fittings is next. They're not as expensive as everywhere else and they're so lovely. 
Hopefully they'll say yes on the fitted blinds. It would be silly to take them. If not I love dunelm for blinds but I don't buy the slatted style ones. They do Emma Bridgewater on blinds to go which is worth a look. Xxx

efes_shareholder

i think I'm just over anxious because I'm doing things a bit back to front so there are lots of things to worry about , but there are also lots of solutions to any worries and I need to remember that I need to do what is right for now and the future will sort itself out. 
I've made the situation more complicated by wanting to retain mums house for my sister but it feels the right thing to do and its too late to change it now so just got to roll
The market where mum is appears to be slowing up , the place I am buying in not so but with all the press speculation I can't help but think I've made choices at the wrong time.

Doesn't help when you also get bombarded with costs , I know house buying is expensive but its all the little things that go with it.

I called the agent regarding the fittings not mentioned on the iternary , I'm still waiting on a reply but his initial reaction was that it was reasonable to expect them to be left and small minded of the vendor to have removed them , I need to get my documents witnessed and sent off so I will then mention this to the solicitor when I do so if the agent has not responded.
Basically I want the blinds left as a minimum 

Had a bit of a spendy week , its my future son in laws birthday so sent a present and card over so £50 spend.

I've been in a very odd mood this week , very emotional ( videos of dogs being rehomed sets me off) , I think I am missing the guidance of my mum on what is the right thing to do , all of a sudden I'm the elder of the family and expected to have all the answers and I'm not ready to be that person.
I've been pretty much at home the last 5 weeks unless NM takes me out , bar a dinner date , funeral and lunch with my sister.
( although NM's daughters took us out for dinner on monday) and I think I'm just missing normality of popping to the shops , popping in to see friends so this evening I'm going to drive over and visit a friend and just get myself out of the house for a while and see if that improves things.
I've also got a home furnishings shop planned with my friend on saturday , figured if I am tired there are lots of sofas and beds to sit on nearby. 
I feel very tearful and appear very sad , NM is worried that he is the reason which couldn't be further from the truth - he makes me so happy and brings out the best version of me , but its another thing I worry about , what if things go wrong.

Kitten868

Oh efes. I've heard someone else talk about their panic over becoming the matriarch. It's big shoes to fill being the oldest. Just realise though you were fully aware of your mums flaws like her poor choices with money but you still really valued her opinion. I'm sure you are up to the call. Maybe lean on your friends more for their thoughts?

I'm hoping the market isn't drying up as we are putting our house on tomorrow so you know I mean it. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. This house is the right choice for you. You've not bought it anticipating needing to move in 3 years time. You're buying a house for you that you've chosen. It will all be lovely. Hope you enjoy shopping with your friend and it makes your house purchase more exciting xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Oh efes. I've heard someone else talk about their panic over becoming the matriarch. It's big shoes to fill being the oldest. Just realise though you were fully aware of your mums flaws like her poor choices with money but you still really valued her opinion. I'm sure you are up to the call. Maybe lean on your friends more for their thoughts?

I'm hoping the market isn't drying up as we are putting our house on tomorrow so you know I mean it. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. This house is the right choice for you. You've not bought it anticipating needing to move in 3 years time. You're buying a house for you that you've chosen. It will all be lovely. Hope you enjoy shopping with your friend and it makes your house purchase more exciting xxx

I’m the youngest but without blowing my own trumpet have always been the wiser one.
Good luck with your marketing , from what I can gather particularly in my area the market is regional and neighbouring areas are evening out. Another house on the road I am buying went on sale today for the same price , in good nick too so I am in the right area with the price. I think the amount the vendor isn’t leaving has also thrown me since I gave him a very good price.
I visited a friend tonight ,  not one I trust with my life so didn’t talk about the houses too much but it was nice to get out and the driving was fine and gave me a bit of freedom back.
I’m still slightly uncomfortable physically but think it’s gonna take a while 
will try and be a bit more upbeat and trust the process and the stars aligning 
I’m considering a visit to the spiritual church on Saturday morning , just feel like I need a bit of guidance right now 

efes_shareholder

the_end_of_the_rainbow said:

Yay - congratulations on the mortgage offer 🎉

Thank you 

Mumoffourkids

I haven’t commented before on your diary but am an avid reader. I feel your pain about house buying. I am currently buying a house at the moment and it just seems to be taking so long! I’m not selling anywhere and the house I am buying aren’t buying anywhere so it should be straightforward. But it’s not and I am worried I am making the wrong decision by buying. So I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel when you question whether you are making the right decision. I am also buying by myself but I am moving to a new area with my kids. It’s the only way I could buy somewhere was to move areas. It is so hard when you are the one that has to make the decision by yourself and although you have people you can talk to, ultimately the decision is yours alone.

Keep going and try not to stress too much. I’m sure everything will be good in the end.